Latest News

Welcome to our New Forums!

Our forums have been upgraded and expanded!
Register

Welcome to Our New Forums

  • Our forums have been upgraded! You can read about this HERE

Anxiety is really fucking with me

S

Serpentine

New member
Joined
May 10, 2018
Messages
73
I feel like an idiot. I just had some people come to my house for a repair and the whole time I was shaking uncontrollably, my voice was shaking and I couldn’t think. My face was red and my heart was thumping so hard I’m sure they could hear it. I gave wrong information because it was quicker to say and I just kept making it worse for myself. The second they left the house I broke down into tears and haven’t stopped crying.

I had to quit my dream job because I kept getting anxiety attacks and even ended up crying in front of a bunch of people. I’ve been so scared to try and get back into the field again and haven’t been able to keep a job since.

I have no friends and I feel totally alone. I’m posting now because I just really need someone to talk to and I don’t know what to do. I’m not living the full life I want. I feel trapped in my house. Even when I’m home I’m distracting myself from worrying.

I’ve been strongly considering therapy, I don’t know how to start getting comfortable around people but I’m nervous at what might come of it. It’s so hard to focus on the bigger picture and what’s going on in the world when I’m scared to leave my house.

I’m sure I can find some rune to vibrate and work harder at Yoga... but like I said I just needed to reach out because how I feel right now really sucks.
 
What helped me out immensely with anxiety is when I read a post by HP Hoodedcobra, it was something along the lines of: “ Anxiety is a way of telling you that you are not being yourself, or in harmony with yourself” not the exact words but you get the point.
So maybe you are acting in a way that is not true to your trueself?
 
Did you get one of our astrologers to read your chart yet? It's difficult to fix an issue that you don't know the roots of. If you have some money it's more than worth it to order a reading for yourself. I would recommend Lydia's full natal chart reading for a start, as HP. Hoodedcobra666 has his one closed currently due to a high amount of orders.

As a general notion, working with the energies of the Sun can very often fix these kinds of issues. Looking at your current condition I would recommend just vibrating the spiritual mantra of the Sun, "AUM HRAAM HRIM HRAUM SAU SURYAE SVAHA" for a low amount of repetitions every day, and stating an affirmation to help you gain more confidence.

A working like this should be started on a Sunday during the hour of the Sun, preferrably. You can check the current planetary hour at https://lunarium.co.uk/planets/hours.jsp
Be aware that planetary hours are location specific, so for accurate information you have to choose the location that is closest to your physical one.

As for how many times to vibrate the mantra, it doesn't need to be overly high. The most important thing that I have found is that, with the planetary mantras, it's sooo much better to vibrate them while really dragging out each vibration. You vibrate each word slowly and powerfully, without rushing. Even if you do a low amount of reps, it will still be very powerful if you vibrate it all slowly and strongly, as opposed to quickly rushing through it.
I would recommend vibrating it for 8, 10, 16, 18 or 36 reps depending on how much you can comfortably do. Even just 8 reps done powerfully and thoroughly will have a lot of effect. State your affirmation 18 times.

Also, therapy and mental hospitals are a death sentence. Stay away from them at all costs as they are designed to make your problems worse, not to fix them. Almost all mental issues can and will be fixed through meditation and workings.

I wish you the best of luck. You can do it. :)
 
Aquarius said:
What helped me out immensely with anxiety is when I read a post by HP Hoodedcobra, it was something along the lines of: “ Anxiety is a way of telling you that you are not being yourself, or in harmony with yourself” not the exact words but you get the point.
So maybe you are acting in a way that is not true to your trueself?
Click to expand...

I feel like I’ve lost my identity tbh. I no longer know how or who to be in front of people. Now the only thing that helps is being 100% non confrontational and overly nice even when I shouldn’t be. I didn’t always have this issue, I use to be be described as obnoxious and hyper. I had tons of friends and would talk to strangers regularly.

I really think all of this happened after I turned bongiloid for a few years. Bare with me as I over share.

I got my dream job during a time I didn’t smoke. I had no issues and overcame all my little anxieties. And about 6 months in I turned into a huge stoner. I mean like high every second of every day, doing wax in such high quantities I’d get sick and throw up. It was like a hard drug to me. When I didn’t get high first thing in the morning I started getting anxiety attacks. Then after about two years smoking daily paranoia set in. I was convinced someone was going to kill me, I became so wary of strangers I thought people passing me in the grocery store would reach out and stab me. I couldn’t even escape it in my dreams. I started hallucinating and began losing my grip on reality. Anxiety started taking over and a some point in this I quit my job. Then I began losing my identity. I no longer felt attached to my name and wanted a new one. I didn’t know anything about myself. I had zero control over my emotions and would cry or get extremely angry. Yet at the time I had no idea this was from weed. I just kept smoking.

I went on the yahoo groups for the first time after being a Satanist for nearly two years... and first thing I saw was a post on Marijuana. Turned my life around. Everything I was experiencing was explained in that post and I was ready to quit cold turkey. Next day I told my bf I was done and marijuana was destroying me and he flipped. He’d been under the impression marijuana was a harmless drug and he’d wean of it one day when he hit a point in his spirituality. Que constant fighting for months until we both quit about a year later. During this I slowly lost all my friends.

I’ve been left feeling like a shell of a person ever since. Before hand I was a little shy, but warmed up quick and I had a sense of purpose. Now I feel broken, scared and lost. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve stopped smoking and I haven’t bounced back. I’ve read bout permanent damage from weed and I’m almost convinced I ruined myself. One top of all of this I’ve also developed depression.

I haven’t had anyone but my bf to talk to about this but it’s hard since he has had zero negative affects from the marijuana and hasn’t dealt with severe anxiety and depression. So I’m left feeling a bit misunderstood.

I’m sorry for the long reply I’m getting anxious about just spewing all this out in a text post. I feel like its a bit much but I keep bottling everything up and I feel like I’m gonna explode.

Thank you for the reply
 
Shael said:
Did you get one of our astrologers to read your chart yet? It's difficult to fix an issue that you don't know the roots of. If you have some money it's more than worth it to order a reading for yourself. I would recommend Lydia's full natal chart reading for a start, as HP. Hoodedcobra666 has his one closed currently due to a high amount of orders.

As a general notion, working with the energies of the Sun can very often fix these kinds of issues. Looking at your current condition I would recommend just vibrating the spiritual mantra of the Sun, "AUM HRAAM HRIM HRAUM SAU SURYAE SVAHA" for a low amount of repetitions every day, and stating an affirmation to help you gain more confidence.

A working like this should be started on a Sunday during the hour of the Sun, preferrably. You can check the current planetary hour at https://lunarium.co.uk/planets/hours.jsp
Be aware that planetary hours are location specific, so for accurate information you have to choose the location that is closest to your physical one.

As for how many times to vibrate the mantra, it doesn't need to be overly high. The most important thing that I have found is that, with the planetary mantras, it's sooo much better to vibrate them while really dragging out each vibration. You vibrate each word slowly and powerfully, without rushing. Even if you do a low amount of reps, it will still be very powerful if you vibrate it all slowly and strongly, as opposed to quickly rushing through it.
I would recommend vibrating it for 8, 10, 16, 18 or 36 reps depending on how much you can comfortably do. Even just 8 reps done powerfully and thoroughly will have a lot of effect. State your affirmation 18 times.

Also, therapy and mental hospitals are a death sentence. Stay away from them at all costs as they are designed to make your problems worse, not to fix them. Almost all mental issues can and will be fixed through meditation and workings.

I wish you the best of luck. You can do it. :)
Click to expand...

Thank you for the info, I’ve wanted to get a reading for so long now! I have a few “bad” degrees in my chart in some more critical areas and I have no idea what they mean.

Everything I’ve seen on here has been pretty anti professional help. I start swaying toward it when everything looks really hopeless. I guess I don't have much faith in myself to get my shit together.

Posting on here already helped a lot more than I expected so I think I’ll just need to keep up posting and engaging with everyone here.
 
Sleepy said:
Aquarius said:
What helped me out immensely with anxiety is when I read a post by HP Hoodedcobra, it was something along the lines of: “ Anxiety is a way of telling you that you are not being yourself, or in harmony with yourself” not the exact words but you get the point.
So maybe you are acting in a way that is not true to your trueself?
Click to expand...

I feel like I’ve lost my identity tbh. I no longer know how or who to be in front of people. Now the only thing that helps is being 100% non confrontational and overly nice even when I shouldn’t be. I didn’t always have this issue, I use to be be described as obnoxious and hyper. I had tons of friends and would talk to strangers regularly.

I really think all of this happened after I turned bongiloid for a few years. Bare with me as I over share.

I got my dream job during a time I didn’t smoke. I had no issues and overcame all my little anxieties. And about 6 months in I turned into a huge stoner. I mean like high every second of every day, doing wax in such high quantities I’d get sick and throw up. It was like a hard drug to me. When I didn’t get high first thing in the morning I started getting anxiety attacks. Then after about two years smoking daily paranoia set in. I was convinced someone was going to kill me, I became so wary of strangers I thought people passing me in the grocery store would reach out and stab me. I couldn’t even escape it in my dreams. I started hallucinating and began losing my grip on reality. Anxiety started taking over and a some point in this I quit my job. Then I began losing my identity. I no longer felt attached to my name and wanted a new one. I didn’t know anything about myself. I had zero control over my emotions and would cry or get extremely angry. Yet at the time I had no idea this was from weed. I just kept smoking.

I went on the yahoo groups for the first time after being a Satanist for nearly two years... and first thing I saw was a post on Marijuana. Turned my life around. Everything I was experiencing was explained in that post and I was ready to quit cold turkey. Next day I told my bf I was done and marijuana was destroying me and he flipped. He’d been under the impression marijuana was a harmless drug and he’d wean of it one day when he hit a point in his spirituality. Que constant fighting for months until we both quit about a year later. During this I slowly lost all my friends.

I’ve been left feeling like a shell of a person ever since. Before hand I was a little shy, but warmed up quick and I had a sense of purpose. Now I feel broken, scared and lost. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve stopped smoking and I haven’t bounced back. I’ve read bout permanent damage from weed and I’m almost convinced I ruined myself. One top of all of this I’ve also developed depression.

I haven’t had anyone but my bf to talk to about this but it’s hard since he has had zero negative affects from the marijuana and hasn’t dealt with severe anxiety and depression. So I’m left feeling a bit misunderstood.

I’m sorry for the long reply I’m getting anxious about just spewing all this out in a text post. I feel like its a bit much but I keep bottling everything up and I feel like I’m gonna explode.

Thank you for the reply
Click to expand...
I see I see, that’s some shitty stuff that happened to you.
The advice of shael is good, you can start that working on one of these sundays since sun will be in a favorable position, check the calendar: https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=14198&hilit=Calendar
For an affirmation you can use: I am totally and permanently healed from all damage caused by drugs in the most beneficial and happy way for me.
Modify it as you wish.
At the same time you may want to strengthen your solar chakra too, use the raum mantra, start off with 9 reps if you need to and add more when you feel comfortable.
Void meditation is really important, not like doing it for 5 minutes without even trying and fantasizing the whole time, but really concentrated, in your daily life you should try to be more concentrated.
Do this for even 90 days straight.
Tell us the results later:)
 
Hi Sleepy. A close relative of mine had the same problems as you, and it was caused by weed. Apparently, and he had brain scans for proof, weed can definitely affect some people in very bad ways.

Do cleaning, aura and chakras, 2-3 times a day. Work on your chakras, even just small reps, like 8 reps daily into them. Try Wunjo rune, even just low reps, what you can manage, and affirm something like "In beneficial ways for me, I am now completely free from the negative effects of marijuana, and I am healing in every way".

And yes, engaging in these forums and with members here will help you as well :)

https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Odin.html
 
Sleepy"and first thing I saw was a post on Marijuana. Turned my life around. Everything I was experiencing was explained in that post and I was ready to quit cold turkey. Next day I told my bf I was done and marijuana was destroying me and he flipped. He’d been under the impression marijuana was a harmless drug and he’d wean of it one day when he hit a point in his spirituality. Que constant fighting for months until we both quit about a year later. During this I slowly lost all my friends. ... I haven’t had anyone but my bf to talk to about this but it’s hard since he has had zero negative affects from the marijuana and hasn’t dealt with severe anxiety and depression. So I’m left feeling a bit misunderstood. [/quote said:
*hug* Even though part of me says druggies dont deserve compassion..
Anyway I guess your bf has not done the amount of drugs you've done.
And being a dedicated SS, makes you a target especially when doing drugs.

I dont know of anything to say to you about this other than to wish you the best.

You do need to meditate and work on protecting yourself (AoP). Drugs are harmful to you on the astral, weaking you and tearing holes in your aura.. Such damages can take quite some time to overcome, however, I think that above all you shouldnt think or say to damage that it is permanent. Even if you have to move a mountain the size of Mt Everest, dont say that it is impossible.
Click to expand...
 
Also read the works of Commander Lincoln Rockwell and the Mein Kampf, that will set you straight! Lol
You can find Rockwell’s book:” White power” on Satan’s library.
 
Lunar Dance 666 said:
*hug* Even though part of me says druggies dont deserve compassion..
Anyway I guess your bf has not done the amount of drugs you've done.
And being a dedicated SS, makes you a target especially when doing drugs.

I dont know of anything to say to you about this other than to wish you the best.

You do need to meditate and work on protecting yourself (AoP). Drugs are harmful to you on the astral, weaking you and tearing holes in your aura.. Such damages can take quite some time to overcome, however, I think that above all you shouldnt think or say to damage that it is permanent. Even if you have to move a mountain the size of Mt Everest, dont say that it is impossible.
Click to expand...
Your replies are always a pleasure to read :)
 
Shael said:
Lunar Dance 666 said:
*hug* Even though part of me says druggies dont deserve compassion..
Anyway I guess your bf has not done the amount of drugs you've done.
And being a dedicated SS, makes you a target especially when doing drugs.

I dont know of anything to say to you about this other than to wish you the best.

You do need to meditate and work on protecting yourself (AoP). Drugs are harmful to you on the astral, weaking you and tearing holes in your aura.. Such damages can take quite some time to overcome, however, I think that above all you shouldnt think or say to damage that it is permanent. Even if you have to move a mountain the size of Mt Everest, dont say that it is impossible.
Click to expand...
Your replies are always a pleasure to read :)
Click to expand...

Aw ty :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
Very grateful for any advice you may have
Replies
6
Views
409
Fuchs
Fuchs
L
If I call them, do they hear me?
Replies
4
Views
202
AFODO
AFODO
darkfeminine
is there anyone i could reach or be willing to give me an elaborate in depth analysis of my birth chart?
Replies
5
Views
436
Blitzkreig [JG]
Blitzkreig [JG]
AskSatanOperator
Question #4068: Pentecostal Christians and “words of knowledge”/healings. Also some other things
Replies
5
Views
210
Karnonnos
Karnonnos
AskSatanOperator
Question #4246: )(CURSE ISREAL!!) HELP!
Replies
2
Views
164
Hellenic SS
Hellenic SS

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

Official JoS Links

  • Joy of Satan
    •
  • Satan is God
    •
  • JoS Rituals
    •
  • JoS Library
    •

    JoS Platform Sites

  • Ask-Satan.net
    •
  • JoS Astrology
    •
  • JoS Projects
    •
  • JoS Wiki
    •
    Back
    Top