Wotanwarrior wrote:...
I also want to add that when I say ''Don't tie into it'' I mean, don't let it take control over you. Anger is an useful emotion if used correctly and completely denying it would be harmful. Just don't obsess over it, keep yourself busy etc..
What I did, that helped finally get over my on rage was to go through, rather than over or from the side. Basically, instead of lashing out at all the different circumstances and people in my life and pushing the rage down as I did
(again, I didn't know what was going on with me) I embraced it, let it become a part of me and then made my peace with it. Sure I lashed out.. but now I was in control.
Did I hurt people with what I said to them when the anger came? Sure.
I just figured, that if this anger was inevitable, I'd much rather be in control and although, yes, I may hurt people. Atleast I'm doing so in a controlled manner. In my mind, giving a verbal beatdown to someone is a better alternative to physically assaulting someone... everyone. Which -thankfully- never happened.
Going ''through'' was an... Interesting experience to say the least. For a time I stopped caring about anything, sympathy and empathy wise. Just focusing purely on meditations, rtr's and the things that go with them.
I couldn't care less for what I said to people. If someone sad something to me then I retaliated quite brutally in a verbal way. I just didn't care if I hurt their emotions.
It made me this new person and though eventually I got control over my rage as a whole and a steadiness of mind and emotions unlike anything I've ever felt before. Kind of a metamorphosis through rage. It wasn't all smooth sailing all the way to say the least.
Now you can judge me for that if you wish, doesn't really matter. What matters is that it worked and I've also mended relationships with those I hurt.
Now I'm not saying you do exactly that or anything remotely close to that but it's what worked for ME and to myself, I'd say it was worth it.
Could it have been handled better? Of course, though we're not in this thread to discuss morality and the ''right and wrong'' of things.
What I'm trying to say is that with these advanced stages, past aura cleaning and banishing rituals. For those stages which is not written about in the JoS -because let's be honest- there is a whole lot of advancement that is not in the JoS that you need to figure out yourself. There isn't a step by step guide someone can give you to help you through it. Most of it you'll have to find your on solutions. The most anyone here can do is share their experiences.
This is where true independence will start to form, along with a sense of self-assurance.
In the end, it all worked out very nicely.