Here's the logs as promised
Sadly I don't have day 1 - 25 though, as I forgot to write logs
These were directly copy and pasted from my personal logs, sorry for any explicit content, cussing, and / or [DATA EXPUNGED]
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November 19, 2018 – Day 26
Did another standard ritual, I asked Father Satan some questions regarding my past. And asked about my past experiences regarding the enemy, and things I had learned. (Like Reiki)
Aside from that all, I felt this surge of emotion to destroy the enemy today. And even now as I hover between sleep, and being awake, and having done my full schedule. . . I can't help but feel the desire to hunt down the enemy and tear them apart. But, maybe that is my spirit animal (the wolf) channeling itself through me. But still. . ..
My freeing chakras from negative karma working went well today too. It took a little longer than normal for me to start swaying with the rotations of my chakras. My Pineal gland also felt more free today, that makes me happy :)
Before I sign off, here's a literary work I just though up. To my future self, or any soul who is reading this.
The Broken King's Smile
He stood atop the cliff, his sorrow had beat him down.
No longer his kingdom a monolith, dull was his crown.
And yet his son smiled wide, his papa had slain many foes.
They knew nowhere to hide, and they would feed the crows.
“Such a bloody past” Said the dad, looking awful sad
“With zeal I used to brandish my axe” None of them had last
And so the broken king lamented, the passing of his wife. The source of his strife
And with a brutal knife, he. . . Ended. His. Life. . . .
My god, I remember. . I hope this wasn't too dark, but I remember it all a bit better now.
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November 20, 2018 – Day 27
I fell asleep today just after the 15 minute rest I take after Kundalini yoga. And I awoke half an hour later. Tired, and some how full of energy.
As well, my solar chakra feels very active. I'm not sure how to feel about this, but I know it is good :)
I also had a ravenous hunger when I awoke, and ate quite a bit at our town's buffet before this hunger was sated. Even now I can feel this hunger, but it's more of a desire to eat more than a need for calories.
I don't remember any of my dreams from last night, or the nap. . But I do remember sleeping well. I set my Selenite out to charge in the (almost) full moon's light, and will probably do the same tomorrow night too :)
I also tried a sex magic working earlier today, but I couldn't maintain focus on the energy of orgasm and it dissipated through my body in mere seconds. The good news though is I got a better handle of my position on sexuality, though I'm sure I'm not gay XD Still, curiosity drew my in and I tried [DATA EXPUNGED]. I just wish I could locate my prostate as easily as I could locate my former partner's G spot. Sigh
Just did my daily MUNKA working, and it felt good. Like, REALLY good. And I felt mot only the rotations of my chakras, but heat radiating from them too. And my solar chakra still spins in a constant detectable motion, silently humming away as it works. I feel almost good enough to do an extra RTR today :) But, time is short :( So I'll do my Hatha Yoga, and 2 FINAL RTR's and leave you with this.
I'm not sure when I wrote this, and I don't entirely remember writing this. But I find it interesting none the less, so I hope you find some meaning or entertainment in it :)
Moon
The moon was full tonight, and not a soul in sight.
I hobbled home from town, the forest around me shades of brown.
And from my room came an all too familiar tune.
The sound of a doom, nevermore.
I struggled and strained some more, and fell to the floor.
A coat from my flesh arose, and off went my clothes.
Fangs sprang from my mouth, and a roar rang through my house.
Long live the beast, let's start the feast.
I ran through dark, through night itself.
Clawing my mark, into the tree bark.
Howling at the moon, like a bafoon.
And when I awoke, I remembered a single quote.
“Morality is subjective, be the best person you can be.”
And so I dressed myself, and looked of wealth
Put on my shoes, with nothing to lose
And kissed my wife, who was clutching a knife
And I looked to the sun as I walked back to town
“Why must I suffer as a monster, when monsters in the shape of men live lavish lives?”
And with the day gone, as it had always been.
I arose, and struck a familiar pose.
Moon, oh Luna, deliver unto me forgiveness. And give me strength to live as a man, in the shape of a monster.
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November 21, 2018 – Day 28
Burnt my hand today while making dinner, I forgot how hot steam can get. At least it was a 1st degree burn though, I also found out coconut oil works for 1st degree burns too. .. But alas, I went and got aloe gel just in case. Pain's gone for the most part, but it's still tender :(
I reeeeealy don't want to do my daily schedule, but I have to sigh. At least I have tomorrow and the next few days off work though. Though it will be a VoC moon ALL day tomorrow, and that makes me rather sad considering the implications of purchasing something on sale at our local store :/
I'm also torn between the 'City of Heat and Clockwork' aesthetic, and the 'City of Eternal Night' aesthetic that I view the wold through. Though, either one leaves me in a state of bliss outside of spiritual warfare. As well, I've felt more 'bio-mechanical' again lately. Perhaps it's my past, and my present self merging into one. But then again, it could just be the way I'm hard wired to run by routine. I mean, I get compliments all the time about my work when I'm on the job. They always remark at my speed, and how I'm 'better' than the person I'm replacing (or filling in for). Either way, I'm glad I took welding a few years ago.
. . .. Still, as far as I know I have a soul. And I have no machine parts in me. But it does make me wonder about robots being an imitation of life. Maybe one day I can speak with someone more intimately involved with such a topic. I mean, sufficiently advanced AI would technically have a 'soul' right?
Also, my hunger dulled from what it was yesterday. Now I'm back to eating normally. And lastly, my roommates have plans for tomorrow. So I plan to do the Thanksgiving ritual at around 4 in the afternoon. Maybe later? The one room mate will be gone until Sunday though, so I have plenty of time to myself without him.
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November 22, 2018 – Day 29
Thanksgiving was tiring, and I don't remember much (I'm writing this on the 23rd). But it wasn't bad. I got a printer for cheap, so now I can print out new routines and workings at will :) I also did the Thanksgiving ritual, and while it was a bit awkward I am getting better at doing rituals.
I'm also losing weight again, but that's good as I've still got some pounds of fat to shed. Also, while I was doing the MUNKA working last night my lower chakras felt warm. Not just spiritually either, but in the physical sense. I asked Father Satan about this during my ritual, and he said it's fine. My Kundalini was close to rising in a past life, and I'm just going to raise it soon. But soon is years or further from now, so I'm not too worried.
He also said things about my career I'll eventually settle into when I'm older, something about politics. And possibly leading people.
I've also fallen back a bit when it comes to my sexuality, I want to find a partner sometime. Even if they're just a companion, I feel a little lonely :( He asked about that too, he knew something was bothering me.
All in all though, things are looking up :) And I did 5 FINAL RTRs yesterday, 4 for the day. And 1 to make up for the 21st when I was too tired to do my regular 2 :/
No poems or stories today, maybe later though :)
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November 23, 2018 – Day 30
Tired. . . And don't want to do anything today X(
I've put off all my stuff till now, and I'm going to have to force myself to do all the stuff.
I've also felt extremely horny all day, and have masturbated at least 3 times. And tomorrow I have a family reunion, I'm not ready for it :( Need to get my head straight, need to do what I must do.
Just did the MUNKA working, and I feel a bit better. Though I still feel bloated from dinner 4 hours ago :/ The heat wasn't as noticeable as it was the other day too.
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November 24, 2018 – Day 31
Lost 7 hours today to family business (the dinner and all), but I got to see my grandparents :) Just did my yoga too, but now I don't want to do my MUNKA working, or RTRs :/ But I'll force myself to do them
I was told I'm being a little too over zealous by my current GD Bune, and was reminded of the night I dedicated. I was so excited and full of the want to become a SS that I ignored the pain I was inflicting on myself to get more blood to write my name. She told me “Go at your own pace” and reminded me to breathe too
The MUNKA working went well, but I could tell my bio-electricity has went down a bit. Aside from that, the heat in my lower chakras is still there. That makes me happy :)
I also feel a deeper connection now with some of my fictional characters, especially 'Alex'. In a way he reflects the worst I could go through that I'm aware of, and yet his smile is still wide.
It's weird talking to our gods too, I always thought their voices would be like vocal, disembodied voices. But as far as I've experienced it, they talk through thoughts and through our minds. Almost as if they are a person's conscious / voice of reason. For example, I talked to Astaroth during the Thanksgiving ritual and apologized for an act I did before I was dedicated. And I was answered immediately with 'It's alright, you were well intentioned.' It's strange, and best of all too is I'm getting used to Father Satan's energy and voice. At first I heard more of a 'typical devil's voice', and now he sounds more like a person I'd talk to in my daily life.
And his energy is calm, and warming. But soft and gentle. He seems to 'visit' me too every now and then, and it makes me happy knowing he sees my progress.
I hope I'm doing good to them, it's not a lot I do daily. But it's having a noticeable change on my life for the better :)
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November 25, 2018 – Day 32
I've just been tired all day, and spent most of the day playing games :/ The MUNKA working went well, but I'm afraid I've wasted nearly all of my holiday free time :(
Doing the Final RTRs now, but I don't know how much I'll do afterwards. I need to force myself to keep going
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November 26, 2018 – Day 33
Heat, so much heat. My lower chakras feel almost as if they're on fire, or filled with fire. Though it's not painful, and feels quite pleasant.
I feel filled with energy too, but not in a 'rush of energy' sort of way. Just filled with potential energy. I still get tired and all
I've felt quite horny lately too, and have been easily aroused. I'm going to have a great time just before bed : )
The MUNKA working went quite well today, the heat and power I felt was incredible. But as I it slowly ebbed after the working ended, though I can still feel my solar chakra silently humming with energy. Something's happening, I can feel it : )
Jester of his majesty's court.
Spinning spinning round and round, the world spins like a whirlpool.
Though unlike most, I invest my time. For I am no fool.
I sharpen my mind, and prepare my blade. To make the perfect tool.
My will is strong, and soul becoming stronger. I act in public as a fool.
Wine fills the glass, poison fills the cup. The stage fills with lights.
Round and round the carousel spins, dizzying grow the heights.
The king dumps the glass, I spill the cup. The plot has been thwarted.
Round and round the carousel spins, arrive do the knights.
Tick, tock, tick, tock. And the clock fails to strike.
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November 27, 2018 – Day 34
Feeling hot inside, the heat feels pretty good though. It makes me happy funny enough, I've never been given such a blatant example of my progression so far. So it's good to know I'm doing good :)
Did a standard ritual today, making it a once a week working. I was requested to do an extra final RTR today too, so I did. It made my GD happy :) Feeling a little under the weather too, but it could just be the temperature fluctuations lately. It was -7 out this morning, that's damn COLD for barely the start of December.
The Munka working went well, I felt pretty good after it. I'm planning to extend it to 50 days now. I'm also procrastinating by writing this, I should go and finish my yoga :/
But aside from that all, it's 3 steps forward. No steps back today :D
No poems or such today, sorry. I'm a little creatively drained . . . But maybe I'll make it up to you in a future post :)
Good night.
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November 28, 2018 – Day 35
So much heat, and so much energy. My entire being is filled with electric blue and red fire, and I feel the power of my chakras as they are freed. Though there is still A LOT of work to be done.
I have next to no free time too, but will be doing a full chakra meditation each day from now on (for the specific chakra of the day of course) This isn't much, but with my limited schedule it's better than nothing :)
End of the Line
And on the seventh day, he sat in dismay. The tower had not fallen.
And gathered did his foes, with all of his woes. As they began to call him.
The letters of his name began to fade, a language soon forgotten.
He cried to the clock, the universe itself. As they began to call him.
The enemy 'king' dropped his ring, and it shattered on the ground.
He muttered and cried as he died. Trying to drown out the sound.
Tick, tick, tick. Click. BONG. Rang the bell, BONG once more, and with each subsequent BONG of the clock. He would be no more. BONG, repeated the crowd. BONG cried the crows. BONG rang out as if it were not even a sound. BONG once more, BONG thrice more. BONG one more time, and BONG one last time. The clock struck 12, and chiming had ended. All who had lost loved ones, all who had died, all began to cry.
The enemy king had been slain, and now his name would not even be said in vain. Dawn soon approached, a wonderous light. Forward came the creators, this was the end of this fight.
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November 29, 2018 – Day 36
A little tired as I write this (probably from dinner), but otherwise everything is going well. The MUNKA working was good, though the heat I was feeling has dialed back a bit. Me and Bune were discussing symbols and sigils before this.
The rest of my workings and routine went well today too, though this morning I woke up late. I'm excited to study more about crystals and crystal grids for sure though. Maybe I can make a better protective grid with new knowledge about what crystals do what, and why.
Prince of the Midnight
She smiled wide, her eyes shined bright. A sword lay in her hand.
He knelt before her, their souls intertwined. Yet different colored their bands
Crimson red flowed through his veins, and pure gold/white through hers.
She lifted up the blade, and with bright blue/orange eyes freed him from the curse.
Her eyes both purple, and so were his. The energy flowed fourth.
His mind raced faster, and her heart pounded harder. As they began to merge.
Higher self and lower self, both began to meld. Burning out the sickness that had tried to live and dwell
A soul once split began to remember, and stood draped in red.
Purple shone his eyes, as he saw his enemy dead.
He stepped fourth, and knelt at the throne. His king was sitting in.
And from that day, the demons say. “We greeted him as kin”
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November 30, 2018 – Day 37
God fucking damnit, I got sucked into my videogames and neglected to do my yoga :/ I still did the MUNKA working and a Final RTR, but that was about it.
Work also sucked today, but I pulled through it.
Nothing else notable, sorry :(
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December 1, 2018 – Day 38
Fixed my phone and went to the nearby city, and visited the shop. It has turned into a 'normie' or 'hipster' shop now, and I hated the experience. But I did learn my old friends opened up a new shop, so I'm leaving the corpse of the old shop to it's own devices. Maybe I can talk to my friend about building crystal grids.
Had Chinese for dinner too, but I'm afraid I failed to satiate my craving for food, as I only had 2 buffet plates instead of 3-4. My solar chakra and gut growled for more. I'm sure I'm burning more calories for energy now too, my weight hasn't shifted much in the past few weeks despite my eating habits.
The MUNKA working was dreadful to me, I just didn't want to do it. But I can feel my chakras better now, so I know I did it right even as I was pass out tired.
My room mates also had company over, she was cute. But I knew she was just a fuck buddy :/
Aside from that, they also offered my a drag on their joint tonight. But I politely declined and burned some dragons blood incense.
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December 2, 2018 – Day 39
Went on a date today, it did not go as I thought it would. So I patiently waited until the 3rd hour of our date to say goodbye, and politely left. She was a xian all but in name, and a progressive too. Both someone I cannot be with. She was nice though, I hope she finds a nice guy.
Aside from spending hours wasted on the date, I did get some fireworks for my birthday soon. And the MUNKA working went well, but I did also put it off until 10 P.M. :/
Lilly's gift
Apples filled the orchard, and so did the pears.
A little deer ran by, and so did the hares.
The knight sat down under a tree, and picked up an apple.
Soft it was not, and whole was the apple.
He took a bite and savored the flavor, a delicious sweet treat.
He stared at the deer, and got to his feet.
A flower stand sat at the edge of the orchard, without it's master.
And cautiously he walked, yet somewhat slightly faster.
A deer in an apron waved from a tree, and stunned was he as he said “It cannot be”.
The deer (Lilly) climbed down, onto the ground. “Hello, would you like to barter?”.
A look did he take, yet pound his heart did. Harder.
Lilly sold him a rose, an eternal rose. For 2 gold coins.
He continued on, having gone. Far to long without journey.
But clever Lilly, made sure he. Would live for an Eternity.
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December 3, 2018 – Day 40
Done with the working! :D Though I will do an additional 10 days because it has worked so well. The working went smooth and easily today, no major changes.
Don't really feel like writing much more. So I'm going to FINALLY play some well deserved Borderlands, and get some sleep.
Goodnight :)
- Also increased Final RTRs for the time being, from 2 to 3. (Sorry HP for not making it 4 :/ )
I was just too tired after going hard on astro and had to prioritize my other daily meditations. But, as I had previously completed 40 days of higher reps with Ansuz in each chakra for the same purpose, I wasn't too upset. Also, I've done a lot of regular freeing soul workings over the past 8 years so it's fine 
And i'm probabily way less busy than you. Anyway we can agree that it's a good working 
