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I am a drug addict and I need your help

Nihil

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
4
Hello, I am new here and I hope that you won't attack me but try to understand/help me. Few days ago I posted a reddit post I wrote facebook groups.

One guy that read it got in touch with me. He is a JoS supporter. He read it and said to me that I have a serious drug problem. Before this night I thought that drugs helped me spiritually and that I am similar to Crowley.


which he read and again saw that I am in a problem. He is a very smart person with strong spirit wanting to help a fellow Satanist. He directed me to this board and JoS website. I knew about those before but I used another system of belief called chaos magick. There I read that usage of drugs could be helpful when doing rituals. As this person convinced me... I was wrong. Drug usage is actually a characteristic of weak people... Now when I am writing this it is late at night and I been awake for 2 night straight, and I feel hungry and exhausted. I feel like shit. I am all out of amphetamines and the effects are wearing off. I see that the guy that talked with me was right the whole time, the drugs are really going to kill me and are not helping at all. I was/am in delusion and I didn't even realize it. Now in this moment of clarity I will write about my problem... I have been using various sorts of drugs since 2012. I would smoke weed all day, snort speed all day, take DMT /LSD or shrooms, sometime snort a gram of cocaine if I had more money. Each day I would take 5 do 10 different drugs at the same time. I lived that way from early 2012. till late 2013. In 2013. I took some strange chemical called 4-aco-DMT, along with other stuff that I take daily and I got paranoid schizophrenia. I started mixing reality with fiction, I had strong hallucinations and strong delusions from morning till night... I didn't know the difference between reality and the things that are only in my head. I was thinking that I am God and Satan at the same time and that we are living in Holographic Simulated Universe. Suddenly when people didn't understand me and my behaviour I got paranoid and thought that people are trying to kill me... I thought that my father and my mother made plans to kill me, and that if I go out of the house the people in the neighborhood will try to kill me. because "they knew I was Satan". This lasted for several days and it got worse so one day my parents didn't know what to do and they called me an ambulance. I got locked up in mental hospital for 3 months. When I got out the hospital I continued using drugs like nothing happened. Now I take both drugs and very strong anti-psychotic drug Clozapine. Also once a month I got injection of Haloperidol that releases in my body for a month when I go for another injection. So, can you people help me a and how. I will listen to your advice.
 
Recognizing you are in the wrong is the first step towards advancement. There is a way out both from drugs but also towards true spiritual power that does not depend on foolish externalities and is reliable only to the power of the soul.

Granted the misinformation going around, many people are or were in a position similar to yours. The difference is that these people only understand the truth too late. You are lucky to not be in this category.

My advice is to read the http://www.joyofsatan.org website, and then go over to the Satan's library - http://www.satanslibrary.org. I have wrote extensively on the subject of drugs and hallucinogenics. When you understand the errors in them you will be better off to advance and improve.

In regards to existing addiction, maybe medical help is required. If you experience relapse, you need to stay away from these for a while. You may not feel good at first, but after a while of eating and staying in a stable situation, you will improve.

You are nowhere on a spiritual path with any of this, the truth is you are only opening a sink that will destroy you and leave you in a permanent level of unimagible suffering. Hallucinating is not spiritual of a state. Whatever state experienced before is fake and temporary.

You appear to have the common sense to turn back and now is the time. The other path is that you practice some mature control now, and live the rest of your life spiritually advanced and with constant feeling of joy and equillibrium, through meditation.

I am sure others can give additional helpful advice here.
 
Nihil said:

Welcome.

As HP said, you should read the entirety of JoS and learn the truth. It's also important you understand that all other sites which promote meditation and spirituality are a sham. They just promote drugs and use of angelic magic which will fuck you up.

You can try using runes to break free from your addiction. Uruz is a good rune for this.
https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Runic_Kabalah.html
https://www.dropbox.com/s/kbku2e50omithoj/Runic Kabalah Audio CD.rar?dl=1 (here's a mp3 of how to properly vibrate the runes)

I heard a guy say that when he decided to stop smoking, the first 3 days were the hardest. He said if you can manage those 3 days, you'll manage the rest easily. But since nicotine addiction is not the same as this, I think you should seek medical help. If you were addicted to weed(weed is not physically addictive, but it can be psychologically) I'd just tell you to quit cold turkey since your body is not addicted to it. But with the cocktail of drugs you're taking, your body might have serious withdrawal symptoms.

This is your first battle to win on the path to Godhood.
 
You should probably check yourself into drug addiction counselling. Why would you want to be like Crowley the guy lost his entire family fortune and died alone on heroin in a homeless shelter in and out of court.
 
Chaos magic as far I can recall is a system of magick created by Alexander Dugin a virulent anti human communist.
 
Nihil said:
Hello, I am new here and I hope that you won't attack me but try to understand/help me. Few days ago I posted a reddit post I wrote facebook groups.

One guy that read it got in touch with me. He is a JoS supporter. He read it and said to me that I have a serious drug problem. Before this night I thought that drugs helped me spiritually and that I am similar to Crowley.


which he read and again saw that I am in a problem. He is a very smart person with strong spirit wanting to help a fellow Satanist. He directed me to this board and JoS website. I knew about those before but I used another system of belief called chaos magick. There I read that usage of drugs could be helpful when doing rituals. As this person convinced me... I was wrong. Drug usage is actually a characteristic of weak people... Now when I am writing this it is late at night and I been awake for 2 night straight, and I feel hungry and exhausted. I feel like shit. I am all out of amphetamines and the effects are wearing off. I see that the guy that talked with me was right the whole time, the drugs are really going to kill me and are not helping at all. I was/am in delusion and I didn't even realize it. Now in this moment of clarity I will write about my problem... I have been using various sorts of drugs since 2012. I would smoke weed all day, snort speed all day, take DMT /LSD or shrooms, sometime snort a gram of cocaine if I had more money. Each day I would take 5 do 10 different drugs at the same time. I lived that way from early 2012. till late 2013. In 2013. I took some strange chemical called 4-aco-DMT, along with other stuff that I take daily and I got paranoid schizophrenia. I started mixing reality with fiction, I had strong hallucinations and strong delusions from morning till night... I didn't know the difference between reality and the things that are only in my head. I was thinking that I am God and Satan at the same time and that we are living in Holographic Simulated Universe. Suddenly when people didn't understand me and my behaviour I got paranoid and thought that people are trying to kill me... I thought that my father and my mother made plans to kill me, and that if I go out of the house the people in the neighborhood will try to kill me. because "they knew I was Satan". This lasted for several days and it got worse so one day my parents didn't know what to do and they called me an ambulance. I got locked up in mental hospital for 3 months. When I got out the hospital I continued using drugs like nothing happened. Now I take both drugs and very strong anti-psychotic drug Clozapine. Also once a month I got injection of Haloperidol that releases in my body for a month when I go for another injection. So, can you people help me a and how. I will listen to your advice.

"Opening this pathway is also very healing for drug addicts as it naturally induces extreme pleasure. The second vibration is the MAUM mantra. " see ---> https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Crown_Chakra.html
 
Nihil said:
Hello, I am new here and I hope that you won't attack me but try to understand/help me. Few days ago I posted a reddit post I wrote facebook groups.

One guy that read it got in touch with me. He is a JoS supporter. He read it and said to me that I have a serious drug problem. Before this night I thought that drugs helped me spiritually and that I am similar to Crowley.


which he read and again saw that I am in a problem. He is a very smart person with strong spirit wanting to help a fellow Satanist. He directed me to this board and JoS website. I knew about those before but I used another system of belief called chaos magick. There I read that usage of drugs could be helpful when doing rituals. As this person convinced me... I was wrong. Drug usage is actually a characteristic of weak people... Now when I am writing this it is late at night and I been awake for 2 night straight, and I feel hungry and exhausted. I feel like shit. I am all out of amphetamines and the effects are wearing off. I see that the guy that talked with me was right the whole time, the drugs are really going to kill me and are not helping at all. I was/am in delusion and I didn't even realize it. Now in this moment of clarity I will write about my problem... I have been using various sorts of drugs since 2012. I would smoke weed all day, snort speed all day, take DMT /LSD or shrooms, sometime snort a gram of cocaine if I had more money. Each day I would take 5 do 10 different drugs at the same time. I lived that way from early 2012. till late 2013. In 2013. I took some strange chemical called 4-aco-DMT, along with other stuff that I take daily and I got paranoid schizophrenia. I started mixing reality with fiction, I had strong hallucinations and strong delusions from morning till night... I didn't know the difference between reality and the things that are only in my head. I was thinking that I am God and Satan at the same time and that we are living in Holographic Simulated Universe. Suddenly when people didn't understand me and my behaviour I got paranoid and thought that people are trying to kill me... I thought that my father and my mother made plans to kill me, and that if I go out of the house the people in the neighborhood will try to kill me. because "they knew I was Satan". This lasted for several days and it got worse so one day my parents didn't know what to do and they called me an ambulance. I got locked up in mental hospital for 3 months. When I got out the hospital I continued using drugs like nothing happened. Now I take both drugs and very strong anti-psychotic drug Clozapine. Also once a month I got injection of Haloperidol that releases in my body for a month when I go for another injection. So, can you people help me a and how. I will listen to your advice.

Hello and welcome to the groups. I am glad you are finding this out before the damage is so severe that you lose contact with reality and can't be helped.

Anyways I was a former drug user mostly crack and heroin and sometimes other things. Anyways you are going to have to be strong and brave and decide for the God's that you are going to quit all drugs. Think about this would the ancient Egyptian spiritual/political elite do this kind of thing. Would a great hero in a story book do these kinds of drugs. Would the General in an army back in Rome do this. You get my point if not then why should you. Now straighten up soldier and pull yourself up from the ground and fight you can do this I may be very hard for days weeks or even months but think of standing strong and being strong for our God's. Do an RTR too this always helps everything.

It is hard but death is harder to deal with and having to come back. It is hard but prison is harder to deal with. You get my point try to pull yourself up and improve your life. Good luck
 
I didn't read all the posts but I believe phisical activities can cure many things so you should try to do some sports.
 
It's really good to see you here. Welcome to the forums. :)

I have some experience also with drug addiction, mostly using acid, mushrooms, but my problems were mostly with cocaine and ecstasy. I have been clean 17 years with only three singular events of relapsing, just three times but not continuously.

What really helped me was checking into rehab. Because I lived in the city and already saw a psychiatrist at the time, while also going to school in the same center I was getting treatment, I was an out-patient and not a continual patient in rehab. But I find that it really helps to get professional help and treatment, and to share experiences, feelings, thoughts, etc. (as much or as little as you are comfortable) with others who are going through similar struggles. They taught me coping strategies, and to face one's emotions and difficulties with compassion, understanding, patience and kindness towards oneself.

It's not easy to learn new habits of thinking, of action, of routine. But it's just consistent effort and doing it again and again and again.

One day, I just walked away from the partying scene. I was 19 or 20 at the time. I left all my friends behind, even my best friend at the time. I left the clubbing/drug scene and my parents supported me (I am lucky that way.) I already lived at home but was barely there as I was partying so much, everyday, all day.

That might be one hard choice you have to make. To leave everyone and everything you know behind who you used to party with or the old drug-using crowd if you want to better yourself, advance, and live a life free of drugs and intoxicants. There is more out there than the drugs. Far more.
Ask Satan for help in this, and he will guide you. I don't know your exact situation, other than what you wrote here, so talk to Satan, ask for guidance and direction. He will show you the way and help you but you have to pull the legwork, make the effort to change and upkeep the positive habits you learn.

I'm all for rehab, but it's just getting back into the real world and learning coping strategies and dealing with people "normal/non-drug users" and what you do when you run into old friends, acquaintances, dealers, etc. that you used to be best buddies with or saw often when you were using. There's a lot of temptation to just get high "just this one time" so it's important to have a support system in place that doesn't have to do with the old scene and old crowd.

I found that I used a lot of drugs to escape my problems and emotions, and current circumstances. I suggest getting a diary/journal and writing. It's really helpful and cathartic.

Be kind with yourself, be patient and don't push yourself more than you are comfortable. This is not a race to get better emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. It's a process and its length of time differs for everyone.

A lot of difficult emotions and past will come up when you are facing yourself, without the crutch and escape of drug and other intoxicants. Be brave, be courageous. Face your fear but don't run from it. Acknowledge it, and face yourself, a bit at a time, as much as you are comfortable. But not so comfortable that you don't push yourself to get better.

Don't put off these things. Because if you don't face them now, they will come back and pop up later in your life, when you least need it or want it because you got other good stuff going on and everything is running smoothly. Take it from me lol it does happen, sooner or later.

I wish you the best of luck and a full process to getting and staying clean. Hopefully we'll see more of you around here. ^_^
 
HP I need someone to be super realistic with me rn, I started smoking pot around 17 once a week and then it kinda spiritual out of control and now Im in my mid 20's but I dont anything else and I regularly clean my aura and soul. Is there still a chanse I could have permenantly damaged my soul or am I being paranoid?

This is mostly due to my living situation rn and I have mulitple workings I'm doing to get out of the house Im living
 
MoonlessNight666 said:
HP I need someone to be super realistic with me rn, I started smoking pot around 17 once a week and then it kinda spiritual out of control and now Im in my mid 20's but I dont anything else and I regularly clean my aura and soul. Is there still a chanse I could have permenantly damaged my soul or am I being paranoid?

This is mostly due to my living situation rn and I have mulitple workings I'm doing to get out of the house Im living

Glad you realize it's a problem or it was. You won't damage your soul if you don't do it anymore. You are not at the point of no return especially if you realized or realize it is a problem. Do you want to push it though. You don't want to be ever at that point or beyond it. An example is that guy on YouTube who did meth for a bit and was dedicated to Satan he got pretty much taken over by some Reptillian kind of thing and no matter what he did he could not get it off then was begging Demons for help but didn't do nothing in return and now disrespects our God's for not helping. These are the kind of people that are beyond hope but not you. Drugs are a path that doesn't lead anywhere good. Just quit weed and meditate and work on healing. Even if you are around people that use it does that mean you have to yourself. If anything id get serious and summon one of the Demons and explain your situation and really mean it that you want to fix it so the RTR in return show the God's you want to do that and they may help you get in a better situation. This kind of thing warrents that if you are serious. Listen to any advice or help you can get. It is progress be proud in yourself for realizing that you have or had a problem. Now work on doing yoga and Meditate on the pineal focus on loving energy from someone or a Demon that is like being high and much better.

None of you are doomed or beyond hope if you realize you have a problem and seriously want to change and focus on bettering yourself and warfare efforts. You have to be serious and want to change if you want this to work. There is hope so take it and look at the positive and change your programming. No real ss sits around and does drugs thinking they are fine cause they meditate or do warfare or whatever you do to "atone for your sins" see this is the same thinking xtians have when they "sin" ask for forgiveness then go out the next day or week and do the same thing only to ask for forgiveness again. We are better than that. We actually can better ourselves and indeed the whole world.
 
MoonlessNight666 said:
HP I need someone to be super realistic with me rn, I started smoking pot around 17 once a week and then it kinda spiritual out of control and now Im in my mid 20's but I dont anything else and I regularly clean my aura and soul. Is there still a chanse I could have permenantly damaged my soul or am I being paranoid?

This is mostly due to my living situation rn and I have mulitple workings I'm doing to get out of the house Im living
It’s very bad, stop using that shit, of there are people in your house that smoke it you don’t have to smoke it too, that’s retarded.
 
Thank you for all the answers. For those of you that suggested Drug rehab that is not an option. Most of the drug rehabs in my country (Croatia) are Xtian. They teach you that to learn drug you have to accept Christ as your savior... They live in the countryside, pray all day and work all day doing things that help Christianity. For example you will be doing crucifixes made of wood, crosses made of wood and other Xtian shit. Also, another thing - you can't smoke and you can't take medicine. As I have paranoid schizophrenia I NEED to take antipsychotic pills. Without them I would have hallucinations and paranoia all the time. So rehab is not an option.

The other option is mental hospital but that is also not a good option. For those that want to know more, I will describe how is drug addiction getting treated there. There is a section there called "For people addicted to synthetic drugs" People are going to end up in that building for 20-30 times and more, always getting more addicted. For example I was getting a treatment for "marijuana addiction". How do they help you with that? By blocking you, locking you, so you can't get out of that building and can't have visits from friends (so nobody would bring you some drugs), also you can't use your phone. On that department where I was being treated there were 30 people. Only 2 of those were addicted to marijuana and 28 others were addicted to Heroin or Buprenorphine and Methadone, Those two are medical replacements for people addicted to Heroin. Pills that mimic effects of heroin with more present side effects (like vomiting and having bones that hurt you physically). And you know how they treat them? By giving them more Buprenorphine and Methadone! They would tell to doctor "I am feeling sick, I don't feel very well on 35 methadone pills, I felt better when I was taking 40 of them". And doctor would say "OK, I will give you 40 from now on". Next day the guy would tell "I think I would feel better with 43 pills", and the doctor would tell "OK now you will get 43". Most of the people getting treated there are going to use more and more drugs while being there. Some people got there to get marijuana addiction go away and only got addicted to more serious synthetic drugs like Buprenorphine. Some people that are there will snort Buprenorphine each day, and if you are in a room with them you are going to try it and use it too... When medical tehnician gives them drug (in a pill form) they will pretend to have drunk the pill, but in actuallity they will just spit it in their shirt, only to take it from the shirt once they are in their room. They will then take the pill, crush it with a card and then snort it! Those people prefer to snort the drugs instead of taking them orally. And if you are in their room you will snort it with them just because they have some to share, even if you are not addicted to that particular drug.
After a while you will get home addicted to one more drug along with the first (least) serious one. But you will get your synthetic drugs on Doctor's recipe. So now you don't have to get money for weed, you can just take the recipe, go to other doctor, go to Drugstore and get your drug on regular basis. So you don't need to buy your drugs on the streets anymore, your doctor will gladly give you drugs now, because he is getting paid by the company that makes those drugs. So he will only profit if you are still addicted and if you use the drug more and more...
 
Nihil said:
Thank you for all the answers. For those of you that suggested Drug rehab that is not an option. Most of the drug rehabs in my country (Croatia) are Xtian. They teach you that to learn drug you have to accept Christ as your savior... They live in the countryside, pray all day and work all day doing things that help Christianity. For example you will be doing crucifixes made of wood, crosses made of wood and other Xtian shit. Also, another thing - you can't smoke and you can't take medicine. As I have paranoid schizophrenia I NEED to take antipsychotic pills. Without them I would have hallucinations and paranoia all the time. So rehab is not an option.

The other option is mental hospital but that is also not a good option. For those that want to know more, I will describe how is drug addiction getting treated there. There is a section there called "For people addicted to synthetic drugs" People are going to end up in that building for 20-30 times and more, always getting more addicted. For example I was getting a treatment for "marijuana addiction". How do they help you with that? By blocking you, locking you, so you can't get out of that building and can't have visits from friends (so nobody would bring you some drugs), also you can't use your phone. On that department where I was being treated there were 30 people. Only 2 of those were addicted to marijuana and 28 others were addicted to Heroin or Buprenorphine and Methadone, Those two are medical replacements for people addicted to Heroin. Pills that mimic effects of heroin with more present side effects (like vomiting and having bones that hurt you physically). And you know how they treat them? By giving them more Buprenorphine and Methadone! They would tell to doctor "I am feeling sick, I don't feel very well on 35 methadone pills, I felt better when I was taking 40 of them". And doctor would say "OK, I will give you 40 from now on". Next day the guy would tell "I think I would feel better with 43 pills", and the doctor would tell "OK now you will get 43". Most of the people getting treated there are going to use more and more drugs while being there. Some people got there to get marijuana addiction go away and only got addicted to more serious synthetic drugs like Buprenorphine. Some people that are there will snort Buprenorphine each day, and if you are in a room with them you are going to try it and use it too... When medical tehnician gives them drug (in a pill form) they will pretend to have drunk the pill, but in actuallity they will just spit it in their shirt, only to take it from the shirt once they are in their room. They will then take the pill, crush it with a card and then snort it! Those people prefer to snort the drugs instead of taking them orally. And if you are in their room you will snort it with them just because they have some to share, even if you are not addicted to that particular drug.
After a while you will get home addicted to one more drug along with the first (least) serious one. But you will get your synthetic drugs on Doctor's recipe. So now you don't have to get money for weed, you can just take the recipe, go to other doctor, go to Drugstore and get your drug on regular basis. So you don't need to buy your drugs on the streets anymore, your doctor will gladly give you drugs now, because he is getting paid by the company that makes those drugs. So he will only profit if you are still addicted and if you use the drug more and more...

you could try to replace your addiction with a lesser severe addiction, sex, games, food, sport... . I stopped drinking for meditations. Good luck.
 
Nihil said:
Every day do the headstand pose with mantra "MAUM" 18x (or more) into your 7th chakra. Use an affirmation to get rid of your addiction. If you need help making one, let me know.

You can also add Wunjo and/or Ansuz after the headstand + mantra combo.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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