AskSatanOperator said:
I don't like people. Should I change myself in this direction? For me, loving people is something unpleasant, plus I know I can't forgive and I try to always keep my distance from people. If I get close to someone, it leads to personal disaster. I don't want Satanism to make me like people, even Satanists. I like my feelings, but they bother me when I read about morality in Satanism. "It's like Christianity". I never hurt anyone first, but always someone just hurts me. I have found that staying away from everyone is the best way to give peace of mind. It's okay for me to be indifferent to people. Yes, I can help in exceptional cases, but no more than that. Can I be with Satanism outside of its collective? I don't trust people. It's hard for me to ask the Gods for help, it makes me uncomfortable, they might refuse me вecause these of negative character traits. In this respect, I want to stay who I am. I always want to do exactly what I want, not what is required of me.
Satan understands and accepts us as we are.
I was like you. In some ways, I still am. I thought I was a misanthrope, because of negative experiences and other factors, and disliked everybody, but I realize now that I am not like that at heart. I am introverted to a very high degree and don't like letting people in either, and I understand not wanting to change that, but alot of this is also coming from trauma, and it sounds like that is the case for you as well.
As you learn and grow, and a variety of non-negative experiences fill your bucket, your perception will shift, and it gets better. It's not easy, but you can heal and improve yourself.
Isolation isn't worth it. With relationships, pain is guaranteed, this is true. But pain is also guaranteed without them, yet with isolation/solitude there is no chance for something beautiful to happen to you in the dance of relationships.
We cannot go far without the help of others, it's inherent to our design, our nature. Socializing and relating is a core human need and research has shown that isolation is more harmful to our health and wellbeing than a number of other threat vectors, like smoking and drinking. Those who have experienced it long term can vouch for the harm it can do.
As for always getting hurt, this can be many things. You could be encountering/attracting low quality, predatory people, for karmic reasons, or local demographics, or whatever the case may be. You could be sensitive and don't know how to handle your feelings and stand up for yourself. Or you could be unconsciously setting yourself up to be hurt.
But like I said, pain is the only certainty in life. Everyone will inevitably do something grating to you, sometimes without even meaning to. That's just life. But there are also times that we have to compromise with others for the good of everyone. And sometimes the pain is worth it.
Look at your astro chart, specifically your Saturn, Moon, Venus and 7th, 11th, and 3rd houses and rulers + aspects. Maybe even the 5th.
Studying astrology and your own natal chart will teach you so much about yourself and why your life is the way it is. Astrology is a gift to humanity, Satan truly blessed us with this wonderful tool.
You don't have to be a social butterfly. Not everybody has it in them. But I hope that you approach this from a place of awareness and understanding and can see the big picture here, and don't lock yourself into a negative worldview. Good luck.
