wow man these days I've been so bored today I hit a new level of boredom...quarantine and population brainwash has been going hard in my area and there's practically nothing, absolutely nothing to do aside from the usual stuff
i just wanted to write this out, mainly because of the reason stated above but also because there is nobody else that I can talk about these things IRL, so the forum is always like some sort of secondary home. With this said, what im gonna say is not to be taken that seriously, even though it might be similar to what everyone goes through when doing magick, just felt a little creative and had a moment that made me laugh somewhat
Im doing a love spell which has been going for a lil bit more than 40 days, now how long it has been going is irrelevant to me, since I realized I wasn't that good at "sending" or directing energy to other people. I have had success working with stuff that involved just me.
I got a solid affirmation, do a FEHU - GEBO - EHWAZ - KENAZ vibration on my target's aura and then visualize cords attaching our sacral, heart and sixth chakras. Using green color on her aura too, my intentions are also very genuine with this, id hate to force someone to be with me
and I say that cause im conscious some people here are against love spells cause they feel it's "manipulation" but it's hard for me to see how im manipulating someone, when, well, if im honest with myself, I figured out the girl would be much better with someone like me than some other random fucktard, that's just how it is
where I live it's hard to see girls that arent degenerates, it's also a small town, so you don't have that much new people popping up regularly and me being me, to be truly interested in someone else it's a tough job, might have happened 3 times in the last 6 or so years, having dun goofed the first 2, I decided to try and not lose a potential long lasting lover again, and believe me I have an eye to spot them
another minor reason to do this, is the little backstory that happened prior. I saw her on X social media app, thanks to a friend of her - ill try to not make it a corny ass story, but yeah she did get my attention and not physically though, I sensed the things i sense with those people that are worth someone's time, and this applies to friends, family members, etc, not only lovers. Then I went ahead and straight up asked her name, you know, the usual cringy game of nowadays dating
at the same time, this was during a time where the enemy was screwing me hard, it was the toughest time of the year in regards to attacks, to the point it affected me physically - had extreme fatigue, laziness and anything that prevented me from being active and bold, then add on top of it everyday's work which is very physical, i was a corpse by the time night came, literally
then fast forward some days, it was a friday night - I knew she would talk to me during this time, but I also knew the effects of the attacks would kick in hard and boy you can guess that she DID talk to me, but I lost that battle. I remember it vividly, lying on the couch just fighting to keep my eyes open, standing up, washing my face, just trying everything to stay awake. What sucked the most was that initially I replied to her and then some mins later she asked me what I was gonna do, but by the time that happened I was long gone - this might sound like it was really late at night, but in reality it was just around midnight.
Because what I sensed from this girl was true, I lost the real chance right there, I went on vacation a few days later, then when I came back she wasn't in town, so it was a chain of never ending bad luck, then that's when I started the spell. I gotta add though, on top of this, a girl that's almost impossible to find in the streets as she barely goes out, a hell of a combo.
It hurts a little now to realize that I had to succumb to the fukcing attacks...was 3 months of heavy constant harassment, managed it nicely the first 2 months but ran out of gas by the time this happened. no one to blame but myself honestly
With any magick I do, there's this sort of kinda fake backfiring effect before things turn into positives. I have been getting ICEd by her as of lately, but what made me laugh was when I replied to one of her posts (it's sent to her dm so no one can see) and she COMPLETELY ignored it, this made me reaise an eye, but few mins later, I think it was around half an hour, I got invaded by some really powerful external feeling/thought, which is the indistinguishable element in all of this
(and not the lack of a reply, that's meaningless in itself)
Even with my fairly limited power and skills, I know somethings up now - if this was normal magick i would be excited as it usually means the good things start to creep in little by little (With time), but because this involves someone else, this time im tapping into new territory.
This was all guys, I know it's long, but sometimes one just needs to write and vent out, some might relate, some not, but please do not take this as some sort of obsession from my side or any of that bs