Question #5013: Raped by my own body.

Don't watch porn and do a freeing working targeting malicious and unwanted sexual karma.

Sexual acts are holy and powerful, they are a beautiful and rewarding thing in life. Don't vandalize these things, and be natural about it.

Adding to what AFODO said (you must do a freeing working!), you are not raped by your own body.
You get aroused, it's because it's both the kundalini serpent which is sexual in nature, your vitality and because there is a biological reaction happening where the blood flows to the genitals.

It is normal and natural to masturbate. Do not deprive yourself of this as celibacy is both dangerous and not good for ones body, soul or advancement, not to mention emotional and psychological side too!

Also, if you naturally feel attracted to women, as a woman, do not feel guilty and embrace yourself for who you are! I know it is not easy, believe me, but the sooner you can accept yourself for who and what you are, the sooner you can heal and become both happier and healthier!

Sorry for the strong usage of the word "Rape." I don't know any other way to describe it.
I feel like I'm being raped by my own body, I get physically aroused but not mentally, still getting the urge, but feeling almost like I violated myself. (and the target of my attractions).

Is there something I can do to fix this? Is it result of all the sexual repression I did in my teens (I convinced myself that being attracted to women as a woman would somehow be exploiting them..)

I just really want some help. I do not enjoy these feelings and sometimes I wish I had no sort of sex drive.

So you get horny sometimes. What was the problem again?

It sounds like you have programmed guilt about sexuality, because "self raping" is a term that crazy bible thumpers use to describe masturbation.

There is nothing wrong with you, nor is there anything wrong with being attracted to women, you only need to free yourself from unhealthy views about sexuality.

You can try a freeing the soul working with Munka. It is also important to clean your soul. Cleaning your sacral chakra in particular will help you. Feel free to fulfill your needs, it is unhealthy to repress your sexuality.

I convinced myself that being attracted to women as a woman would somehow be exploiting them..

Also, regarding this, this is another symptom of repression from enemy religion. The idea that women are corrupted by sexual acts, that only untouched virgins are good, clean and pure. This is not true.

Desire is essential for wellbeing, everybody needs it in some form or another. Everybody wants to be wanted. There is also a healthy balance to everything. Celibacy is not healthy, nor is promiscuity. If your advances are consensual and for the good of both of you, and you are in similar stages of life, then there is no worry about exploitation either.