DreamWeaver
Member
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2021
- Messages
- 64
I've been studying the JOS website for a few years now. I keep reading that people prone to seizures are not recommended to practice raising the kundalini, nor the power meditations that increase bio-electricity. I appreciate the warning, but I feel at a loss in my potential as a spiritual Satanist.
For my safety I kept it very vague, whenever I mentioned regards to my health. But I now feel the need to share and inquire. I've had epilepsy since I was an infant, and had 8 seizures at different times over the years to present day. After 3 grand mal seizures in 2021, I now fear my seizures more than I fear people, animals, or bad spirits. But I have enough mental resilience to continue living and improve my well-being.
What I am wondering though, is what does it mean when an infant has so much bio-electricity?
Is it purely a physiological matter, or was I born spiritually powerful?
I have always been interested in the occult and spiritual subjects of life and death.
Had a few legit witch moments as a child, too.
I have a cyst in my frontal lobe, but I had a night terror/sleep-walking stair-fall accident in 2017, so it is impossible to tell if I had this cyst since birth or from that accident. So the cyst can explain a lot about my personality (overall good, just struggle emotionally with how unfair life and people can be) and epilepsy.
During one seizure in 2017, I had a near-death out-of-body experience, my astral body being carried to where my body was in a hospital. Two spiritual beings carried me by my arms, and my astral body felt so exhausted, too weak to turn to look at who they were.
On September 22, 2021, I had an epileptic aura, held off the seizure, called an ambulance and went outside to it myself. Then seized in the ambulance after I distressfully explained why I called. I woke up to this painting (my avatar) on the ceiling panel above me in the emergency department. It was a beautiful, long wavy haired, pale-skinned woman. I knew it was Lilith. My initial connection to her, was my respect for her as being one of the first feminists to walk away from an unworthy man. Over time, I began telepathically hearing a gentle, motherly voice. It is so quiet, because the gods know I would dread wondering if I am or if I became schizophrenic.
But anyway, I also have come to realize the much bigger picture as to /why/ I have epilepsy and /why/ I have this anti-convulsant pill. My epilepsy made my parents protect me from people taking advantage of me while seizing or unconscious. My epilepsy made my parents read books to me at a young age, why I am so good with words. As cursed as it feels, I realize it is part of Satan's plan for me in this incarnation.
My medication is meant to prevent psychiatrists from ruining me with prescription drugs incompatible with this anti-convulsant. It is to prevent me from mentally falling apart over the emotional and mental pain people have caused me over the years... I say this, because it also treats bipolar and schizophrenia in other people. So I might be killing 3 birds with one stone and not know it. I am so blessed by Father Satan and empowered by Mother Lilith. I know what the end of my life will most likely involve. But for now I will enjoy life and continue my spiritual studies.
I do want to have the power of meditation to heal me of my epilepsy, but it is too risky for me to quit my medication. I tried and had a seizure. Too many doctors these days are incompetent as to how to naturally remedy epilepsy. I just hope my epilepsy does not make me any less of a spiritual Satanist.
For my safety I kept it very vague, whenever I mentioned regards to my health. But I now feel the need to share and inquire. I've had epilepsy since I was an infant, and had 8 seizures at different times over the years to present day. After 3 grand mal seizures in 2021, I now fear my seizures more than I fear people, animals, or bad spirits. But I have enough mental resilience to continue living and improve my well-being.
What I am wondering though, is what does it mean when an infant has so much bio-electricity?
Is it purely a physiological matter, or was I born spiritually powerful?
I have always been interested in the occult and spiritual subjects of life and death.
Had a few legit witch moments as a child, too.
I have a cyst in my frontal lobe, but I had a night terror/sleep-walking stair-fall accident in 2017, so it is impossible to tell if I had this cyst since birth or from that accident. So the cyst can explain a lot about my personality (overall good, just struggle emotionally with how unfair life and people can be) and epilepsy.
During one seizure in 2017, I had a near-death out-of-body experience, my astral body being carried to where my body was in a hospital. Two spiritual beings carried me by my arms, and my astral body felt so exhausted, too weak to turn to look at who they were.
On September 22, 2021, I had an epileptic aura, held off the seizure, called an ambulance and went outside to it myself. Then seized in the ambulance after I distressfully explained why I called. I woke up to this painting (my avatar) on the ceiling panel above me in the emergency department. It was a beautiful, long wavy haired, pale-skinned woman. I knew it was Lilith. My initial connection to her, was my respect for her as being one of the first feminists to walk away from an unworthy man. Over time, I began telepathically hearing a gentle, motherly voice. It is so quiet, because the gods know I would dread wondering if I am or if I became schizophrenic.
But anyway, I also have come to realize the much bigger picture as to /why/ I have epilepsy and /why/ I have this anti-convulsant pill. My epilepsy made my parents protect me from people taking advantage of me while seizing or unconscious. My epilepsy made my parents read books to me at a young age, why I am so good with words. As cursed as it feels, I realize it is part of Satan's plan for me in this incarnation.
My medication is meant to prevent psychiatrists from ruining me with prescription drugs incompatible with this anti-convulsant. It is to prevent me from mentally falling apart over the emotional and mental pain people have caused me over the years... I say this, because it also treats bipolar and schizophrenia in other people. So I might be killing 3 birds with one stone and not know it. I am so blessed by Father Satan and empowered by Mother Lilith. I know what the end of my life will most likely involve. But for now I will enjoy life and continue my spiritual studies.
I do want to have the power of meditation to heal me of my epilepsy, but it is too risky for me to quit my medication. I tried and had a seizure. Too many doctors these days are incompetent as to how to naturally remedy epilepsy. I just hope my epilepsy does not make me any less of a spiritual Satanist.