slyscorpion said:

I finally came to the realization about why I was so hung up about my gender and I was talking and ranting about it a lot before even on here sometimes.

I don't find myself really caring for feminine people that much as I just don't relate to it. I am finally willing to admit it to everyone. This is where my problem came in. I am probably not extremely feminine myself even though I am not much like most guys as I am more soft and sensitive. In all relationships though I fufilled the feminine side or role both sexually and in what I do (if indeed relationships have these roles like everyone says) I like both girls and guys who are more masculine. However were a girl to be totally feminine (which is the way most girls seem to act I am frustrated with this cause I do find women sexually pleasing but I find this energy and expression to be a turn off and I am unable to feel sexually attracted to it that easily or seemingly at all) I would not feel any sexual attraction at all. If I cannot connect on an energy level or feel like I am connecting to a person I can get no sexual turn on at all. It is literally somewhat impossible for me to focus on sex at all if I cannot somehow connect with the person. Even in my sexual fantasies with just solo masturbation I have to add the element of connecting with a person to be able to be successful (This is where the problem comes in as I do have four planets in the 8th house and two of them are in Scorpio so I have an above average need for sex and I get kind of unbalanced if after awhile I cannot furfill that with someone) I finally figured out this is why I don't care for most porn and can't get turned on by it not to mention the Jewish vibe in some of it. I just find it either disgusting or too feminine clean not real etc not sure how to say this.

I am wondering if I am actually gay in some way. I like girls and can very much feel turned on sexually by girls but just not people who are feminine in energy much at all. This is the main reason why I was rarely able to get off on having sex with a girl. If a woman is more like the guys in the way she expresses herself or energy I much like it.

This is too the point I cannot get turned on sexually by either genders at all if they are too feminine. I am indeed probably more attracted to women but I wonder if that is just programming because I was bought up in an xtian household where they didn't accept gays.

I also can be really attracted to masculine guys. Not like the mean tough people but more like the Noble warrior type that the ancients referred to as Masculine.

I myself am a little more feminine in the way I act to the point I don't get along with a lot of guys cause they think I am gay or a f@gg0t or whatever and am scared by me.

So what am I at least now I am willing to accept this and face it and not be scared by this realization anymore. I finally figured out what was going on.

This all sucks cause it means I probably won't be able to find a partner that fits what I am looking for. At least not in today's world.

Note I didn't at all bring up the way people dress or fit in the social roles for genders cause I think it's all a bunch of bullshit or dinosaur shit from the Paleolithic age would be a better way to put it.

I am talking about actual feminine and Masculine. I would fit very much the ancients classification of Masucline but be considered feminine by the standards of today maybe totally.

According to the energy I get from the God's when I focus on them I AM completely masculine according to that archatype although I'm not fully sure I'd be attracted to feminine in that sense either at least I would be able to connect with people who lived out the more natural aspects of these energies.

This is my thinking. I don't know if I will find an actual physical human I can relate to this is why I am trying to open up so much but I still have a lot of energy to cleanse from when I fucked around with drugs and stuff. However this kind of thing is the reason I kind of almost still want drugs. To escape from this messed up world where I don't know how to truly relate to anyone no not even my friend who I talked about on a totally deep and meaningful level. Most people on planet Earth have turned into boring and superficial drones who wouldn't know what meaning or depth meant at all even if they were staring at it in the face and don't realize they have no value or meaning cause any value and meaning has to be created by becoming really powerful spiritually and / or doing something really big or important in the material world or both. This whole planet sucks and is superficial and has a lack of meaning.

This is just my thoughts would anyone help me in finding someone or something I can relate to

Click to expand...

slyscorpion said:

I finally came to the realization about why I was so hung up about my gender and I was talking and ranting about it a lot before even on here sometimes.

I don't find myself really caring for feminine people that much as I just don't relate to it. I am finally willing to admit it to everyone. This is where my problem came in. I am probably not extremely feminine myself even though I am not much like most guys as I am more soft and sensitive. In all relationships though I fufilled the feminine side or role both sexually and in what I do (if indeed relationships have these roles like everyone says) I like both girls and guys who are more masculine. However were a girl to be totally feminine (which is the way most girls seem to act I am frustrated with this cause I do find women sexually pleasing but I find this energy and expression to be a turn off and I am unable to feel sexually attracted to it that easily or seemingly at all) I would not feel any sexual attraction at all. If I cannot connect on an energy level or feel like I am connecting to a person I can get no sexual turn on at all. It is literally somewhat impossible for me to focus on sex at all if I cannot somehow connect with the person. Even in my sexual fantasies with just solo masturbation I have to add the element of connecting with a person to be able to be successful (This is where the problem comes in as I do have four planets in the 8th house and two of them are in Scorpio so I have an above average need for sex and I get kind of unbalanced if after awhile I cannot furfill that with someone) I finally figured out this is why I don't care for most porn and can't get turned on by it not to mention the Jewish vibe in some of it. I just find it either disgusting or too feminine clean not real etc not sure how to say this.

I am wondering if I am actually gay in some way. I like girls and can very much feel turned on sexually by girls but just not people who are feminine in energy much at all. This is the main reason why I was rarely able to get off on having sex with a girl. If a woman is more like the guys in the way she expresses herself or energy I much like it.

This is too the point I cannot get turned on sexually by either genders at all if they are too feminine. I am indeed probably more attracted to women but I wonder if that is just programming because I was bought up in an xtian household where they didn't accept gays.

I also can be really attracted to masculine guys. Not like the mean tough people but more like the Noble warrior type that the ancients referred to as Masculine.

I myself am a little more feminine in the way I act to the point I don't get along with a lot of guys cause they think I am gay or a f@gg0t or whatever and am scared by me.

So what am I at least now I am willing to accept this and face it and not be scared by this realization anymore. I finally figured out what was going on.

This all sucks cause it means I probably won't be able to find a partner that fits what I am looking for. At least not in today's world.

Note I didn't at all bring up the way people dress or fit in the social roles for genders cause I think it's all a bunch of bullshit or dinosaur shit from the Paleolithic age would be a better way to put it.

I am talking about actual feminine and Masculine. I would fit very much the ancients classification of Masucline but be considered feminine by the standards of today maybe totally.

According to the energy I get from the God's when I focus on them I AM completely masculine according to that archatype although I'm not fully sure I'd be attracted to feminine in that sense either at least I would be able to connect with people who lived out the more natural aspects of these energies.

This is my thinking. I don't know if I will find an actual physical human I can relate to this is why I am trying to open up so much but I still have a lot of energy to cleanse from when I fucked around with drugs and stuff. However this kind of thing is the reason I kind of almost still want drugs. To escape from this messed up world where I don't know how to truly relate to anyone no not even my friend who I talked about on a totally deep and meaningful level. Most people on planet Earth have turned into boring and superficial drones who wouldn't know what meaning or depth meant at all even if they were staring at it in the face and don't realize they have no value or meaning cause any value and meaning has to be created by becoming really powerful spiritually and / or doing something really big or important in the material world or both. This whole planet sucks and is superficial and has a lack of meaning.

This is just my thoughts would anyone help me in finding someone or something I can relate to

Click to expand...

Dahaarkan said:

The only real way to be sure what you're really into is to try different things with different people.

You might find you are completely uncomfortable having sex with a man.

Click to expand...

Eric13 said:

i dont understand english lol

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