Hello.
I can do magick but it seems to only work when Im in a psychotic break? When I say magick, I mean high level stuff. Its just that when im in these states im often in a lot of stress, overstimulated and it tends to disrupt my life a lot in terms of being "compatible with society", if thats makes sense? It drives me *actual crazy*, in the sense of being dysfunctional.
Im not a zevist. The whole religion thing doesnt appeal to me at all, but im convinced this community at least used to have advanced people here. I havent been here in awhile, but I assume this is still true.
If I can figure out how to do magick without going psycho, theres a lot of opportunities available to me. I just dont have anyone I know to talk to about this. Ive gotten hints from dreams and such, but the *gods* seem to largly leave me to figure it out myself.
The issue is that Im trying to start a new career at the same time also, and it feels like Im being stretched too thin between these paths. Do you think I need to solely commit to just one thing right now?
When im in the right mindset, rituals work within hours. Ive blown out light bulbs by sending energy to them, Ive astral projected to people and messed with their devices without even being consciously aware of it, Ive had people get beaten up physically when they annoyed me. My power hasnt been used in the best ways, but I want to learn to use it more reliably and for the right reasons. I want to make the world a better place.
If anyone has any ideas, lmk. Thx.
Hello!
Magic is a pretty straightforward recipe: a significant amount of energy + directing of such energy.
There are different ways you can derive a high current of energy, and an intense emotional state such as what you described is a condition where this naturally happens. It makes your bioelectricity run high, even if not in the best of ways for you.
Plus, in such a state, your mind is inevitably obsessed with something - the object of your intense emotions. That gives you a sharp point of focus that directs the energy towards it. Wherever you focus intently upon, energy follows towards there.
This is why magic seems to work best for you when you're in what you call psychotic breaks. And this is also why a lot of common people often "perform magic" without willingly performing any specific steps. They're deeply obsessed with something out of anger, sadness, compulsive desire etc, and they end up manifesting their will to some extent, even if that's just someone they hate twisting their ankle or something.
However, this is not only very limited, but can also be psychologically draining and obviously unhealthy - and as you pointed out, socially impractical.
This is why we meditate.
The answer is simple:
- By doing void meditation and visualization exercises daily, your focus will become heightened and you will be able fo focus upon anything at will, without relying on the obsession that comes with an intense emotional state for that.
- By doing power meditations and yoga daily, you will increasingly elevate your energy current - and it will always be there for you to tap upon when you need, without relying on the energy charge that comes with an intense emotional state for that, either.
This is what makes a truly powerful magician, who is truly in control of his magic.
And when you start following a meditation routine, you will find yourself practicing something that looks a lot like what you perceive as "religion". It's basically inevitable.
In the end of the day though, the choice is yours whether to follow Zevism or not. But besides developing an individual relationship with the Gods and improving your spiritual state and skills, becoming a Zevist is also a way you can align yourself with other people who have common goals for the world, which will effectively make you able to make the world a better place, as you say you wish to.
Hope this helps!