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May 2024
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Kitsunebi

I guess I won't be trying to put an end to my life anymore, I received crazy strong signs that I'm somehow still useful despite my issues. I am never going to immediately understand how something like me can be forgiven.

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VanceViktori888

The Gods always see the truth. They can tell the difference between a soul that’s actually guilty of villainy and one made to look that way and think they are.

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AFODO

Very good, keep it up brother.

User92837461

The Gods are always by our side. Keep fighting. Our 1930s figure fought his entire life and now the whole world remembers him and is starting to appreciate his lifelong efforts. We will help you if you need anything.

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Invictus

We can only redeem ourselves while alive. As a Satanist on the path of advancement, in due time, you can make a much greater positive impact for humanity. Give yourself a chance. Confront your problems, and look for a way out. Humbly ask the Gods for guidance. They WILL hear their own.

When I feel burdened, it helps me to stare at Father Zeus's sigil for as long as I need, and through that connection, ask humbly for help.

It's never easy, but only by climbing the mountains of life can we truly heal and advance.

Henu the Great

You are not here (as in, alive and on this planet) for self-pity or self-destruction, but to grow and evolve. Go on, then!

April 2024
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Kitsunebi

And if ever I sounded mad or aggressive to anyone, once again I’m sorry.

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Kitsunebi

Guess I really can't choose the suicide option, fine then. But that doesn't mean I'll be the same ever again walking with those scars of the past to recent events all over me.

I was just mad that my second college year is totalled, my main goal is totalled again and I'm back in the phase of thinking of what the fuck I'm going to do anymore if I can't kill myself.

My reputation as some ace is finished.

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High Priest Zevios Metathronos

Life is going to knock you down either by some mistakes that come from you or by it's design. You are too young to be saying things like your life is totalled and finished even if it looks that way. It's not "over" in anyway.

You won't be the same you'll be better but you have to persist and not give up. Try to look forward and stay positive instead of just damning yourself more and more at this time.

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AFODO

Whatever happened, think outside of the box. Will this really gonna permanently effect your life? You know, you can grow out of any problem. Thinking of suicide because of a series of bad events shows your lack of faith in yourself. Without faith in yourself, how you will gonna do anything? How you will gonna reach anything in your next life even? You know if you can solve this situation you will be permanently be gifted with that endurance and knowledge you needed to get over it. It's a part of building yourself.

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VanceViktori888

This brothers are right, man. I wasted my twenties being a degenerate in more ways then I care to admit openly on this forum, but thankfully I found the Gods when I did. When you’re dedicated to Satan it’s always a case of better to have woken up late than never, and that any pain or upheaval is just the Gods stripping the old skin off your serpent so you can move onward and upward with them again.

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Kitsunebi

I can't have faith in myself knowing that I have done hideous actions I don't want to specifically say of it will bring up triggers. If you want me to try again then expect me to be really angry for self-redemption. Just like my life depends on it. My academic finals are nearing so what I'm going to do to myself to save it all is going to be colossal just on me.

I'm sacrificing my sanity just for a certificate and high paying job. I might not be Firefox anymore in the end but something else, kind of deserving for someone who overstepped wanting to be better right? All I can do now is try to accept the consequences and lessen the damage magnitudes on my end with what I have left.

March 2024
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Kitsunebi

I have to go offline here for about three years because of serious paperwork and system coding and documentation are upon me as I venture into the 3rd and 4th years of tech college. And then that big new job hunt which I do hope I succeed in, I have serious plans to pull off from there like with that weapons research and development job in the computer science department.

I have seen enough signs that I am still loved despite all the bullshit I did since a screwed past life and this one now, so this should be a good sign for me. I am going to miss all of you my brothers and sisters under hell's blessings.

Thank you for letting me grow up under your influence ToZ. Thank you for rebuilding me.

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February 2024
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Kitsunebi

A friend told me when he tried to pull me out of my most darkest times are these words, back when I was in an indecisive rut on what I want to choose for a career: Pick one goal and never let any external factor stop you from reaching it.

In spiritual contexts, I’ve even had the damn enemy try to get me to stop doing fundamental acts that build up to them. They tried to distract me, make me feel bad about it, make it look ugly and put me in many places but know this, it will be the last time and no longer will those enemy entities sway me away from the right discipline to my success ever again.

I’ve found my long lost reasons once again. Thank you community of warriors under Satan.

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Kitsunebi

Lesson learned: Never turn your hobbies into your job. Slap me if this is wrong.

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TruthSeekerXX

You are right. In psychology class I learned that if you turn something that you have intrinsic motivation(ex: hobby) for into also something that you are extrinsically(ex: earning money for something that was once a hobby) motivated to do, then it will become only be for extrinsic motivation over time(only motivated to do it for money not out of curiosity or pleasure).

January 2024
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Kitsunebi

The bravest thing I've ever done is choosing to stay alive at all the times I wanted to die.

Always keep in mind that every day gets brighter and better as long as you work to improve upon them.

Thank you community for getting me back on track.

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Kitsunebi

If you find any past cringe and off posts under my name, I would like you to know that I am past that now and have always been sorry for these times of misconduct. I am busy improving myself from all these self-inflicted ruins upon me even if I know it won't be enough. I hope I do a thousand times better than every bullshit I did.

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