my sexual orientation

[golkr2]

Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much?

Pornography DOES these things: it confuses you. At your age it was the same with me, I was extremely confused by the thing and by what it appeared to me; that is, all kinds of things within the reach of a click and the manager of the porn site expects you to experience your sexuality in those ways, but there are really so many in a confusing way and you will not be the one to spontaneously choose one of these, simply an algorithm within the reach of a click.

My best advice is this: you are understanding yourself more in this period, this is the teenager section, so if you write here you are in the phase in which you want to understand yourself better. And it is a good thing, necessary and will be crucially useful for you to grow (this will be the beginning of becoming the best version of yourself when you grow up, it is not unrelated).

Precisely for this reason, experience sexuality as it comes naturally to you, try to understand what you want, in reality, in your deepest desires, etc. Not what the algorithm proposes to you in a totally perverse and unrealistic way: sexuality is a healthy thing. Don't let a porn site ruin it.

 

[Epiphany]

Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.

Porn can warp your mind and make you aroused by things that you ordinarily wouldn't, even things that are unnatural. It's very unhealthy.

If you don't imagine yourself in romance with men in daily life then you're most likely not gay. On the other hand, it could be that you have androphile inclinations buried somewhere within and porn brings this out.

You have to get to know yourself outside the context of porn to understand if this is really the case.

You don't have to be a sissy to be gay, alot of the gays are macho men. Try to free yourself from porn.

 

[Epiphany]

If you're young, it's extremely important to stay away from porn, because your mind is still developing.

 

[Devilinside]

Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.

I'm not a teen but this matter hits close enough for home that I hope to offer some insight.

Being "fem" doesn't make one having anything other than they have that trait. The association with various traits to other traits and aspects of ones self is of the enemy, not of our people. If you have wide hips and "large breasts" (a wide torso for a male is in fact 'wide breasts' and you can look at anime drawings and such to see wide breasts and narrow waist is done for everyone; Goku/most Anime women have the same 'build same with superman (((the character superman is an enemy invention if you didn't know and it was to show immigrants can be good for the west/better than the natives: a laughable notion))) and Wonder Women) is just that a trait. It's like saying foot, earlobe, nail and or nose size determine how much wealth your gonna have in your life or your sperm count. I mean at the higher levels of learning I'm sure various things can appear as such but you should see my point quite well. This billion different dissections into a billion different terms into a nonsensical amount of info leads to pointless obsessions and worry and is literally a psychic assault on our peoples confidence and wellbeing.

Plus maybe you're Bisexual? Maybe it's just 'dirty and kinky' to you in which case you're more than likely just into women but getting turned on 'by what you see as wrong' and or maybe 'bad for you.' That 'wrong' angle can also just be homophobia turned into a sexual fetish because things that are 'dirty and wrong' can be a turn on with damage to your sacral Chakra. It can also stem from a messed up Throat Chakra, Heart Chakra, and or Solar Chakra due to self hatred/self loathing. There is also emotional body damage and no matter what you should do https://ancient-forums.com/threads/...body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/ this meditation even if you don't think you have any problems because better to handle it now than run into a roadblock when you're on a roll of progress. jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars Will tell you about the next best time for. There is also a freeing the soul working to get rid of all not true sexual desires that can aid in this.

After all just think to yourself: do you feel grossed out by it or do you enjoy it just for the fact you enjoy it? And either way having real experience can tell you many things regardless of thoughts and if you wanna 'experiment' or just roll with it you can. There is no harm in having a sexual experience that teaches you something about yourself. It's not gross weird or anything but a learning experience. Nothing wrong with the fact you like it either or found something out about yourself because the only goal is to find if it's the real you or if it's something being forced upon you.

However the enemy has a vested interest in keep all our birth rates down, especially Aryans, so when and if you get the chance make a family regardless of if you also enjoy males go for it. I myself believe my ideal partnership is going to be with a male and a female so I might be a Father and pass on my Father Satans genes onto a new generation and also help teach a 'new soul' Satanic ways in the sense of giving them a foundation to really build themselves up. Our faith is self evident and I want to give someone the chance I never had. Far far down the line for me though because I have a great deal of work on myself before hand, and never be fooled by the idea that children are anything but the highest honor and deepest sacrifice. Far to many want to have children like they want puppies. I morn so often seeing children who are unwanted by their young Aryan mothers out in public. They act with pure contempt to the child as if they asked to be born.

Anyways I hope this gives you a nice basis and understanding that obsession is never a good thing. Neurotic behavior is necrotic behavior and very much is akin to the uroboro symbol. Take a moment to study it and think on it and how it represents mental emotional aspects of ones self. If you want more aid message here and I will guide with what little I know (about that single aspect). I only ask for you to study it yourself on your own so you might come to the inspiration and knowledge yourself, and mayhapst you will feel your Guardian helping to guide you. Ask for them, even if you can't hear or see them, by saying "To my Guardian Demon in Satan" [ than ask and say what you will ]. Be open honest and earnest with yourself and than. Also remember that 'our minds play tricks' on us and that by using meditation (Void especially) you can understand what is what you want/are coming up with and is actual inspiration from a higher power.

Well wishes and good luck on your endeavor. May you enjoy yourself and your journey of self discovery and find the deepest greatest pleasure in loving yourself in all ways and by finding out who you truly are may you find the truest most steadfast friend in yourself.

 

[luis]

Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.

Whatever sexual orientiation you are it's fine. It seems you are scared to be something else than straight. Spiritual Satanism wants everyone to be free to be themselves, even because the Kundalini requires you to be free from any sexual problems to raise. You are young, you'll figure it out with time. Just be open minded. Porn in general is not good whatever you are straight or not. Try your best to stay away from it.

 

[Anemos Aiteros]

Pornography generates confusion about sexuality, it used by jews as a psychological operation to degenerate society.

 

[golkr2]

I'm not a teen but this matter hits close enough for home that I hope to offer some insight.

Being "fem" doesn't make one having anything other than they have that trait. The association with various traits to other traits and aspects of ones self is of the enemy, not of our people. If you have wide hips and "large breasts" (a wide torso for a male is in fact 'wide breasts' and you can look at anime drawings and such to see wide breasts and narrow waist is done for everyone; Goku/most Anime women have the same 'build same with superman (((the character superman is an enemy invention if you didn't know and it was to show immigrants can be good for the west/better than the natives: a laughable notion))) and Wonder Women) is just that a trait. It's like saying foot, earlobe, nail and or nose size determine how much wealth your gonna have in your life or your sperm count. I mean at the higher levels of learning I'm sure various things can appear as such but you should see my point quite well. This billion different dissections into a billion different terms into a nonsensical amount of info leads to pointless obsessions and worry and is literally a psychic assault on our peoples confidence and wellbeing.

Plus maybe you're Bisexual? Maybe it's just 'dirty and kinky' to you in which case you're more than likely just into women but getting turned on 'by what you see as wrong' and or maybe 'bad for you.' That 'wrong' angle can also just be homophobia turned into a sexual fetish because things that are 'dirty and wrong' can be a turn on with damage to your sacral Chakra. It can also stem from a messed up Throat Chakra, Heart Chakra, and or Solar Chakra due to self hatred/self loathing. There is also emotional body damage and no matter what you should do https://ancient-forums.com/threads/...body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/ this meditation even if you don't think you have any problems because better to handle it now than run into a roadblock when you're on a roll of progress. jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars Will tell you about the next best time for. There is also a freeing the soul working to get rid of all not true sexual desires that can aid in this.

After all just think to yourself: do you feel grossed out by it or do you enjoy it just for the fact you enjoy it? And either way having real experience can tell you many things regardless of thoughts and if you wanna 'experiment' or just roll with it you can. There is no harm in having a sexual experience that teaches you something about yourself. It's not gross weird or anything but a learning experience. Nothing wrong with the fact you like it either or found something out about yourself because the only goal is to find if it's the real you or if it's something being forced upon you.

However the enemy has a vested interest in keep all our birth rates down, especially Aryans, so when and if you get the chance make a family regardless of if you also enjoy males go for it. I myself believe my ideal partnership is going to be with a male and a female so I might be a Father and pass on my Father Satans genes onto a new generation and also help teach a 'new soul' Satanic ways in the sense of giving them a foundation to really build themselves up. Our faith is self evident and I want to give someone the chance I never had. Far far down the line for me though because I have a great deal of work on myself before hand, and never be fooled by the idea that children are anything but the highest honor and deepest sacrifice. Far to many want to have children like they want puppies. I morn so often seeing children who are unwanted by their young Aryan mothers out in public. They act with pure contempt to the child as if they asked to be born.

Anyways I hope this gives you a nice basis and understanding that obsession is never a good thing. Neurotic behavior is necrotic behavior and very much is akin to the uroboro symbol. Take a moment to study it and think on it and how it represents mental emotional aspects of ones self. If you want more aid message here and I will guide with what little I know (about that single aspect). I only ask for you to study it yourself on your own so you might come to the inspiration and knowledge yourself, and mayhapst you will feel your Guardian helping to guide you. Ask for them, even if you can't hear or see them, by saying "To my Guardian Demon in Satan" [ than ask and say what you will ]. Be open honest and earnest with yourself and than. Also remember that 'our minds play tricks' on us and that by using meditation (Void especially) you can understand what is what you want/are coming up with and is actual inspiration from a higher power.

Well wishes and good luck on your endeavor. May you enjoy yourself and your journey of self discovery and find the deepest greatest pleasure in loving yourself in all ways and by finding out who you truly are may you find the truest most steadfast friend in yourself.

Thank you. You wrote about hating yourself. It's true, the complexes of my appearance haunted me, I still have complexes, but not so much anymore. You know, at one point, I talked more with girls than with guys. I began to realize that this is how gay people behave, because it's easier for them to talk to someone who doesn't attract them. But over time, I realized that I was just afraid of being weak among other guys. I considered myself weak and feeble. Then there was pornography, which made itself felt after many years of addiction. All this confused me, can you tell me about meditations? Thank you!

 

[golkr2]

Pornography DOES these things: it confuses you. At your age it was the same with me, I was extremely confused by the thing and by what it appeared to me; that is, all kinds of things within the reach of a click and the manager of the porn site expects you to experience your sexuality in those ways, but there are really so many in a confusing way and you will not be the one to spontaneously choose one of these, simply an algorithm within the reach of a click.

My best advice is this: you are understanding yourself more in this period, this is the teenager section, so if you write here you are in the phase in which you want to understand yourself better. And it is a good thing, necessary and will be crucially useful for you to grow (this will be the beginning of becoming the best version of yourself when you grow up, it is not unrelated).

Precisely for this reason, experience sexuality as it comes naturally to you, try to understand what you want, in reality, in your deepest desires, etc. Not what the algorithm proposes to you in a totally perverse and unrealistic way: sexuality is a healthy thing. Don't let a porn site ruin it.

Hello, thank you! To be honest, no one imagined myself in a romantic relationship with a man. It scares me that pornography has really made my mind more depraved. I do not know how to deal with this and fully realize myself.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

I do not know how to deal with this and fully realize myself.

Once you stop using pornography, you will not only detox from it, but also detox from its effects. It is like a horror movie that traumatizes you. If you watch a horror movie every night, you will be traumatized every night, but if you stop watching this genre, you will even forget the plots of what you watched.

Just focus on feeling yourself. Don't think about "what did I actually feel watching that video?", try to feel yourself, what you really feel. It's really normal that it's difficult for you now, because it's the period you're coming into contact with. Once the period is over, you might have a much clearer vision and you'll definitely be more sexually mature.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

can you tell me about meditations?

Sorry, I didn't read your entire reply, but scrolling through the topic I noticed the word "meditation" in this reply of yours. It's very important, read here:

For Those Who are New to Spiritual Satanism

Use also this link:

Basic Meditation Program

 

[Devilinside]

Thank you. You wrote about hating yourself. It's true, the complexes of my appearance haunted me, I still have complexes, but not so much anymore. You know, at one point, I talked more with girls than with guys. I began to realize that this is how gay people behave, because it's easier for them to talk to someone who doesn't attract them. But over time, I realized that I was just afraid of being weak among other guys. I considered myself weak and feeble. Then there was pornography, which made itself felt after many years of addiction. All this confused me, can you tell me about meditations? Thank you!

Sure

For freeing the soul there is

Freeing the Soul

A very important one that lets us unburned ourselves from our self inflicted bindings, bindings others have placed on us and Karmic seeds. Emotions bind us and cause a great deal of self harm and so to lead into the next thing...

Healing the Emotional Body (for men too, don’t disregard this)

You have your physical body, soul, astral body, mental body, and more. The Emotional Body is the part of the soul that can be damaged when you experience emotional trauma, grief, bereavement, abandonment, and so on. Many people have emotional outbursts, immature reactions, trigger episodes...

ancient-forums.com

Emotions like self hatred and unsureness follow us deeply. Maybe you find yourself lacking? I know when I was heavier-set between that and not understanding my own proportions I felt a great deal of 'penis shame:' and I know I'm not the only male with it. Many of us feel not well endowed enough, not masculine enough, and not strong enough but truth of it is that these are traits and nothing is forever. Also for the gentiles aspect you should know most women are literally not able to handle very large sizes no matter what porn tells you. Vaginal tearing is awful and as a male who has been with other males let me tell you size is NOT a good thing.

As far as muscles and the like that comes in time and in truth a powerful Yoga body is far healthier and sexier than someone who looks like they did all the roids: and for the fact you talk with more girls that isn't a gay male trait only. Males who are considered 8/9's and 10's all have far more girls they talk with then males because those women throw themselves at them. Granted you shouldn't seek to dispose of anyone and you should respect yourself to have high standards. After all the quality of someones soul and truest self is far more important than ones outward appearance, but I digress.

Satanic Void Meditation

This is the meditation that allows us to learn ourselves, our thoughts, our damage, and more about what and how we think. Are you arrogant? Maybe you 'spaz out'. Do you just daydream a lot? Finding out why and how it relates to ones self is of the upmost importance in ones own life. ( Astrology builds more on this jos-astro.com and you can learn a lot from yourself: NEVER EVER IN YOUR LIFE EVER SHARE YOUR PLACEMENTS AT ALL! There are 'exceptions' but that is all for special circumstances that most would never EVER go into. This info can literally kill you, and no I'm not joking. Energy is about timing and a single well placed snipers bolt to your life will ruin it or make you wish it was over.)

For you just ask yourself in a quite place alone "why do I enjoy other men?" And think on it long and hard and know that traits are traits. Do you just like another males butt: ok than. So? Does your world view of knowing you enjoy chicken ruin the eating of apples? Not at all and the truth of life is so much less ridged than what we cling too.

Think of life like this, those who praise only being in 'the light' fear the dark because there is nothing to cling too. In the Darkness, alone with yourself you have to find purpose and meaning in earnest. Why and how have far more meaning when one is adrift and the truth is people anchor themselves to whatever is easier to make as a 'port in the storm' rather than what really has meaning. Why? It's easy. Things like a healthy family and upwards positive momentum are meaningful but hard: yet the rewarding things always are.

A sexual crisis is important because this can teach you about yourself but at the same time on the other end you will also find out that it didn't really 'matter.' Life is like looking at a bowl of soup. Does each ingredient matter less than the 'sum of its parts:' aka what people call it? No, it in fact matters the most because that is what makes it what it is.

Maybe you do also enjoy males or maybe this is just a fetish you've gotten into. Try to explore your body in a healthy way alone with just your mind; what do you come up with? Do you find that 'sissies' are all that get you off and if so why? What is a 'sissy'? Is it a fail male to you and if so why do you enjoy that? Do you like well formed guys? Skater boys? The list goes on and on and truly be critical of each aspect in a plain way without worry. When you get to the 'root' of things you might have a better understanding of yourself and why and if the whys seem gross than ask what makes them gross. If it is just the likely of males that is enemy programming but the harmful things will be gross.

As far as the uroboros symbol it is a snake devouring itself. Like all meaningful symbols it has many, many layers, but for emotional distress it's pretty self evident https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros#/media/File:Serpiente_alquimica.jpg

Aside from that if you wanna talk and discuss I'm open to you messaging here as much as you'd like. This is a subject I can handle if it is something you wish to go into more. Take a nice slow easy deep breath and know that you have no reason to be hard on yourself for anything you enjoy so long as it is healthy and it's actually 'you' that wants it.

 

[luis]

Once you stop using pornography, you will not only detox from it, but also detox from its effects. It is like a horror movie that traumatizes you. If you watch a horror movie every night, you will be traumatized every night, but if you stop watching this genre, you will even forget the plots of what you watched.

Just focus on feeling yourself. Don't think about "what did I actually feel watching that video?", try to feel yourself, what you really feel. It's really normal that it's difficult for you now, because it's the period you're coming into contact with. Once the period is over, you might have a much clearer vision and you'll definitely be more sexually mature.

Hello, thank you! To be honest, no one imagined myself in a romantic relationship with a man. It scares me that pornography has really made my mind more depraved. I do not know how to deal with this and fully realize myself.

While pornography is not healthy. Let's not discard the idea of the guy being attracted to man. Like I said the Kundalini needs you to be free from any sexual problems. If op is bisexual then it's what it is. If I watch porn and I get aroused by a men then I should start to ask myself why it happens.

Op said that he plays sports and is not feminine which shows a distorted way of sexuality. Being gay or bisexual does not mean you need to be feminine or to not like sports. It just means you are attracted to the same sex.

I don't know what kind of porn you are watching but If you get aroused by male genitalia or by men in general than there is a good chance you could be bisexual and there is nothing wrong with it.

You can't do a spell to change it. You can only do spell to free yourself from any sexual confusion/problems. They will help you see the truth whatever that is.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Let's not discard the idea of the guy being attracted to man

Totally agree with you, Brother! Even though this concept was missing from my reply because it didn't focus on his orientation, I TOTALLY agree with this beautiful addition of yours, thank you for making it! Yes, it is really appropriate for you to understand what you like @golkr2 It's part of this process of knowing yourself!

 

[golkr2]

Totally agree with you, Brother! Even though this concept was missing from my reply because it didn't focus on his orientation, I TOTALLY agree with this beautiful addition of yours, thank you for making it! Yes, it is really appropriate for you to understand what you like @golkr2 It's part of this process of knowing yourself!

To be honest, it's hard for me to figure out what I really like. I don't even know how to figure out what turns me on. For example, do I need to view naked photos of both girls and boys on the internet? I don't know. When I masturbate, let's just say, well, I don't even know, most of the time I can't imagine anything.Why do I have doubts? I don't understand feelings of love or sympathy. Well, let's say I liked one girl, I often imagined her in my fantasies, but suddenly I didn't like her? Lol, I don't understand how to define my feelings. I understand nothing. There have also been moments in my life that contradicted my naturalness, but I've been thinking for a very long time about what could have caused it, perhaps childhood trauma, perhaps a complex, perhaps I just masturbate and watch pornography too often, so my desires can change dramatically. I will notice that I am not attracted to women's breasts, I do not know, but I can imagine having sex with a woman. And it excites me, I love it when a woman touches me. Oh, the gods! I'm really confused. I do not know how to sort myself out.I have been living without a father since I was seven years old, perhaps this also affects the ambivalence of my thoughts. Perhaps it affected my lack of self-confidence. (I DON'T DREAM of kissing a guy, I don't dream of having sex with a guy, I'm not turned on by having sex with a guy), but at the same time, I like a cool body, let's just say. And I do not know how to check what exactly excites me. Anyway, I don't have any friends. No girls, no guys, although I'm sociable) But I don't have any friends at all, because someone is interested in racing, football, and I'm interested in spiritual things, someone is playing minecraft, and I'm sitting and falling into a trance. Yes, I'm different from other teenagers, so I don't have any friends in real life. However, I talk to everyone at school, but I never meet anyone, let's say, outside of school. By the way, I don't think that orientation from birth is nonsense. I can cite many stories that prove this. Orientation can also change, especially during adolescence. And I want to know exactly which one I have. And also to get rid of complexes somehow. Thank you for helping me! Sorry about the essay.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Sorry about the essay.

Don't worry, I just noticed that your situation was serious, so I decided to take a few hours to focus on giving you a better answer and not on what I thought at the time.

To be honest, it's hard for me to figure out what I really like. I don't even know how to figure out what turns me on. For example, do I need to view naked photos of both girls and boys on the internet? I don't know

You are just going through the phase of knowing yourself. Adolescence is long for this very reason. It is unrealistic to think that the day after you become a teenager you already know everything precisely about how sex works and your relationship with it.

When I masturbate, let's just say, well, I don't even know, most of the time I can't imagine anything

You are not used to doing it. And maybe initially you don't even have something specific that is the cause that excites you sexually. It is exactly part of the process. Think about when an adult falls in love. No one starts from "I already know who I want to build a family with", they always start with the idea of "I would like someone to love" and then the thing becomes more and more precise. It is normal and things work like this.

Why do I have doubts? I don't understand feelings of love or sympathy

Here too it is a matter of habit. Think of 7-year-olds who find a boyfriend or girlfriend. What do they know about a deep romantic love that you would devote your energy to making the other person feel good about? They simply have a best friend who is more enjoyable for them to spend time with than other friends and they mistake this for "love and the need for a relationship." Take your time.

Well, let's say I liked one girl, I often imagined her in my fantasies, but suddenly I didn't like her? Lol, I don't understand how to define my feelings.

This is because in schools, in sex education, they explain sex to you in extreme and wrong ways. Either the teacher tells you that "sex exists, but it is not used as an expression of love that we can translate into something physically perceptible immediately like a hug, a kiss or a caress through our senses; no, it is just to procreate" or the other extreme of "love? It does not exist! You all have the tendency to have sex with 100 prostitutes a week, so remember our brand of condoms and not someone else's". NO ONE during your growing age focuses on the TRUE role of sex. And if you like to love someone and show it to them through a moment of total intimacy, they also make you feel wrong because "what if Jesus knew???".

but I've been thinking for a very long time about what could have caused it, perhaps childhood trauma, perhaps a complex, perhaps I just masturbate and watch pornography too often, so my desires can change dramatically

You could try to handle this (and you seriously should if you want my personal advice) with this spiritual work:

Healing the Emotional Body (for men too, don’t disregard this)

You have your physical body, soul, astral body, mental body, and more. The Emotional Body is the part of the soul that can be damaged when you experience emotional trauma, grief, bereavement, abandonment, and so on. Many people have emotional outbursts, immature reactions, trigger episodes...

ancient-forums.com

I will notice that I am not attracted to women's breasts, I do not know, but I can imagine having sex with a woman. And it excites me, I love it when a woman touches me.

Did you see? You are making good progress in knowing yourself when you say that you have noticed that you don't like women's breasts. For example, I don't like breasts too much on women either, and I prefer other areas, but it wasn't an immediate awareness for me, I got there over time and I thought I really liked breasts at first since all men like them, etc. In the future you may notice that you actually start to like breasts, etc. take time to feel and understand these things. And when you say that you like to be sexually touched it means that you are awakening your sexual nature, the fact that the sexual tendency is present in you gives you the opportunity to know it better and better. You are making good progress for yourself

Perhaps it affected my lack of self-confidence.

You can try hypnosis to increase your self-esteem, at least for now. I leave you the link of JoS:

Hypnosis

A great tool for the trance state for Hypnosis:

https://satanslibrary.org/ExposingChristianity/30_Minute_Meditation.zip

Doing this exercise before falling asleep is very helpful.

And I do not know how to check what exactly excites me

For now try to explore these new sensations. Over time you may naturally be drawn to want to do more practical experiences and understand. But treat it as if it were a school subject of Mathematics: you study the theoretical part and then do the exercises, and while you do the exercises you can always go back to review the theoretical part until you have been able to solve the exercise correctly.

Anyway, I don't have any friends. No girls, no guys, although I'm sociable)

This thing is solved, at the end of this reply I'll insert a quote from another reply of mine that deals with this topic in response to another user. But first I'll finish the discussion.

But I don't have any friends at all, because someone is interested in racing, football, and I'm interested in spiritual things, someone is playing minecraft, and I'm sitting and falling into a trance.

It's normal, but you know, the fact that you like to be spiritual, doesn't mean that other things are necessarily useless, obviously you just have to scale back their importance. I can't even stand it when my friends list the players that make up their favorite football team. But there are some things that in the past I was interested in talking about with them (for example Japanese Anime) and even if I haven't seen a movie in a long time, I recently enjoyed a conversation with a comic book fan about the new superhero movies. This didn't devalue meditation for me, on the contrary it allowed me to feel better about myself and meditating even became easier that day.

Yes, I'm different from other teenagers, so I don't have any friends in real life

Don't worry, focus on attracting people who are a good fit for your specific needs

By the way, I don't think that orientation from birth is nonsense. I can cite many stories that prove this. Orientation can also change, especially during adolescence.

Yes, it is precisely the process of greater self-knowledge of this period that you are experiencing now that you are talking about.

And I want to know exactly which one I have

Take your time
Don't rush.

And also to get rid of complexes somehow

Just follow the HPS Lydia's sermon on how to heal the emotional body I linked to you above

EXTRA: The quote of mine I was talking about:

Hi!

To attract somebody:

The Aura

To know how to treat your new friend:

Satanic Ethics

How to do the above:

Basic Meditation Program

Important final notes:

The Void of Course Moon

Timing your Magick with the Moon

Timing Your Magick with the Planets

An useful tool:

Jos Astro

Joy Of Satan Astrology Project

jos-astro.com

Especially:

Jos Astro

Joy Of Satan Astrology Project

jos-astro.com

A Great Demon (God) who rules over this topic:

Anubis's Power Ritual - JoS Rituals

Welcome to JoS Rituals! Get access to RTRs, Power Rituals and much more. Discover Satan's gifts to Humanity.

josrituals.org

Runes and pronunciation:

Futhark/Odin

A final information:

The Three Steps of Witchcraft

How to use the Anubis' Power Ritual above:


Good luck

 

[ᥫ᭡. Echos ৻ꪆ]

Don't worry, I just noticed that your situation was serious, so I decided to take a few hours to focus on giving you a better answer and not on what I thought at the time.



You are just going through the phase of knowing yourself. Adolescence is long for this very reason. It is unrealistic to think that the day after you become a teenager you already know everything precisely about how sex works and your relationship with it.



You are not used to doing it. And maybe initially you don't even have something specific that is the cause that excites you sexually. It is exactly part of the process. Think about when an adult falls in love. No one starts from "I already know who I want to build a family with", they always start with the idea of "I would like someone to love" and then the thing becomes more and more precise. It is normal and things work like this.



Here too it is a matter of habit. Think of 7-year-olds who find a boyfriend or girlfriend. What do they know about a deep romantic love that you would devote your energy to making the other person feel good about? They simply have a best friend who is more enjoyable for them to spend time with than other friends and they mistake this for "love and the need for a relationship." Take your time.



This is because in schools, in sex education, they explain sex to you in extreme and wrong ways. Either the teacher tells you that "sex exists, but it is not used as an expression of love that we can translate into something physically perceptible immediately like a hug, a kiss or a caress through our senses; no, it is just to procreate" or the other extreme of "love? It does not exist! You all have the tendency to have sex with 100 prostitutes a week, so remember our brand of condoms and not someone else's". NO ONE during your growing age focuses on the TRUE role of sex. And if you like to love someone and show it to them through a moment of total intimacy, they also make you feel wrong because "what if Jesus knew???".



You could try to handle this (and you seriously should if you want my personal advice) with this spiritual work:

Healing the Emotional Body (for men too, don’t disregard this)

You have your physical body, soul, astral body, mental body, and more. The Emotional Body is the part of the soul that can be damaged when you experience emotional trauma, grief, bereavement, abandonment, and so on. Many people have emotional outbursts, immature reactions, trigger episodes...

ancient-forums.com

Did you see? You are making good progress in knowing yourself when you say that you have noticed that you don't like women's breasts. For example, I don't like breasts too much on women either, and I prefer other areas, but it wasn't an immediate awareness for me, I got there over time and I thought I really liked breasts at first since all men like them, etc. In the future you may notice that you actually start to like breasts, etc. take time to feel and understand these things. And when you say that you like to be sexually touched it means that you are awakening your sexual nature, the fact that the sexual tendency is present in you gives you the opportunity to know it better and better. You are making good progress for yourself



You can try hypnosis to increase your self-esteem, at least for now. I leave you the link of JoS:

Hypnosis

A great tool for the trance state for Hypnosis:

https://satanslibrary.org/ExposingChristianity/30_Minute_Meditation.zip

Doing this exercise before falling asleep is very helpful.



For now try to explore these new sensations. Over time you may naturally be drawn to want to do more practical experiences and understand. But treat it as if it were a school subject of Mathematics: you study the theoretical part and then do the exercises, and while you do the exercises you can always go back to review the theoretical part until you have been able to solve the exercise correctly.



This thing is solved, at the end of this reply I'll insert a quote from another reply of mine that deals with this topic in response to another user. But first I'll finish the discussion.



It's normal, but you know, the fact that you like to be spiritual, doesn't mean that other things are necessarily useless, obviously you just have to scale back their importance. I can't even stand it when my friends list the players that make up their favorite football team. But there are some things that in the past I was interested in talking about with them (for example Japanese Anime) and even if I haven't seen a movie in a long time, I recently enjoyed a conversation with a comic book fan about the new superhero movies. This didn't devalue meditation for me, on the contrary it allowed me to feel better about myself and meditating even became easier that day.



Don't worry, focus on attracting people who are a good fit for your specific needs



Yes, it is precisely the process of greater self-knowledge of this period that you are experiencing now that you are talking about.



Take your time
Don't rush.



Just follow the HPS Lydia's sermon on how to heal the emotional body I linked to you above

EXTRA: The quote of mine I was talking about:

Wonderful reply.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Wonderful reply.

I really hope so. This feedback is really important to me. It took me almost an hour to write that reply... ...I'm not afraid of "wasted time", but I would like to know if I was able to help sometimes. Thank you!!!

 

[golkr2]

Don't worry, I just noticed that your situation was serious, so I decided to take a few hours to focus on giving you a better answer and not on what I thought at the time.



You are just going through the phase of knowing yourself. Adolescence is long for this very reason. It is unrealistic to think that the day after you become a teenager you already know everything precisely about how sex works and your relationship with it.



You are not used to doing it. And maybe initially you don't even have something specific that is the cause that excites you sexually. It is exactly part of the process. Think about when an adult falls in love. No one starts from "I already know who I want to build a family with", they always start with the idea of "I would like someone to love" and then the thing becomes more and more precise. It is normal and things work like this.



Here too it is a matter of habit. Think of 7-year-olds who find a boyfriend or girlfriend. What do they know about a deep romantic love that you would devote your energy to making the other person feel good about? They simply have a best friend who is more enjoyable for them to spend time with than other friends and they mistake this for "love and the need for a relationship." Take your time.



This is because in schools, in sex education, they explain sex to you in extreme and wrong ways. Either the teacher tells you that "sex exists, but it is not used as an expression of love that we can translate into something physically perceptible immediately like a hug, a kiss or a caress through our senses; no, it is just to procreate" or the other extreme of "love? It does not exist! You all have the tendency to have sex with 100 prostitutes a week, so remember our brand of condoms and not someone else's". NO ONE during your growing age focuses on the TRUE role of sex. And if you like to love someone and show it to them through a moment of total intimacy, they also make you feel wrong because "what if Jesus knew???".



You could try to handle this (and you seriously should if you want my personal advice) with this spiritual work:

Healing the Emotional Body (for men too, don’t disregard this)

You have your physical body, soul, astral body, mental body, and more. The Emotional Body is the part of the soul that can be damaged when you experience emotional trauma, grief, bereavement, abandonment, and so on. Many people have emotional outbursts, immature reactions, trigger episodes...

ancient-forums.com

Did you see? You are making good progress in knowing yourself when you say that you have noticed that you don't like women's breasts. For example, I don't like breasts too much on women either, and I prefer other areas, but it wasn't an immediate awareness for me, I got there over time and I thought I really liked breasts at first since all men like them, etc. In the future you may notice that you actually start to like breasts, etc. take time to feel and understand these things. And when you say that you like to be sexually touched it means that you are awakening your sexual nature, the fact that the sexual tendency is present in you gives you the opportunity to know it better and better. You are making good progress for yourself



You can try hypnosis to increase your self-esteem, at least for now. I leave you the link of JoS:

Hypnosis

A great tool for the trance state for Hypnosis:

https://satanslibrary.org/ExposingChristianity/30_Minute_Meditation.zip

Doing this exercise before falling asleep is very helpful.



For now try to explore these new sensations. Over time you may naturally be drawn to want to do more practical experiences and understand. But treat it as if it were a school subject of Mathematics: you study the theoretical part and then do the exercises, and while you do the exercises you can always go back to review the theoretical part until you have been able to solve the exercise correctly.



This thing is solved, at the end of this reply I'll insert a quote from another reply of mine that deals with this topic in response to another user. But first I'll finish the discussion.



It's normal, but you know, the fact that you like to be spiritual, doesn't mean that other things are necessarily useless, obviously you just have to scale back their importance. I can't even stand it when my friends list the players that make up their favorite football team. But there are some things that in the past I was interested in talking about with them (for example Japanese Anime) and even if I haven't seen a movie in a long time, I recently enjoyed a conversation with a comic book fan about the new superhero movies. This didn't devalue meditation for me, on the contrary it allowed me to feel better about myself and meditating even became easier that day.



Don't worry, focus on attracting people who are a good fit for your specific needs



Yes, it is precisely the process of greater self-knowledge of this period that you are experiencing now that you are talking about.



Take your time
Don't rush.



Just follow the HPS Lydia's sermon on how to heal the emotional body I linked to you above

EXTRA: The quote of mine I was talking about:

Thanks! Your answer helped me a lot. But, unfortunately, my adolescence began a long time ago. And I still haven't fully figured myself out. Whether I'm straight or not... Anyway, if I don't figure it out, I'll get a cat and another dog, and the three of us will live together. Me, two dogs and a cat. You know, a lot of things can affect my psyche. My mother's upbringing, the influence of my childhood friend. Well, when I was a kid, I had a friend who introduced me to pornography, and we even tried to do something sexual, but it wasn't serious. Maybe it's imprinted on my mind? That's why I can't make up my mind, and my feelings are too confusing and soapy. Actually, I do not know. We can only guess and hope that I'll figure it out. Thank you for your reply! Anyway, I stopped watching pornography and I'll tell you about the results. To be honest, they already exist. I began to imagine more often in my fantasies, rather than watching porn. I don't have guys in my fantasies, but I still have conflicting thoughts in my head. I want to find out if I'm 100% straight or not. What if I'm gay after all? It's important to me. This is my knowledge, I can't live in ignorance. Lol. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be doing meditation or other spiritual things right now. (Yes, I'm too lazy to meditate, and I'm still not 100% sure about Satanism, I'm just looking for answers) At least I'm doing something, I'm fighting. One more essay, ahah, sorry. Good luck to you! You are a great person who helps others!

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

You are a great person who helps others!

You are so kind! It is beautiful what you wrote to me!

Don't worry, you are among Satanists. It is NORMAL that on these things there is cooperation and a desire to help you. We are not a Christian sect; we will not persecute you at your first problem.

Yes, I'm too lazy to meditate, and I'm still not 100% sure about Satanism, I'm just looking for answers

Don't worry, thank you for telling about this obstacle of yours. It is off-topic for sure, but know that laziness is not the enemy of meditation. There are really so many occasions when I want to be lazy during the day, and to escape from some "duty" that will get me nowhere (for example, a friend of mine who asks me to turn on the PC to spend hours watching him waste time on bad video games) I use the "I can't, I want to stay in bed for a while longer to meditate" as an excuse.

Regarding the fact that you are not sure about Satanism, UNDERSTAND, if you were in ancient Greece or ancient Egypt right now, you would have no problem "being sure about Satanism" (Satanism is exactly what was practiced there, of course what was practiced there was not called "Satanism" for a purely expressive and linguistic matter, but there were not the differences that people make up).

But now you are not in the Kingdom of Ramses II, you are in a country where in all likelihood, the most well-known and popular form of spirituality is "Christ said repent, repent, being sad will do your soul good." Don't worry, as long as you have had the courage to think for yourself and be yourself by not giving a damn that "Jesus saw that you opened the JoS forum! He is crying a lot and wants you to close it, 100 frustrations," but WANTING YOUR GOOD, the real one... in my opinion that alone does you MUCH more honor than you think!

I wouldn't be doing meditation or other spiritual things right

Correct. JoS says in several articles that knowing oneself is essential in any spiritual path. In the beginning it's not strictly essential in my experience, but if you want to really advance and understand what your soul is going through, how to better work on it, what you're prone to and what you're not, etc. ...after a while it becomes very good to begin to know yourself. Maybe opening the third eye does not require much knowledge about you, but try to think for example about when you have to rid your soul of negative Karma. It is a trivial example, but it gives the idea.

This is my knowledge, I can't live in ignorance

Satanism is here so that you do not remain in any kind of ignorance (and also so that you live as well and as long as possible, is literally the ultimate goal of Satanism). Take your time to experiment with your tendencies if you like. Find out a little bit about what you like if one night you think you actually want to try something new. There's no problem with wanting to try things out (if that's what we want, not if we have to force ourselves: it's not right to force ourselves into sex as much as it's not right to repress ourselves). The only thing I ask for your sake is this: keep yourself protected (condoms and any other precautions from side effects), it's VERY important, but beyond that experiment and live as you feel like.

What if I'm gay after all?

Whether you are straight, gay or bisexual is not a problem of any kind; in fact, falling into one of these three is absolutely a blessing that will allow you to feel good about yourself, and you will only gain from it. So be happy.