Joy Of Satan Forums

so i cant seem to balance everything out i have a near full time job and i have no vehicle i have to ride a bike to and fro so that takes extra time out of my day that i could be meditating i also have to clean house everyday and trying to fit the yoga in and rituals all in one day because i know once you start a meditiation you need to keep it going no matter what and its like if i dont keep it up i feel guilt and feel like i ruined all the energy i put into it i have to lose some sleep to fit all this in schedule i even had to cut down from doing aura cleaning and protection and all that twice to once the only thing i can think to do is breath in some energy and program it to help me find the perfect balance of things also ive been feeling extreme confusion and relapsing on drugs i think i may be experiencing some psychic attack i definately noticed it started coming on strong once i made the decision that im going dedicate to lucifers any advice much appreciated i have no satanic support in the material world the only thing besides xians that are in my life is new agers also i know this is kind of straying off topic but what exactly does father satan mean when he says in the al jilwah i do not allow friendly association with other people i mean i have people in my life that are christians yes i know they are delusional but i still care about them and i cant just remove them from my life because they are under enemy control im thinking im not understanding it properly also when he says i punish in another world those who do contrary to my will whats that about it sounds similar to the threats of hell that now im not trying to say thats what he means i just wanna get a clear understanding of what he is trying to say