the_eye_of_anubis
New member
- Joined
- May 3, 2024
- Messages
- 74
Excuse me for bothering again, I know I posted a little while ago but there is one issue that has me a little worried ad I feel the need to let it out.
Last month I found out through a dream that my GD is Bastet/Hagenti. Of course I was and am happy about it, it is an honor for me, besides the fact that I love cats. What worries me is that although she is my GD, I feel a strong attraction to Ipos/Anubis. Some time ago, before that dream, I read a post by a brother who talked about how Anubis was a very sweet and protective God, and from that moment I began to be more and more interested in him. I began to study things about him on JOS and I saw depictions of him everywhere, even on a perfume bottle in a shop, so much so that I thought my GD might be him, until I had that dream.
Now you may be wondering what the problem is...well, the thing is that although I've been assured that my Guardian Demon is Hagenti, I still keep feeling that strong connection with Anubis and I'm terribly afraid that she might be offended by that and think things like "I am their GD and they feel interest in him rather than in me?"
I would never disrespect her and I hope she knows it....I feel very guilty and every day I brood over it.
Is this likely to be traced back to the fact that, having always had a bad relationship with my mother and feeling abandoned by my father, I now seek the affection that my father never gave me in male figures and that I “repudiate” the female figure?
Do you think Hagenti might be bothered by my interest in Anubis? Should I talk to her and explain how I feel? (I meditate on her sigil every night before bed).
Thank you again and Hail Satan. <3
Last month I found out through a dream that my GD is Bastet/Hagenti. Of course I was and am happy about it, it is an honor for me, besides the fact that I love cats. What worries me is that although she is my GD, I feel a strong attraction to Ipos/Anubis. Some time ago, before that dream, I read a post by a brother who talked about how Anubis was a very sweet and protective God, and from that moment I began to be more and more interested in him. I began to study things about him on JOS and I saw depictions of him everywhere, even on a perfume bottle in a shop, so much so that I thought my GD might be him, until I had that dream.
Now you may be wondering what the problem is...well, the thing is that although I've been assured that my Guardian Demon is Hagenti, I still keep feeling that strong connection with Anubis and I'm terribly afraid that she might be offended by that and think things like "I am their GD and they feel interest in him rather than in me?"
I would never disrespect her and I hope she knows it....I feel very guilty and every day I brood over it.
Is this likely to be traced back to the fact that, having always had a bad relationship with my mother and feeling abandoned by my father, I now seek the affection that my father never gave me in male figures and that I “repudiate” the female figure?
Do you think Hagenti might be bothered by my interest in Anubis? Should I talk to her and explain how I feel? (I meditate on her sigil every night before bed).
Thank you again and Hail Satan. <3