Brother, there are news I think.
I don't know what it is today, but I woke up in a mood. Not a bad mood, just a different one. Felt a difference in the air, so to speak. Yesterday and over the last couple of days, I have decided I do rely too much on the Elements in order to stimulate my senses and chakras, and that I will eventually only use them as HP Maxine suggests it can (Fire mostly) help opening the chakras. I do find Fire to be the most 'comfortable' in a way, when I don't overdo it and feel it takes up too much of my attention and tolerance.
That said, yesterday I managed to do the RTR from work. Supposedly had to finish my shift at midnight, then I was free at 10pm instead, so I tried to see if the paintable RTR worked on the device (ready to use visualization and Fire to destroy the letters should the device not allow me to blot them).
I felt that something again, now I'm feeling it every time I do the Final RTR. It's like a building up power. Like a workout, in a way, and I feel great satisfaction when I do the three affirmations, feeling the enemy rapidly dwindling down in power. I know Father Satan is pleased with this.
Today's "news" though are about something that EVERY FUCKING TIME I managed to think about and set my course so I can reach that, SOMETHING happens.
If you read my first post on this thread again (if you forgot about that detail I briefly explain), one of the abilities I mention I have is the so called Thoughtform (which I always called Astral Clone). I used it as an astral doppelganger for years, healing and cleaning people's auras, BUT super rarely have I ever used my own energy on myself (I remember only one episode in which I was late for work, had to run a distance, my legs hurt, and I put a regenerating aura around them so I wouldn't be tired when I finally got to work).
Someone here, in the first replies, suggested I try to use it on myself, stating I should feel at least that.
Thing is, I overlooked the advice, but just remembered this is something I thought of before. More than once.
Example: I thought of this back in January 2017. The month after that, my grandma ended up in a hospital with her back broken (for the stupidest reason) and died the year after. See what I mean? This happened other times, not with these tragic events, but always with something that prevented me from "making up my mind and starting this training".
Today I woke up, felt this odd but obvious way (I did ask Father Satan yesterday to help me understand what it is that I'm meant to do to open myself) and I feel this astral clone/thoughform idea forming quickly in my mind again. I lost count of the times I HAD thought of it before today, and ended up caught in some shit that would keep me busy.
Today, right when I was getting things in motion and embracing this idea again, there's a knock on the door. Fucking jew-looking like jehova witnesses!!!!
Dismissed them (a very old couple) quickly, closed the door, and cast AC and AoP on myself and the house. Then I put on our correct-allineation-of-chakras-cross (cuz THEIRS is the reversed/fake one, can't call this reversed if you pointed a gun at me), AoP again, and now I feel better.
More than "better".... I have absolute proof now that they don't want me to do this thing with the thoughtform (DID think of you saying "they probably want you to do more RTRs today"... I will do that too).
To be honest, the idea of thoughtforms has always intrigued me. I kind of think of them as 'pets' and 'friends' that I can feed with more and more energy and make sure they never dissipate. Also, and most importantly, by using MY own thoughtforms and programming them I think I can definitely feel them when I'll get them to help me activating/cleaning/unlocking blocked chakras. I'm just thinking of using an additional Element in order to feel more, but I don't even think that's absolutely necessary this time. My energy alone should suffice. Runes vibrated into them should resonate when they interact with my soul.
Another thing: (this is kind of a longer post than I intended but...)
There has been another feeling today, something definitely strong enough to get me thinking. Also, this might be the reason I don't think I have a succubus (other than my inability to feel energy well of course), or at least a monogamous one. Father wouldn't allow it because I think there is someone else from my past.
I was about to approach this thoughtform business again when I felt a deep nostalgy for someone from past lives. I am really not convinced it could be a human woman. It feels like she was an astral, that we were strongly linked by some force. Another succubus that I had no clue about due to the past life amnesia? A thoughtform that had become more than just a servant?
HP Maxine said that some witches/mages have kept their thoughtforms for more than one life, as they became close to them. Could they act as a.. you know, the way a succubus works with us? Cause that would explain a ton of things for me. Including my complete lack of interest in relationships with other humans.
I always feel like I'm not 'for them', like I'm previously engaged. I'm thinking I am for real. Succubus or thoughtform, I have no clue. I know it's all energetically very possible, so I'm not dismissing any threory here.
I'll eventually post a new topic about it, but I want to do a keyword search and see what I find out first.
Take care, Bro. Take your time, I've been typing like crazy lately.
HAIL FATHER SATAN AND THE POWERS OF HELL!!!!