Reaching out for rational comprehension and a touch of faith..

[Spring 🔥 Fire 666]

Greetings all followers of Lord Zeas.
This is my second time to register on the forums. Im formerly Springfire. I had not been able to retrieve that account. I not fully certian what to achieve by this post, but hopefully, some valuable insights. It's hard to admit but it has become increasingly hard for me to be consistent and self directed. I am very often deppressed. Bad habits? Yes...
Alcohol, Drugs, and porn amongst others.
Im not even consistent in them. Virtually every single time I engage in said addictions I torture my self psychologically. It's truly painful and I don't know how to conceptualize it here. I refrained from posting on the cforum v, just because I Feld I need first be ready, able, but mostly worthy of engaging with this family and the Gods.
Everyday my inner voice is crying out. Louder, and louder it...
But then I'm hopeless.
It feels at times that I'm to unable.. but at times I allow myself to dream. Of a better world, a healthy lifestyle, A purpose driven.
When I'm feeling so empty so low esteemed, then I still see truth. The true sacrifice of one soul to Zeas... Require sacrifice! IE effort... Nothing is more true to life, to our nature than what I've come to discover here. It truly is to be valued above all else.
Im just so confused. There is a lot of things I cannot work through on my own at least I have the Gods, and now Toz . Ive had enough. I really need to change. But Ive said that for years now, it's demotivating. Im really alone not for social live. I am gay and it cause me pain alot of things cause me pain. I don't know wonna talk about it broadly but I have alot of pain. There is no way I wonna go on like this cause I wonna make the Gods proud. Make myself proud. And be of use to truth..
I have tried, but obviously not hard enough. I know what's possible to me.. It's just that sometimes it's hard to see the light.. It's maybe hard to make sense of my post, cause it's deliberately blunt. More experienced members might well be able to extract the unsaid from it.
Hail ZEAS
Hail Lady Astarte
Hail to all true zevists..

 

[SkeletonHands]

Hello!

I would suggest you gradually stopping these bad habits. If you watch porn everyday or so.... try making a goal to not do it for a day or s couple and replace this with a different activity like walking at a park.... or exercising etc. Keep doing this and replacing them with good habits.

If you need support with this you can divulge this information to a close friend and they can keep you on track.

Hail Zeus!
Hail Astaroth!
Hail Saloes!
Hail Leraji!
Hail Felix!
Hail the Gods/Goddess!!

 

[Spring 🔥 Fire 666]

Hello!

I would suggest you gradually stopping these bad habits. If you watch porn everyday or so.... try making a goal to not do it for a day or s couple and replace this with a different activity like walking at a park.... or exercising etc. Keep doing this and replacing them with good habits.

If you need support with this you can divulge this information to a close friend and they can keep you on track.

Hail Zeus!
Hail Astaroth!
Hail Saloes!
Hail Leraji!
Hail Felix!
Hail the Gods/Goddess!!

To do it gradually won't work. Why would I have self induced ( and unnecessary) pain. No. I don't do it daily. Whenever I'm drugged, I isolate myself watch porn for say- an entire day. One can only imagine what this can cause.
I agree with you. Exercise is a good idea. I'll get consistent in that. Me writing here means if reach a point. A point where I've had enough. Where I'm ready to sacrifice. That's I think how far the Gods have brought me. Yes I think it... Gradually.. no you want me to do what I've done for years. What's ultimately necessary is for me to be strong and advance gradually. Not deplete gradually. But I understand your point. Thanks for advice.

I salute you _ Skeleton hands ...