I spent all this time doing what the brothers here advised me to do. Meditation, vibrating runes, the spiritual routine... But nothing works. In fact, it's always getting worse. I had decided to go back to fighting for my dream (which was my only reason for wanting to stay alive), but every day I get a big No in many different ways. When I get a no, I try to think of another plan to make my dream come true and again I get a no. It's like I'm surrounded and I don't have the right to dream. It's like my life is being controlled by something much bigger. It's like my life doesn't belong to me. It feels like I'm being forced to give up every dream I've ever had, no matter what they are. And to make matters worse, I'm all alone. I have no friends, the family members I live with don't care about me, my dreams or the pain I feel. I'm just having to deal with everything myself and keep it to myself because I have absolutely no one to talk to. I am again depressed and am daily being blamed for just staying in the room. I even lost the right to feel pain. My aunt right now is angry and complains and badmouths me for being like this. She didn't even try to talk to me, didn't show the slightest bit of interest. When I said my dreams are shattered, I told her why and she just acted like it was nothing. And she was the only and last person I could count on, since she is my mother's sister who passed away. But the truth is, I'm all alone. Not even when I try to communicate with the gods... I ask for help, I beg for help, company... but it's always all in vain. I'm really losing the will to live. Maybe I should just give up dreaming, give up going on. Living is being really painful for me. And even the aura cleaning jobs were also in vain.

You have a tidal wave pushing against you and you have worked against it, for a month? Two months? For permanent improvement, you need to advance much more and keep at it much longer. Don't give up, because by giving up you are not going to see any improvement. But if you work hard and smart, you can see improvement down the line eventually. Keep in mind that this Path is for life (or more accurately, lives).

How long you was doing practices? Are you dedicated? If yes how long?

Henu the Great said:

You have a tidal wave pushing against you and you have worked against it, for a month? Two months? For permanent improvement, you need to advance much more and keep at it much longer. Don't give up, because by giving up you are not going to see any improvement. But if you work hard and smart, you can see improvement down the line eventually. Keep in mind that this Path is for life (or more accurately, lives).

Click to expand...

I don't even have time to breathe. so many problems. all my dreams are being shattered. the years are passing by. and I'm alone. And I've been trying all this longer than that. It seems a crime that I want and need help. I already struggle daily. But alone I can't stand it. All my dreams being shattered and I can't do anything to resolve and fulfill my dreams. and just appear more problems. I am literally living thanks to all of this. It seems that I have no right to live as I want.

I think that the biggest hurdle you can face in your life is when the Planets energies go against your wishes. You can stop and wait for it to pass and try at a more favourable time, or you can break that dream of yours into 10, 20, 30 etc.. segments and start working slowly towards it, one at a Time.

Also sometimes the things that we think are our dreams, are just false dreams created by some kind of a trauma in the past. This happened to me.

If it is truly your dream, keep at it, don't give up, stay positive and you will achive it. You got infinite knowledge here, which can help you in your quest, and alot of Borthers and Sisters that can give you advice. And you allways have the Gods, you can't perhaps see them or hear them(yet), but they are there.


Good Luck

First. Remove stress because it is harmful and destructive. It has been scientifically proven that no living organism can tolerate long-term stress, unlike short-term stress.

Second. Advance concretely spiritually first and then cast spells please. You must realise that Humanity is sunk and stuck in the material dimension. Have you reached the subtle things? More than likely not. And you deceive yourself as if you have worked with these things and expect results.

And thirdly. You don't do everything with the spiritual because you don't exist in it alone. Work, partner and friends are basic things in life, you have to have these things.

Well, this situation is VERY familiar to me because I felt very similar things when I was starting out on my journey.

First of all, we need to know one fundamental thing: spirituality (ie magic and meditation) WORKS. Some may not feel the effects at first. It's very frequent. My case at the beginning is that I felt the effects, but I was afraid they were only suggestion. But it is variable.

But what is certain is that meditating works. Meditations are made to work. And if meditations work (and they really work) everyone can advance.

PS
So quitting would just mean never making anything work. Giving up is as if we destined ourselves to have lost. (Might as well try to fight at this point, don't you think?)

Kramer said:

I spent all this time doing what the brothers here advised me to do. Meditation, vibrating runes, the spiritual routine... But nothing works. In fact, it's always getting worse. I had decided to go back to fighting for my dream (which was my only reason for wanting to stay alive), but every day I get a big No in many different ways. When I get a no, I try to think of another plan to make my dream come true and again I get a no. It's like I'm surrounded and I don't have the right to dream. It's like my life is being controlled by something much bigger. It's like my life doesn't belong to me. It feels like I'm being forced to give up every dream I've ever had, no matter what they are. And to make matters worse, I'm all alone. I have no friends, the family members I live with don't care about me, my dreams or the pain I feel. I'm just having to deal with everything myself and keep it to myself because I have absolutely no one to talk to. I am again depressed and am daily being blamed for just staying in the room. I even lost the right to feel pain. My aunt right now is angry and complains and badmouths me for being like this. She didn't even try to talk to me, didn't show the slightest bit of interest. When I said my dreams are shattered, I told her why and she just acted like it was nothing. And she was the only and last person I could count on, since she is my mother's sister who passed away. But the truth is, I'm all alone. Not even when I try to communicate with the gods... I ask for help, I beg for help, company... but it's always all in vain. I'm really losing the will to live. Maybe I should just give up dreaming, give up going on. Living is being really painful for me. And even the aura cleaning jobs were also in vain.

Click to expand...

are you doing the FRTR
https://satanslibrary.org/tspaintableb.html

Henu the Great said:

You have a tidal wave pushing against you and you have worked against it, for a month? Two months? For permanent improvement, you need to advance much more and keep at it much longer. Don't give up, because by giving up you are not going to see any improvement. But if you work hard and smart, you can see improvement down the line eventually. Keep in mind that this Path is for life (or more accurately, lives).

Click to expand...

so i have to be immersed in all this trouble and agony all this time? It doesn't make any sense

Many such cases on these forums, you will see those who stuck with the path of spiritual advancement consistently eventually improved their situation and thrived while those who gave up too soon stagnated and declined. You need to keep optimistic about things and have a consistent meditation routine. If you are doing nothing you will feel like shit naturally so at least get meditations in so you are progressing in some way. For stress you can do void meditation, you can do a spiritual Jupiter square for optimism, and for discipline use Nauthiz or hypnosis. Also depression is a result of low bio-electricty so do activities which increase this such as Yoga, breathing exercises, energy meditation, etc... If you are lonely than you can ask for a demon friend or as you have expressed interest before an incubus in formal ritual. For incubus it doesn't have to be monogamous if you aren't ready for that commitment you can just do polygamous both ways. Ask Satan and/or your guardian to help guide you out of your current state. Just keep enduring and progressing and you will be suprised where you are in a year or less.

Kramer said:

I don't even have time to breathe. so many problems. all my dreams are being shattered. the years are passing by. and I'm alone. And I've been trying all this longer than that. It seems a crime that I want and need help. I already struggle daily. But alone I can't stand it. All my dreams being shattered and I can't do anything to resolve and fulfill my dreams. and just appear more problems. I am literally living thanks to all of this. It seems that I have no right to live as I want.

Click to expand...

The solution would be to keep up and not give up... What exactly have you done daily, and for how long? Be precise.

Kramer said:

so i have to be immersed in all this trouble and agony all this time? It doesn't make any sense

Click to expand...

If you give up your suffering will continue extending into future incarnations.

If you do not give up, your suffering will ease at some point.

I think there is a clear difference. But again, what exactly have you done to make your situation better?

Henu the Great said:

You have a tidal wave pushing against you and you have worked against it, for a month? Two months? For permanent improvement, you need to advance much more and keep at it much longer. Don't give up, because by giving up you are not going to see any improvement. But if you work hard and smart, you can see improvement down the line eventually. Keep in mind that this Path is for life (or more accurately, lives).

Click to expand...

you just tell me that i have to keep doing it and that with time everything will get better. but All the problems I have are not waiting problems. They are not small. You just want me to wait years for my life to get better, so I can finally support myself? There are dreams that depend on the time that is started to be fulfilled. And age doesn't wait either. the world does not wait. And no matter how much I ask the gods for help, I'm always alone and nothing ever gets better. Not even a little. I don't think it's right to spend years in anguish living problems like that. And nobody seems to realize that what I'm living feels like a curse. Absolutely nothing goes right in my life. My age is passing and the only thing they tell me is to go on and wait.

Sunny said:

First. Remove stress because it is harmful and destructive. It has been scientifically proven that no living organism can tolerate long-term stress, unlike short-term stress.

Second. Advance concretely spiritually first and then cast spells please. You must realise that Humanity is sunk and stuck in the material dimension. Have you reached the subtle things? More than likely not. And you deceive yourself as if you have worked with these things and expect results.

And thirdly. You don't do everything with the spiritual because you don't exist in it alone. Work, partner and friends are basic things in life, you have to have these things.

Click to expand...

I don't have any of the basic things you mentioned: work, partner and friends. I don't have any of that. Nothing in my life goes right. and When I say nothing goes right, I really mean nothing ever goes right. Not even the basic stuff you mentioned. And I will say. My life has ALWAYS been like this. Everything always went wrong.

TerKorian666 said:

How long you was doing practices? Are you dedicated? If yes how long?

Click to expand...

It's been 1 year and a few months since I've been dedicated and started my commitment to Pai Satan. and the works.... I started in the month of December last month with the rituals for the month of December. and since then I started with meditations and other things that have already been mentioned here. But it seems like the problems in my life just got worse. and my dreams are quickly destroyed after I dream. I never get even the basic stuff. I'm still managing to survive because I'm simply supported by my brother's pension. If it weren't for that money, I would be on the street right now starving. To get a sense of how my life goes wrong

Kramer said:

you just tell me that i have to keep doing it and that with time everything will get better. but All the problems I have are not waiting problems. They are not small. You just want me to wait years for my life to get better, so I can finally support myself? There are dreams that depend on the time that is started to be fulfilled. And age doesn't wait either. the world does not wait. And no matter how much I ask the gods for help, I'm always alone and nothing ever gets better. Not even a little. I don't think it's right to spend years in anguish living problems like that. And nobody seems to realize that what I'm living feels like a curse. Absolutely nothing goes right in my life. My age is passing and the only thing they tell me is to go on and wait.

Click to expand...

Look, you can either fight and make things better, or cry like a baby and nothing gets better.

What exactly have you done, and for how much to better your situation?

Kramer said:

TerKorian666 said:

How long you was doing practices? Are you dedicated? If yes how long?

Click to expand...

It's been 1 year and a few months since I've been dedicated and started my commitment to Pai Satan. and the works.... I started in the month of December last month with the rituals for the month of December. and since then I started with meditations and other things that have already been mentioned here. But it seems like the problems in my life just got worse. and my dreams are quickly destroyed after I dream. I never get even the basic stuff. I'm still managing to survive because I'm simply supported by my brother's pension. If it weren't for that money, I would be on the street right now starving. To get a sense of how my life goes wrong

Click to expand...

Just don’t stop. You just move on and on, and in addition to this path do other necessary things in your life to survive. You are at the very beginning your character is being tested, what Satan expects from you, that you will prove your worth, by not giving up and just going on no matter what. 1 year is just a very very beginning.., you have to move trough everything in your life with satanic practices, after a point you will be able to use basic knowledge by your will and then everything will change. It’s not because you on this path it’s hard for you to live, it is because of how much you fucked up yourself until coming to Satan. Find enough courage inside to start fixing everything… are you able to work?

Kramer said:

Sunny said:

First. Remove stress because it is harmful and destructive. It has been scientifically proven that no living organism can tolerate long-term stress, unlike short-term stress.

Second. Advance concretely spiritually first and then cast spells please. You must realise that Humanity is sunk and stuck in the material dimension. Have you reached the subtle things? More than likely not. And you deceive yourself as if you have worked with these things and expect results.

And thirdly. You don't do everything with the spiritual because you don't exist in it alone. Work, partner and friends are basic things in life, you have to have these things.

Click to expand...

I don't have any of the basic things you mentioned: work, partner and friends. I don't have any of that. Nothing in my life goes right. and When I say nothing goes right, I really mean nothing ever goes right. Not even the basic stuff you mentioned. And I will say. My life has ALWAYS been like this. Everything always went wrong.

Click to expand...

I don't know but you have to do something to improve your life.

Kramer said:

I spent all this time doing what the brothers here advised me to do. Meditation, vibrating runes, the spiritual routine... But nothing works. In fact, it's always getting worse. I had decided to go back to fighting for my dream (which was my only reason for wanting to stay alive), but every day I get a big No in many different ways. When I get a no, I try to think of another plan to make my dream come true and again I get a no. It's like I'm surrounded and I don't have the right to dream. It's like my life is being controlled by something much bigger. It's like my life doesn't belong to me. It feels like I'm being forced to give up every dream I've ever had, no matter what they are. And to make matters worse, I'm all alone. I have no friends, the family members I live with don't care about me, my dreams or the pain I feel. I'm just having to deal with everything myself and keep it to myself because I have absolutely no one to talk to. I am again depressed and am daily being blamed for just staying in the room. I even lost the right to feel pain. My aunt right now is angry and complains and badmouths me for being like this. She didn't even try to talk to me, didn't show the slightest bit of interest. When I said my dreams are shattered, I told her why and she just acted like it was nothing. And she was the only and last person I could count on, since she is my mother's sister who passed away. But the truth is, I'm all alone. Not even when I try to communicate with the gods... I ask for help, I beg for help, company... but it's always all in vain. I'm really losing the will to live. Maybe I should just give up dreaming, give up going on. Living is being really painful for me. And even the aura cleaning jobs were also in vain.

Click to expand...

Let's start with the fact that nothing in life is futile, because everything has an essence within a given paradigm, just as everything you do has a meaning, even if you now see that it doesn't. I believe you are in a bad and chaotic situation, but at this point stop, don't put yourself in a worse state of mind.

The dreams you are fighting for, keep them to yourself for a while. Don't let other people's opinions deter you from what would make you truly happy, just don't let them break the law. You may only be surrounded by people who can hurt you spiritually, but you need to shape your own soul, not others.

If you are not independent, then appreciate all that you are here for now on JoS, because you are here for a reason. Outsiders are outsiders because they either don't know Knowledge, or they know it but don't care, and neither is relevant to progress. You have countless opportunities to grow.

Are you in your room all day? So? Are you hurting someone? No. This is a time for your development, for clearing your aura and chakras, for banishing depression and for yoga. There may not necessarily be a change that day, but your mood and mood will take a constructive turn.

It may sound boring, but if you don't do these, you'll be a long way from progress. Spiritual Satanism will develop you through Spirituality, which will result in you developing physically, in which you can manifest material wealth. Do not throw away this virtue, depression is the worst possible companion to loneliness, believe me.

Many things bother me too, for example I want to be on good terms with everyone, I don't like to fight, but I can't be on good terms with everyone. If somebody doesn't like the way I am, let them leave me alone. I don't have to do anything, I just have to be nice to everyone, but if someone doesn't like me, I don't bother with them anymore. You have to understand that. If they look down on you or something, then don't bother about them.

Pretend to listen to them, but within yourself concentrate on Satan, Who is the Power, the Truth, the Light and the New Life. Don't take on the negative thoughts of others, and don't cling to them. The Runes and what you write are not nonsense, just keep going. If you are in a bad mood, do it faster, but do it anyway. Find something to keep you busy, create for your soul what you need.

There are countless nihilists and ignorant people in the world, don't add to their camp.