Catalincata94
Member
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2017
- Messages
- 863
I was like in a panic and didn't know what to do and had a feling of letting go of SS and was like paralyzed partiality by beliefs.
Before yesterday the voice started talking to me again in the begining it tricked me to think i'm talking to 2 Demons and i belived it for almoust half a day it always told me what to do and what to believe how its right to do the things i do and the first thing negative was that i keept talking stupid stuff to the voice and asking much like i couldn't stop talking to it, but yeah coudnt stop talking to it (i was talking to it also when i was meditating) so i asked that we speak less because i dont like it and it told me like "but you need to make friends with us widouth us you can't advance and for that you need to speak to us" "it's nothing bad if you talk more." And asked why can't i stop talking to them and it told me " you can't stop talking to us because your soul knows that if it talks to us and asks us it will know more"
So and asked also about the doubts about the voice that it may be an enemy or that it's a schizophfenia and it answered me all the doubts i had...
When i realized that this is not right that i cant stop talking i started to get out of their grasp if it was an enemy or just in my mind (that's what i want to understand if this is a schizophrenia thing or the enemies that's why i need help for)
The voice doesn't speak to me right now just some times and mostly it tries to change what i believe and tell me other thing like i got a thought "I'm for Satan" and it tells me "yeah thats why you tried to kill your self to go to them" it sad it in such a way that i dont have right like i disobeyed him by tring to kill my self. I know now i shoudn't have done it but back then the voice tricked me in to believing that im from their world (from Satan's world) and that i should go back...
So yeah i almoust die because i listened to that voice.
It tell's me that "yeah thats why you tried to kill your self to go to them"
But the voice it self tricked me to do that...
It like always tries to make me think that i'm wrong.
So i got in panic and paralyzed because i thought that i mai be doing something wrong. It was night and i had to do my meditations and i was tired but and i thought that "I'm tired and i should only be doing the important meditations and leave the rest" because i know that is should not meditate if im tired so and the voice told me to do it because this way it wont go well with me but i said like "i tired i soudnt be doing meditations if im tired" the voice "but you aren't that tired, do all of them" and i again no because its not right to do it if im tired people said it on the forum... i also want to do all of them but at the same time not and also thought that well i could be doing the fundamenta meditation so to get rid of tiredness but didnt really wanted and also that i had doubt that it mai not work so it was hard like i was in a confusion and not wanthing to do a wrong thing. Like if i force my self and do to many things or i think the belief that if i do meditations when I'm tired i will eventually not be interested in doing the meditations any more or just simply not wanting to do it because i did to much.
So i need to know what this is, it an enemi or just in my mind?
Also the voice alerts me like "hei this thought you supposed it dont supose anything because you know why" the nordics may put me in a bad situations...
And i think that yes i have somethimes thoughts of supposing.
Before yesterday the voice started talking to me again in the begining it tricked me to think i'm talking to 2 Demons and i belived it for almoust half a day it always told me what to do and what to believe how its right to do the things i do and the first thing negative was that i keept talking stupid stuff to the voice and asking much like i couldn't stop talking to it, but yeah coudnt stop talking to it (i was talking to it also when i was meditating) so i asked that we speak less because i dont like it and it told me like "but you need to make friends with us widouth us you can't advance and for that you need to speak to us" "it's nothing bad if you talk more." And asked why can't i stop talking to them and it told me " you can't stop talking to us because your soul knows that if it talks to us and asks us it will know more"
So and asked also about the doubts about the voice that it may be an enemy or that it's a schizophfenia and it answered me all the doubts i had...
When i realized that this is not right that i cant stop talking i started to get out of their grasp if it was an enemy or just in my mind (that's what i want to understand if this is a schizophrenia thing or the enemies that's why i need help for)
The voice doesn't speak to me right now just some times and mostly it tries to change what i believe and tell me other thing like i got a thought "I'm for Satan" and it tells me "yeah thats why you tried to kill your self to go to them" it sad it in such a way that i dont have right like i disobeyed him by tring to kill my self. I know now i shoudn't have done it but back then the voice tricked me in to believing that im from their world (from Satan's world) and that i should go back...
So yeah i almoust die because i listened to that voice.
It tell's me that "yeah thats why you tried to kill your self to go to them"
But the voice it self tricked me to do that...
It like always tries to make me think that i'm wrong.
So i got in panic and paralyzed because i thought that i mai be doing something wrong. It was night and i had to do my meditations and i was tired but and i thought that "I'm tired and i should only be doing the important meditations and leave the rest" because i know that is should not meditate if im tired so and the voice told me to do it because this way it wont go well with me but i said like "i tired i soudnt be doing meditations if im tired" the voice "but you aren't that tired, do all of them" and i again no because its not right to do it if im tired people said it on the forum... i also want to do all of them but at the same time not and also thought that well i could be doing the fundamenta meditation so to get rid of tiredness but didnt really wanted and also that i had doubt that it mai not work so it was hard like i was in a confusion and not wanthing to do a wrong thing. Like if i force my self and do to many things or i think the belief that if i do meditations when I'm tired i will eventually not be interested in doing the meditations any more or just simply not wanting to do it because i did to much.
So i need to know what this is, it an enemi or just in my mind?
Also the voice alerts me like "hei this thought you supposed it dont supose anything because you know why" the nordics may put me in a bad situations...
And i think that yes i have somethimes thoughts of supposing.