Regarding Elements ( questioning my experience)

Apprentice wrote:

It is said that you don't have to exactly vibrate those words, just learn to speak them like HPS Pythia in her audio file.

I did start by just saying them (started with 1 repetition just so I could do it along with HP Pythia in the audio and get a feel for the pronounciation so I could memorize it), but it made me wonder after you said and others you said it made you feel something positive. So (because I didn't experience stronger feeling with Runes until just recently) I decided to use something between talking and vibrating, and experimented with the breathing capacity and how many words I was saying with each breath (1 to 3 before I needed oxygen again). The result was finally something as I begun feeling the vibration (especially from the V and Zevism sounds I think) in my sixth chakra and then the next time I had that vision of Father (so I perceived it as a confirmation He wanted me to continue it that way. I'm feeling pretty confident by now with pronounciation, feeling the vibration, and affirmations (our very own Gentile Command Console! :D ).

No muscle pain either. I worked in the garden that day a bit with a chainsaw and felt great, no exhaustion.

I'm thinking this MAY have to do with the fact that you ended up absorbing two elements that work well together, instead of bombing yourself with one "until-you-feel", like I did. Apparently, if you have Fire and it makes you succeed but don't have Earth to stabilize it, your success won't last and you'll burn all your energy foolishly. While you MAY have had some minor collateral effect you can observe days after the invocation of the Element, I feel you've done real good with your Elemental meditations for the first time. Congrats, man.

I saw some 'footage' with closed eyes, pretty similar to the scenery rushing by if you rotate yourself in the real world with open eyes. It may have something to do with opening the 6th meditation and empowering the 6th.

Couldn't have said it better. I think you're right. But to be honest, I also think you may have found a very excellent way to awaken and fully open your chakras. Your 6th acting like that means it's pretty obviously, to me at least, reacting to your work. IF you experience that again (don't see why not), I think you should focus on that feeling/vision/footage and use it to reach further. The 'rotating' made me think of astral projection, but it may just as well be something that acts like a window on the astral for you. Wouldn't be too surprised if you recently got (or will be) visited by your Guardian Daemon in a more 'official' way, obliterating any doubts you may have.

Side note:
between my experience with Elements lately (finally managed to develop some long term resistance to Earth) and your absorbing Earth and Fire and reporting these effect, I made up my mind on doing almost the same. Perhaps I was being narrow minded when I insisted on using only one Element at a time. If my Earth works on nudging the chakras and Fire certainly helps with confidence, positivity and awakening effects, I may be in for a pleasant surprise. Hope so, at least.
I also have pondered and wondered about my GD long enough, and decided She can only be the one I know best. The other visions mostly confound me right now. As I still lack that strong ability to see, I can't speculate on who should be who. I'll go with my gut feeling. I am certainly super happy my GD seems to be the one I was really attracted to in the first place. Might be something. According to an HP I read from, it's not wrong to assume the ones we are mostly attracted to are also those that we're supposed to be lead by (making the mere "attraction" factor something they themselves may have determined in order for us to go to them in the first place, so it works for me).
Conjectures and theories aside, I'm pretty sure now. Don't know if I have more than one GD (HP Pythia wrote it's a possibility), I'll find out in time as I advance. Of that I am sure.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Said the guy who couldn't feel. :D I'm really glad for you, man.

LOL. Thanks, yup, I'm finally feeling something VERY REAL.

I felt as if the air I inhaled made the Fire burn hotter, just like in the real world. If I didn't breathe deeply anymore, the Fire settled back down.

No surprise there. The Fire Element seems to work very much like normal physical fire to me. The more you nourish it, the more it grows. Just like normal fire, though, make sure you keep it in check. Too much of any Element may give bad consequences.

Back then it felt that someone (my GD?) was joyous and also tried to cheer me up because I had just realised another piece of my puzzle.

0

It feels great when our Gods are pleased with our work, doesn't it? ;)

Before coming to ToZ, I felt like I'm going to lose it. Imagine feeling like this for 10-15 years?

There's a stupid saying I liked: "No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."
We all have different times here. I think a common mistake (was for me at least) is to assume one can become as experienced as an HP shortly after dedicating. Spiritual evolution takes time and understanding. I guess some days (maybe because of unfavorable planets) we feel like we're not making any progress at all, while others we are amazed at how much difference and effect or encounters we noticed. The key is constance. In the past 20 years I haven't meditated EVERY single day. Some days I had so much shit going on I couldn't allow myself to sleep, was stuck in a hospital guarding someone, or had to work my ass with no rest because my 'father' didn't give my mother anymore time to empty of our stuff the house he took from us. I just couldn't sit and meditate or do Rituals. I did what I could, considering everything.
Now I have more time for myself and a job that allows me even time to take a couple minutes nap on a chair (which unlike others I use to meditate). Now I have a steady roof on my head and I understand (after countless disappointments in humans) that I don't NEED to go anywhere else to find myself and true happyness, joy, completion. Now I have enough experience to know what will work and what to me is a waste of time, and only now I understand how badly I lacked the ability to even see Father and our Gods back in the day, and am amazed at how much patience they have when giving me signs I can understand, even if they are just occurrences that manifest in this world physically, as they know I'll pick up on them and understand. Like 6 incense sticks falling on the floor at once, like the way flames move, like the numbers formed by oddly shaped things that resonate with me enough to make me understand the direction I need to go towards.
It's all things that help when you don't have the senses everyone else talks about. The senses take more time, but you can read the world, as it still is a vector of our Gods' and Goddesses' messages.
To be honest I feel I advanced more when I listened more to these than when I tried to "look through an obscured scope". I was also seriously mastering the trance state, like I never could before. I only stopped because I was being strongly harassed by someone and, basically, I spent the whole year after that looking after myself. The same year I started seeing Demons in visions again, and knew I was getting closer to something.

Now I am, once again, repeating a cycle I've done enough times feeling nothing: awakenings, yoga, void meditation, Elements.. only, this time I feel something is definitely going to work and unlock me. I KNOW I'm gonna make it. If not soon, then a little after that, but it's gonna happen.
My priority now is listening to my GD and using the most perfect energies for the job of unlocking my chakras, the dormant ones that took long enough to stir and wake up. It is obviously no easy task for me, but I am no longer fooled by anything that wants me to become distracted and ineffective. I eradicated all that in my life, and now I can finally dedicate myself entirely to becoming the best Zevism I can be.

(And, sorry, maybe unneeded paragraph, just felt like telling you how my life has transformed. Maybe you'll pick up something that will make sense to you and help you improve in some way as well.)

Today, the effects of Fire are tuned down a bit. It may be that Water reacted. No depression though. I don't feel exhilarated like yesterday but I still feel that something has definitely changed. I'm shaken away from the old path of thoughts and feelings and my body can withstand cold better. Also, the area of 6th and Pineal ache today. Yesterday there was no ache.

How many days has it been since you absorbed both Fire and Earth? I strongly suggest (if you aren't doing it already) that you write down somewhere everything you observe in yourself. Immediate changes, visions, effects, localized heat in your body (like a particular limb perhaps), and date every entry. This seems like stuff you'll remember clearly, but in one year time you may re-read your own entry and see just how much different things feel. Visions you forgot about may hold new meaning for you, effects and the reasons they occur will be clearer, and so on. You may draw shapes you see instead of describing them, they may mean a completely different thing later in time. In my personal opinion, symbolism is extremely important when you don't have the strongest (or sucky) astral senses. The world is the paper on which the Gods write what they want you to know, there are messages you won't notice unless they want you to pay particular attention to them. I didn't notice a number displayed in my car until I asked the Gods to give me a sign to help me understand who my GD is. When I saw the number the same day I also instinctively knew what to do with it, and I was amazed to find out Her name. (The mess I did after that, finding also another name if using the number and counting differently, was entirely my fault as I was overthinking it, but the first result was super clear to me. Just go with your guts and see what turns up.)

Dude, sorry if sometimes I start ranting about unrelated things in these posts. When I type my mind tends to organize thought in such a way that old "folders" in my head fall open on the floor and I pay attention to something that might be important to add. (Obviously this is fixable with Void lol, but a lot of the time this turns out to be useful so I let the folders display and tell me what it'll be. If I find it a pointless information I'll just dismiss it as such.)

Take care!

HAIL FATHER ZEUS AND THE POWERS OF HELL!!!!

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I'm feeling pretty confident by now with pronounciation, feeling the vibration, and affirmations (our very own Gentile Command Console!

Command console is your meditation and workings where you program the energy, manifestations can be observed during the game. This way the analogy makes sense.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

In the past 20 years I haven't meditated EVERY single day. Some days I had so much shit going on I couldn't allow myself to sleep, was stuck in a hospital guarding someone, or had to work my ass with no rest because my 'father' didn't give my mother anymore time to empty of our stuff the house he took from us. I just couldn't sit and meditate or do Rituals. I did what I could, considering everything.

I hear you. Although I haven't been Zevism for long, I've been there, too. There have been periods with so much shit going on, you fall asleep trying to do your basic AC+AoP around midnight. Some days I couldn't manage even that. This is what evolution is all about. You will feel bad about your situation so you make a few adjustments and finally MAKE the time to meditate, feeling proud afterwards.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

And, sorry, maybe unneeded paragraph, just felt like telling you how my life has transformed.

Enough with them excuses, said it already. Actually, I was just thinking about that phenomenon of writing out your thoughts and feelings. It helps guys like us clarify and find a way forward. It also has some mutual benefits. We can learn from others mistakes or realize something suddenly.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

How many days has it been since you absorbed both Fire and Earth? I strongly suggest (if you aren't doing it already) that you write down somewhere everything you observe in yourself.

On 29th of February I did Earth and approx. 24 hours later on 1st of March I did Fire. After the initial euphoria on 2nd of March, Water obivously reacted and on 3d of March I felt a little bit of melancholy but nothing depressive. And yes, I'm writing it all down already.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Perhaps I was being narrow minded when I insisted on using only one Element at a time.

You may be right. When I got the urge to invoke Fire after Earth, I also noticed that they are not opposites like invoking Water after Fire would be. I could use some more of them both if my natal chart situation can be trusted.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I feel you've done real good with your Elemental meditations for the first time. Congrats, man.

Didn't burn the house down, didn't burn myself out. I think that qualifies as success LOL :D
Anyway, stupid jokes aside, I'm happy with the results and longing for more already. I'm one of those 'all-or-nothing' types. This is where a good balance between your urges/desires and common sense really pays off.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I also have pondered and wondered about my GD long enough, and decided She can only be the one I know best. The other visions mostly confound me right now.

I would leave this topic alone if I were you. You just concentrate on warfare, working on yourself and aspire to attain high standards and purity. IMO, this way you'll show the gods you are a worthy business partner and holding it down. Such things won't go overlooked in Hell. Regarding visions, you should ask your GD to communicate with you in a way you could understand.
One day I was contemplating a subject hesitantly, there was a song on the radio and suddenly the music stopped for a brief moment and a male voice said "It's okay". It was a part of that particular song, of course, but I felt clearly that my attention was directed to that exact moment. I wasn't exactly following the song before. This way I got my confirmation.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I guess some days (maybe because of unfavorable planets) we feel like we're not making any progress at all, while others we are amazed at how much difference and effect or encounters we noticed. The key is constance.

Bingo. Consistently, every day, not expecting any results. Doing things like Ritual proudly because you have a higher duty. Like a warrior charging into battle, knowing all too well this one may be his last one but doing it with fiery passion nevertheless.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Like 6 incense sticks falling on the floor at once, like the way flames move, like the numbers formed by oddly shaped things that resonate with me enough to make me understand the direction I need to go towards.

I see 666 and 66 everywhere. With the 666 everything is clear but the 66 is bothering me.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Dude, sorry if sometimes I start ranting about unrelated things in these posts.

Here we go again. Stop the excuses. This process of ranting can have mutual benefits. Don't forget that.

Best of luck to you, bro.

Apprentice wrote:

I hear you. Although I haven't been Zevism for long, I've been there, too. There have been periods with so much shit going on, you fall asleep trying to do your basic AC+AoP around midnight. Some days I couldn't manage even that. This is what evolution is all about. You will feel bad about your situation so you make a few adjustments and finally MAKE the time to meditate, feeling proud afterwards.

I've been having trouble making time with all the work and different shifts, especially the ones that deprive me of enough sleep, but in the end I managed to get a pretty solid routine working. Rituals in the evening, AC and AoP multiple times a day (these are something I'm just so used to do it takes nearly no time), and everything else I squeeze whenever I can. Mornings are the greatest for Elemental meditation as I'm still recovering from sleep and more open to energies before noon, the days off provide with great afternoons of Void meditation in various short timed sessions so I can purposely 'awake' myself from it and make me restart it as many times as I can, and opening chakras by focusing on them I can more often than not do at work when there's nobody around to talk to me. I would do Rituals at work but, other than getting disturbed by people, I tried using the paintable version on my phone and the last few letters couldn't be blotted out. Figured it was an enemy attack so I do it on my computer when I'm home, normally around midnight.

Enough with them excuses, said it already.

SORRY ABOUT THAT!!!! XD Ok, ok.. I'm done.

Actually, I was just thinking about that phenomenon of writing out your thoughts and feelings. It helps guys like us clarify and find a way forward. It also has some mutual benefits. We can learn from others mistakes or realize something suddenly.

That's the greatest benefit in communication between Zevism. It makes it faster for us to learn by comparing notes and sharing experiences. I know it WON'T be exactly the same for everyone, so probably not all the information will be useful to everyone, but there's patterns we can follow and hints that make sense. In my case and yours, I guess, a lot of energy talk from others won't help much, but I think you and I will soon somehow learn, possibly in different ways or through different experiences, how to develop a feel for energy in a basic way, so we will be able to take into consideration all that shitload of information that made sense to others until then and seemed useless to us.

On 29th of February I did Earth and approx. 24 hours later on 1st of March I did Fire. After the initial euphoria on 2nd of March, Water obivously reacted and on 3d of March I felt a little bit of melancholy but nothing depressive. And yes, I'm writing it all down already.

Good. I feel that writing it all down not only documents your progress, but also forces your mind to go through it all once again and brush up pieces of information you may have initially dismissed as unimportant. Personal considerations, sudden thoughts that may be coming from our Gods in order to push us towards further understanding, it all gets written down. When you advance and feel like comparing notes with your older and less experienced self, you can see things that MAY hold a different and clearer meaning because your more experience is letting you see whatever you missed before.
As for Element meditations, I think it's more than clear to me right now that no matter what Element we absorb, its opposite will always counter after a while. I don't know where it was, now, but I'm pretty sure there's a meditation in the ToZ that makes you absorb all the Elements into different chakras. Tried it when I didn't feel a thing, but I will again after I'm done unblocking the ones I'm working with.

You may be right. When I got the urge to invoke Fire after Earth, I also noticed that they are not opposites like invoking Water after Fire would be. I could use some more of them both if my natal chart situation can be trusted.

Whatever the natal chart situation is, I don't think we should think of it as a limitation. As I said before (and I may be wrong), "guidelines". One thing that however I don't understand and that I haven't found in older posts/topics: what exactly is the Element reported in each Demon's description? Does that have to do with our assigned GD (as in, we normally have the same dominant Element)?
(Yeah yeah.. I'm not gonna stress with it. I'll eventually find out when I develop better senses. Just curious what that stands for, cuz I would assume Demons are perfectly balanced in every single Element... maybe it's a personal favorite? Also I noticed that different Element in their description usually means a different "set" of abilities.. ever noticed that?)

I'm one of those 'all-or-nothing' types. This is where a good balance between your urges/desires and common sense really pays off.

All or nothing is the only thing that makes sense to me whenever I tried something new. I'm guessing the only mistake here would be to take a known effect as 'granted' because I absorb more energy. I'm thinking the saying "less is more" here applies. Gently nudging chakras with Elements seem to work better for me than flooding my entire being with 'bonecrushing' Earth, as you put it. Bonecrushing surely may make one able to hold the Element better, but it won't help with localized purposes, like blocked chakras.

Elements aside, today I have long hours of work (hence I'm writing you now from the computer as it's impossible to quote/unquote with a dam touch on an android lol) and I think I will not use Elements for a change. I want to see if (as someone suggested it in my other post) I can use my own energy to feel (surely will feel), spin and unlock blocked chakras. I might as well go back to white energy instead of gold. Gold is great, it's the way I saw Father both times, but it may be distracting to visualize. White I have used for a lot of time before going gold, and as it holds all colors it is probably going to work better.
Also, I don't like the idea of relying so much on Elements. They're great, but I need to work in a slower way in order to open myself. Void meditation will be increased too, I have to prove myself to Father as capable, like you said too.

I would leave this topic alone if I were you. You just concentrate on warfare, working on yourself and aspire to attain high standards and purity. IMO, this way you'll show the gods you are a worthy business partner and holding it down. Such things won't go overlooked in Hell. Regarding visions, you should ask your GD to communicate with you in a way you could understand.
One day I was contemplating a subject hesitantly, there was a song on the radio and suddenly the music stopped for a brief moment and a male voice said "It's okay". It was a part of that particular song, of course, but I felt clearly that my attention was directed to that exact moment. I wasn't exactly following the song before. This way I got my confirmation.

I know, and you're right. Yesterday at work I have received more signs, but they brought me to different answers, as in different Demons' names (one in particular was very 'evident', as it almost spelled the name of another Demon that had caught my interest all of a sudden). In the end I got confused and realized I was overthinking it. I will know for sure once I can ask them myself. For the time being, I have to open myself and work hard either in warfare and on myself. There's nothing I want more than to be with the Gods everyday of the rest of eternity, so I'm doing what's required.

Bingo. Consistently, every day, not expecting any results. Doing things like Ritual proudly because you have a higher duty. Like a warrior charging into battle, knowing all too well this one may be his last one but doing it with fiery passion nevertheless.

In retrospetion, I think the most successful times in my meditations/rituals/training have always been the ones where I wasn't expecting anything to happen. If I think and expect too much (or too little or nothing) I am literally fucking up my own work. By not expecting anything I create a "void"... in terms of quantum physics this sometimes is thought of as "creation", as everything transforms, but to create you must start with the void. Just a thought, but it did help me willingly summoning visions in the past. I guess one could even just call it "trance state", as you lower your brainwaves and your expectations/distracting brain activity along with them.

I see 666 and 66 everywhere. With the 666 everything is clear but the 66 is bothering me.

Consider this too. If you see 666 it is rather clear most of the time, but when you see 66 maybe your mind just wants to see the missing 6 too much and you get disappointed in the message. Maybe that wasn't necessarily a message, or it's the enemy making pay attention to something you're not supposed to care much for. This is why "universe messages" need to be sifted carefully with reason, in my opinion. If you, for instance, read a lot about Demons and some details really felt good/familiar/positive/attractive, and you see those messages suggesting those details, it MIGHT be the Demon those details are related to telling you to "go for it". Whatever "go for it" means. I don't think it's necessarily meaning "I'm your GD", but perhaps a skill that Demon has is something you might learn more about? Know what I'm saying?
Yet again, messages can get really fucked up, so one should just focus on opening the astral senses and not care about what the universe may or may not say if we are easily confused. SOME messages, repeated multiple times, in different ways, strong enough, may be important. Not all, but some. You know which ones those are.

Here we go again. Stop the excuses. This process of ranting can have mutual benefits. Don't forget that.

Ranting is good. Noted. ;)

Go easy with the Elements, let me know how it goes. :)

HAIL FATHER ZEUS AND THE POWERS OF HELL!!!!

Shael wrote:

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

...

You can tell what kind of element you are dominant in by looking at your natal chart. Every planet is in a certain sign, and every sign has an element assigned to it. On astro.com when you do your chart, it will be conveniently marked in colors. Blue is water, green is earth, red is fire, yellow is air. You are dominant in the element that you have the most planets in.

In general, if something feels good to you then that's a positive sign. Just make sure to regularly take a few days break between element invocations and observe closely what effects it has on you. Element stuff can often show hours or days later, so taking breaks will ensure you dont overwhelm yourself with any particular element.

My chart is equal on all elemants. How do I figure that out?

Ramier108666 wrote:

My chart is equal on all elemants. How do I figure that out?

That's a really good thing, actually.
I'm not sure how you'd determine it in this case. I'd imagine perhaps looking at what elements your AC and MC are and "counting" them the same as planets, may help in finding a dominant element. Another thing might be to count your chart ruler more than your other planets and determine the dominant element that way.

Shael wrote:

Ramier108666 wrote:

My chart is equal on all elemants. How do I figure that out?

That's a really good thing, actually.
I'm not sure how you'd determine it in this case. I'd imagine perhaps looking at what elements your AC and MC are and "counting" them the same as planets, may help in finding a dominant element. Another thing might be to count your chart ruler more than your other planets and determine the dominant element that way.

That's what I did actually. But to state it openly, my chart ruler is Scorpio, with a stellium. Scorpio is water, so would that indicate more thorough idea if that is my element?

Shael wrote:

Ramier108666 wrote:

My chart is equal on all elemants. How do I figure that out?

That's a really good thing, actually.
I'm not sure how you'd determine it in this case. I'd imagine perhaps looking at what elements your AC and MC are and "counting" them the same as planets, may help in finding a dominant element. Another thing might be to count your chart ruler more than your other planets and determine the dominant element that way.

Shael wrote:

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

...

You can tell what kind of element you are dominant in by looking at your natal chart. Every planet is in a certain sign, and every sign has an element assigned to it. On astro.com when you do your chart, it will be conveniently marked in colors. Blue is water, green is earth, red is fire, yellow is air. You are dominant in the element that you have the most planets in.

In general, if something feels good to you then that's a positive sign. Just make sure to regularly take a few days break between element invocations and observe closely what effects it has on you. Element stuff can often show hours or days later, so taking breaks will ensure you dont overwhelm yourself with any particular element.

Sorry Shael, I just looked at my chart more thorough. Only three elements are predominant: Earth, Air, and Water.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I tried using the paintable version on my phone and the last few letters couldn't be blotted out. Figured it was an enemy attack so I do it on my computer when I'm home, normally around midnight

Get yourself a painting app and make a JPEG file out of the Final Ritual. I converted the pdf file into JPEG with inverted colors (black background, white letters). And since Galaxy Note comes with a pen, blotting the letters is precise and addictive :P .

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I've been having trouble making time with all the work and different shifts, especially the ones that deprive me of enough sleep, but in the end I managed to get a pretty solid routine working.

Sounds good. I had so much going on lately, ToZ rituals in addition to warfare and personal workings, plus adapting with the added Elements. Actually I feel like I need to take it easy for a couple of days, performing essentials only. Doing too much at once is counterproductive and makes one loose perspective.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

In my case and yours, I guess, a lot of energy talk from others won't help much, but I think you and I will soon somehow learn, possibly in different ways or through different experiences, how to develop a feel for energy in a basic way, so we will be able to take into consideration all that shitload of information that made sense to others until then and seemed useless to us.

I wouldn't use the word 'useless' here. For example, if there is a warning for a ritual against getting overwhelming, then it is a smart idea to take heed of it. The same goes for feeling the energy. I can't say that there are too many cases where I've felt something. A lack of feeling, I presume, doesn't invalidate a working or ritual but the stance taken by your rational mind can.
Regarding warnings, these saved me while trying the Elements for the first time. I wouldn't be so happy if I had inhaled Fire for 8 or 10 times.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Does that have to do with our assigned GD (as in, we normally have the same dominant Element)? (Yeah yeah.. I'm not gonna stress with it. I'll eventually find out when I develop better senses. Just curious what that stands for, cuz I would assume Demons are perfectly balanced in every single Element... maybe it's a personal favorite? Also I noticed that different Element in their description usually means a different "set" of abilities.. ever noticed that?)

Yup, I've noticed. Don't overthink it, answers will come.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

In retrospetion, I think the most successful times in my meditations/rituals/training have always been the ones where I wasn't expecting anything to happen. If I think and expect too much (or too little or nothing) I am literally fucking up my own work. By not expecting anything I create a "void"...

There you go. However, I guess there is nothing wrong with positive expectations as long as you don't become obsessed. Just don't take your rational self too seriously.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

but when you see 66 maybe your mind just wants to see the missing 6 too much and you get disappointed in the message. Maybe that wasn't necessarily a message, or it's the enemy making pay attention to something you're not supposed to care much for.

Like why is my phone battery often exactly at 66% when I look at it. Two days ago my wife showed me something on her phone and there it was again, 66% battery! There are many more examples of 66, I just don't remember all of them. Add 777, 555 and 11:11 to that.
I've learned to go only by 666. This is as clear as it can get.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Go easy with the Elements, let me know how it goes.

For the last two days I have been thinking about how to continue. It seems that I need to give it some more time to stabilize because, obviously my Water still has strong waves in it. I think I'm gonna do the Earth next after some time and give it a couple of days to settle before burning with Fire again.

Take care, brother.

Apprentice wrote:

Get yourself a painting app and make a JPEG file out of the Final Ritual.

Not necessary anymore, the thing started working. ;) I'll do it anyway just to make sure I don't lose anything.

Doing too much at once is counterproductive and makes one loose perspective.

True. Priority is a must here, Rituals and working on ourselves takes precedence. I guess the good thing about the Elements is that, being powerful energies, you don't have to do them everyday of course, using the time you need to stabilize with them (a few days generally is a good idea) to work on other things. Just be careful not to mistake one effect from something else as them, or vice versa. Confusion sometime can spell disaster.

I wouldn't use the word 'useless' here.

I don't mean the useful hints and safe procedures, just the related experiences of others (not Zevism actually, this goes back to the early 2000s when I'd talk about these things and abilities with people who claimed they had some). They related feeling a lot of energy in some areas, etc. A lot of that came from interacting with me (through my thoughtforms) and I begun to wonder why on Earth they'd feel it so intensely.
Safety is the first thing of course. The first Element I inhaled I only did for a breath to go very slowly with it, given the information from HP Pythia.

Don't overthink it, answers will come.

I normally overthink things a lot (Air people lol) but lately I'm learning how to slow down a lot and wait. Answers will come when I'm ready for them.

Like why is my phone battery often exactly at 66% when I look at it. Two days ago my wife showed me something on her phone and there it was again, 66% battery! There are many more examples of 66, I just don't remember all of them. Add 777, 555 and 11:11 to that.
I've learned to go only by 666. This is as clear as it can get.

Have you considered the fact that the phone battery will never display 666%? XD Think it's my turn to tell you not to overthink, Bro. Father Zeus is present, that much is beyond clear. Just keep training yourself. In some time from now, maybe a year, maybe months, we will be sharing information on details we both saw from Demons we work with. I'm feeling very positive about it.

For the last two days I have been thinking about how to continue. It seems that I need to give it some more time to stabilize because, obviously my Water still has strong waves in it. I think I'm gonna do the Earth next after some time and give it a couple of days to settle before burning with Fire again.

I think you should just take it easier for now. You already had great success (in my opinion) using Earth and Fire and observing a positive difference in yourself. Water follows Fire, that much is obvious. Maybe you're not feeling bad effects from Air because it's the Element you have lots of already, so you're readier when getting Earth. My suggestions for now is: do what you know works on you. Rituals give you a buzz? I read older posts, people report about the same effects I myself could observe. What other things make you feel, or are you particularly sure that you can always use with a certain 'mastery'? For me it's the 'astral scent' (I really need a name other than Clairalience lol), and astral clone (thoughtforms). Over the last couple of days I think I picked up some... abnormal scents. At work, where battery acid flows in the air sometimes, I smelled a nice cake and there was no cake anywhere. Then other scents. Some I just don't know what they might belong to.
And I finally decided to heed the words of those who suggested I should use my own energy 'against' me to feel, so yesterday I created a thoughtform for myself (the only HARD thing for me is picking a name! :lol: ) but I think it's a good idea. I'm planning to feed it and grow it and keep it(/her). White magick one of course, I programmed it to help me with opening and unblocking the chakras, particularly the head ones.
And you know what?
As I was chanting her name and imprinting her purpose, I FELT what I can only think was my pineal gland. It was in the back compared to the sixth chakra's location, a little to the right. Like a tiny spark. It felt 'like a small bit of its cocoon got disintegrated'. I'm thinking it's detoxicating with my energy. This, I never felt before. I'm feeling positive, Bro. Very.

HAIL FATHER ZEUS AND THE POWERS OF HELL!!!!

Ramier108666 wrote:

That's what I did actually. But to state it openly, my chart ruler is Scorpio, with a stellium. Scorpio is water, so would that indicate more thorough idea if that is my element?

If you have your Pluto in Scorpio as well then I would say so, yes.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I guess the good thing about the Elements is that, being powerful energies, you don't have to do them everyday of course, using the time you need to stabilize with them (a few days generally is a good idea) to work on other things. Just be careful not to mistake one effect from something else as them, or vice versa. Confusion sometime can spell disaster.

I think my Water overreacted and made me feel shitty for a couple of days. How can one avoid this turbulence in elements? I felt like a king for 2-3 days and then the Water put my happy bonfire out :D
I think I'm gonna try single Elements from now on in order to get to know them better. Haven't decided yet what I'm gonna do next, Fire or Earth. Definitely low reps, wait 3-4 days and then decide what's next.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Have you considered the fact that the phone battery will never display 666%? XD Think it's my turn to tell you not to overthink, Bro. Father Zeus is present, that much is beyond clear. Just keep training yourself. In some time from now, maybe a year, maybe months, we will be sharing information on details we both saw from Demons we work with. I'm feeling very positive about it.

Thanks, brother. We are both Air so it is easier to understand what the other is going through.
I'm looking forward to these experiences with the Demons.
By the way, I read a very informative post from another brother lately that made me think. Maybe it really is a good thing we don't have our astral senses open yet. Maybe we just aren't ready? I mean, it is not like beyond this invisible veil there are only Powers of Hell waiting to greet us. I'm under the impression that, on the astral, there is all kinds of shit floating around: enemy thoughtforms, so-called angels and whatnot. And because you have a hard time with Void (me sometimes too in that I can't let go), it is currently better for us to stay out of it until we are ready. The sheer volume of shit coming through may just be overwhelming for an inexperienced operator who is unable to tune out of it all. This may lead to insanity. We have to evolve ourselves and get ready. Just my thoughts.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Rituals give you a buzz? I read older posts, people report about the same effects I myself could observe.

So far no buzz from these. Invoking Fire gave me a BUZZ. After a passionate Ritual session I feel like I've accomplished something, I feel proud to serve Satan.
Today was the second day I felt weird, tired, not interested at all, sleep deprived (despite sleeping solid 9 hours). Symptoms are basically the same when someone is lacking Fire. So I finished my work reluctantly and went to meditate (Saturn hour is probably the best for Ritual). Did four of them, an AC, a personal working and somehow felt instantly better. Feels like my Fire woke up. It may also be that some enemy scum was draining me. Yesterday I felt that these sumbitches tried to make me feel down. Returning Curses sorted it out. Strange. I have to remember to take some time, do Void and look around inside myself to get a picture of whattaF is going on at moments like this one. Hard to do if you have deadlines and a lot of work waiting, though.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I FELT what I can only think was my pineal gland. It was in the back compared to the sixth chakra's location, a little to the right. Like a tiny spark. It felt 'like a small bit of its cocoon got disintegrated'. I'm thinking it's detoxicating with my energy. This, I never felt before. I'm feeling positive, Bro. Very.

The same location was aching when I did opening the 6th recently. Sometimes the pain was in the middle of the brain (6th), sometimes only pineal (a little to the right), sometimes both.
Your thoughtform experiment sounds interesting, I hope it works nicely for you.

Look after yourself, brother.

Shael wrote:

Ramier108666 wrote:

That's what I did actually. But to state it openly, my chart ruler is Scorpio, with a stellium. Scorpio is water, so would that indicate more thorough idea if that is my element?

If you have your Pluto in Scorpio as well then I would say so, yes.

Yes that's also correct. Four planets in Scorpio

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Just don't overdo it and keep your eyes open for any effect (I already know you don't have troubles with that).

Thank you for the vote of confidence. I haven't yet felt the time to be right to take a second lesson in Elemental training. A lot of things have transpired during these days. As you may know, a lot of countries have closed their borders and declared emergencies. I was busy taking care of business, preparations and warfare. The funny thing is, regarding this virus, I don't feel afraid at all. I'm not stupid either. We live in a scarcely populated countryside. For some reason, I have always felt the urge to live like this, away from any cities or even towns.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I even developed 'exploding head syndrome'

Well, fuck me. I've heard thunder roaring righ before falling into sleep multiple times! Only that I haven't been harassed in the way you describe, at least not to my knowledge. I even didn't know that this is a syndrome with a name, LOL.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Yes, so I can aim my most condensed Fire to something that's not able to take advantage of its invisibility anymore!

Tread carefully and avoid delusions. If I have understood everything correctly, you are better off becoming an adept in Void and the ability of tuning out.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

while I use the thoughtform to stimulate and open my blocked/inactive chakras. What do you think? Doable? Suggestions?

Dunno, man. I'd stick with the classics if I were you. For some reason I'm getting a feeling that the classics work more efficiently if you void yourself and then FOCUS. Remember, there are no shortcuts.
Good luck and take care.

Long time no write, brother. Bet you already thought I forgot :lol:

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Classics indeed, but right not I don't really feel like mingling with Elements, or thoughtforms.

I hope you understood that I had classical chakra opening excercises in mind.

Oh boy, times have been tough lately. I had to prep with my family for possible lockdowns etc. I had also imagined that if this crisis/quarantine hits, I'd have all the time for myself, meditations and the warfare. Boy was I wrong. Because we are self-employed and producing food, our workload hit the roof and beyond. All the people are idle at homes now and they all need to eat. You get the picture.

Anyway, during this battle of work I noticed that my imaginary wheels are starting to wobble (too much air right there). So I re-read the descriptions of the Elements and decided to play around with Earth. Did 5 inhales daily, three days in a row. After the second day I had joint pains in the evening. Nothing major, just electric, light to moderate sensation of pain in my lumbar, knees and shoulders. After a nights sleep, the pain went away. I feel GROUNDed now, mentally more stable, no bubbling, able to concentrate and work. And also, Void comes easier. On the other hand, my limits have suddenly become very clear-cut: if my energy is up and it's time to call it a day, I get strong reluctance to work any further. Wasn't like that before. We all know what a bad ground can do to electronics, right :mrgreen:

Earth is nothing like Fire. First encounter with Fire felt like I was high, sparkling around. Earth to me feels calm, appeasing and stabilizing. ANCHORING. Before, my mind during the day was like the inside of a plasma ball - thoughts bouncing around randomly at speed. I could calm it down in order to meditate and do warfare but my success was intermittent. Things are better now. I thank you for encouraging me to experiment.

The need has presented itself to do some retribution work to a person who has wronged my family. I'm thinking now, how could I use the Elements to do that and how to do it right so I don't harm myself in the process. Any ideas?

You take good care of yourself, brother.

Apprentice wrote:

Long time no write, brother. Bet you already thought I forgot :lol:

Truth be told.. lol no, but I knew that with all this 'change' going on you were probably busy taking care of your family.

I'm going to have my shifts cut in half from next week (suppliers don't resupply as much or as quickly as well) so I'm thinking "alright, I'm gonna smash meditations and Rituals" but there is also a lot of work to be done in the house, so I'll have make sure I'm using every hour available to do all that we must do. Rituals, I just doubled my effort and I'm going to triple it soon, I feel my effort is either paying off. Somehow got news from Zeus, felt Air Element easily and it was great, and I managed to work out my Guardian Daemon's name (already have known for about a year but I was postponing accepting it out of stupidity. Not anymore).

Try getting a good routine out for yourself and make sure you keep up. Timing is everything sometimes, just make sure you ALSO get some little daily time off of EVERYTHING because the mind needs to breathe peace, other than sleep of course.

Pain the joints after invoking Earth? It finally caught up with you too, it seems. I've done something similar (very stupid): I forced the Cobra stance in Yoga and added an extra Earth push to myself. The reason is that I always felt some kind of 'knot' in the lumbar part of my back and I wanted to do something to get rid of it. The result was two weeks of waking in a slightly odd way, impossibility to lay in bed on my stomach without feeling stars moving in the lower back and just now I'm noticing it's lessening in pain while it, however, still bothers me after I've been too stiff in any rigid stance. Serves me right for pushing Earth.
Which, however, DOES lead me again to the conclusion that the lacking Element is actually the one we're the least ready to face, not the one we have too much of. I don't know for sure, but the official theory that states you should hit someone with his/her dominant Element, to overimbalance such Element and cause some kind of damage, just doesn't add up to me.
To give you a stupid example: in videogames you don't fight a fire monster by using fire spells. You use the opposite, ice spells, to which the monster is unprepared and weak. This might be stupid videogame logic but I think it works also in reality. Mainly because I've been using and absorbing great quantities of Air and the result is that I feel fucking great. I've been learning about myself, getting more confident, almost voluntarily summoned visions and met another Goddess after an Ritual (don't know the name, I assumed it MIGHT as well be a female version of Zeus, don't ask why He would show up in female form, but the white toga and the aura were so electric I couldn't think of anyone else at the time). All in all, Air has been awesome, and I don't feel the slightest problem from it.
(I wrote a topic on Air lately, things are becoming clearer and I'm discovering things.)

Glad that your Void comes easier, but I don't know how much the Elements you used may be responsible for your improvement or changed you that much. I think Void comes well only when you decide it's going to work well. Sometimes I can't help but think I'm just wasting my time using it, and I accomplish nothing. Other times I know I'm only steps away from accomplishing and that's enough to let me close the distance and summon visions or sometimes thoughts that explain visually the answer I'm looking for.

The Elements (in my opinion at least) have a supporting effect. If you find Earth makes you calm and help you calm the mind and slow down the thoughts in order to enter a good trance state perhaps, go with it. Fire, I wouldn't rely on it. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing for a lot of things, but in my experience it's very short lived. You feel great today, tomorrow you want to change Element because it disappoints you with its inconstant effect. Maybe this can't be said for Fire dominant people, but I can't speak for them, I feel great only with Air really. Tried them all for years, this is what I believe now.

As for your enemy awaiting punishment, I'm assuming you're going for the kill, so the common knowledge of the Elements demands that I answer point out that Fire is probably the most effective for that goal. That said, I have tried doing this with Fire on somehow who threatened my family and let's just say that I hope I didn't royally disappoint the Goddess that was trying to help me learn to use my murderous side. To use Fire you have to become very close to it, without burning yourself and without exhausting your own willpower in putting into action your purpose.
Another source (on the gentilenation website) mentions Earth as the Element for death, stating Death is the one that slows down to a halt the enemies heart. I like the concept, but the story is again the same. Unless you can stand Earth with no problem and keep it up until the working has been successful, it's not going to be a very ideal path. And Water, there's those that mention cryokinesis like it's something so easy to succeed at, but I personally couldn't stand the cold lol, no matter how many times I tried it.

This is probably where you need to read my other topic on Air, and especially the great answers given by GhostintheMachine and Stormblood, who gave very valid and insightful examples of how to use Air as an offensive Element.

Other than the Elements, there's the Death spell in the Sorcery page of the ToZ but it deals with grey aura I think, and it's not something that I feel I've had great experience or success with, so it's not my first choice.
Do add affirmation though, I'm finding they have more power than we give them credit. Remember what we said about the "console command" in reality? Something like that. It can still be considered pretty advanced, in a way, but I think the result will vary according to the intensity of one's aura and willpower mostly.

"Now, Apprentice, choose your weapon" ...ok, sorry, had to say it at some point. :P

I'm always taking care of myself, the only things that disturb me are people's stupidity and the ignorance of those who blindly follow orders, without thinking. Do take care of yourself too, Brother, and get some rest. We all need it in this period, just enough not to overdo too much.

We basically hijacked the other thread, so I came back here.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

When I give up a bad behaviour that's making me slow down even more I suddenly find a very clear message 'advertising' that bad behaviour so it'll make me want to continue, or at least make it VERY hard to keep my focus on my decision to get rid of it for good. This has happened from a particular scene in a movie that was on TV the moment I switched the channel for someone else, to stuff like my ex deciding to tell me something that enforced the self destructive thoughts the exact day I had decided to never even think about anything self destructive again.

I've had my share of such relapses. Mainly related to cigarettes and general alcohol consumption. Finally I just reached a point that made me realize something. I realized that my previous decisions (to quit something, for example) had been shallow.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

The thing I find most sad about this is that I 'feel' Greys more present than our Gods, almost like Greys are neighbors and our Gods live in a country with very bad internet so we can only Skype one second every who knows how long.
And no, aura protection won't help against this. It's definitely good for health and safety as I do it everyday more than once but thoughts and negated contact with Demons are still a valid enough weapon that works against me. I'm trying to focus on things (like the Runes) that represent a serious threat to the church since always, hoping it'll somehow make the difference.

Here, the ability of tuning out comes in handy. This comes with time and practice, I suppose.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Years after that, I realized I don't breathe like most people, and I only need tiny baby breaths for basic bodily functions. With physical effort (like after a run, as I don't normally jog or run during the day) I need to intake maybe 20 large breaths to calm myself down to almost normality.

It feels like you are writing about me, brother. I take baby breaths of air whenever I'm concentrating on something and even driving. I feel I'm getting slightly anxious behind the wheel so I try to take long, slow drags. People around me tell me that I snore at night and that I have shallow breathing which often stops completely during sleep. I'm having this symptom checked soon. Also, I don't remember feeling refreshed when waking up. Since childhood. Like never! And since basic school, whenever I'm in a crowded room listening to a teacher or speaker, I feel like I'm gonna nod off. I really have to struggle to keep myself awake. It may obviously be caused by oxygen content running low in the room (and alas in my blood).

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I can feel you're clearly not valuing yourself and your efforts very much, may be the work, stress, all this crap pulled on us in this period, but don't lower your expectations of yourself by any means.

It's actually quite easy to do if you aren't evolved enough to have bi-directional communication with the Powers of Hell. And some grey influences every now and then don't make it easier either. Actually it got better after I became strong enough to hold my position, tell them to F off and tune out. Gotta have faith and keep on grinding.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I am not yet nearly as good as I thought I would eventually get by time time I reached this age

Yup. Many times I get the feeling that I've missed the train. But then again, Father Zeus is big on patience.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

and I know very well how easy it can be to feel discouraged when we have people like HPs Zevios and Pythia, who are marvelous and powerful

Exactly. I must admit I had some quite high hopes after reading many materials about meditation and opening the chakras on ToZ because I didn't take into account that some people are infinitely more sensitive than me. On the Zevist path, everyone has a vastly different starting point.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

BUT I am in no way giving up on my own evolution, or even thinking I won't get better.

That's the spirit! Keep it up, brother. HEIL SATAN

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

...

I just wanted to mention that flame meditation is like a simpler version of void meditation, as long as you aren’t thinking of anything. Since you seem to occasionally struggle with void (like I do) perhaps this could help.

Also how much air is in your chart? I ask because abundance in air makes one very scatter brained, (hard to focus on one thing)
Just as well I’m not sure if the ascendant, Midheaven and minor planets ( Chiron, moon nodes, fortune and the Black moon Lilith) count as an element I say this because that particular website counts the north node and Chiron And the AC/MC making my elements 5F, 4A, 3W and 2E... But when I looked at the website Aldrick recommended it showed my elements as
4A, 3F, 2E, 1W see what I mean big difference, also proving I am indeed even more scatter brained than what I previously thought. So I do think this is correct considering my own tendencies.

Oh and I love that picture too forgot to say last time, very impressive :P

Have a great week Nemo,

ChaosBringer666 wrote:

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

...

I just wanted to mention that flame meditation is like a simpler version of void meditation, as long as you aren’t thinking of anything. Since you seem to occasionally struggle with void (like I do) perhaps this could help.

Also how much air is in your chart? I ask because abundance in air makes one very scatter brained, (hard to focus on one thing)
Just as well I’m not sure if the ascendant, Midheaven and minor planets ( Chiron, moon nodes, fortune and the Black moon Lilith) count as an element I say this because that particular website counts the north node and Chiron And the AC/MC making my elements 5F, 4A, 3W and 2E... But when I looked at the website Aldrick recommended it showed my elements as
4A, 3F, 2E, 1W see what I mean big difference, also proving I am indeed even more scatter brained than what I previously thought. So I do think this is correct considering my own tendencies.

Oh and I love that picture too forgot to say last time, very impressive :P

Have a great week Nemo,

I know that meditation as substitute for the Void but I guess I always thought of the closed eyes Void as the best one to master one's mind.. also because I never had a vision with my eyes open, only when they're closed and I feel I can better enter the "possible trance one gets with the eyes closed" sort of thing. Lately, I HAVE done something similar though, but with the Sun, staring at a beautiful sunset as I LOVE the fire colors, the yellow, strong Savannah kind orange, it's kinda entrancing and the Sun isn't as strong as in the middle of the day so I don't get blinded or anything. Actually, last time I did or the time before that, I had this moment with the Sun and it made me think of Haures.. how She was the first Goddess I ever spoke with (even if so very briefly) and how I felt so close to Her somehow.. resolute, dangerous, diligent, beautiful.. it made me feel like I belong with Her much more than I do with Leraje (whom I think was the first Goddess I ever saw and that I consider my Guardian too.. or one of them, if I have more Guardians, or more Demons I'm really close to since another life). Lots of questions coming up, then, but one thing is for sure. I find Haures to be the most amazing Demoness, and I feel some kind of shame in thinking I have overlooked something very very important for all these years, losing myself into theory and unimportant things, prioritizing something less vital to me. I guess sometimes we forget how signs from our Gods reach us for a reason, and how nothing is coincidence.

As for the websites and planets displayed, someone here told me not to care about the Chiron and the True Node or the AC and MC as they are not planets. There's 10 you should care about, the Sun and Moon and the other 8 planets (there's 9 in our System but we don't have 'Earth' in the chart).
And you're right, I have 4A, 3F, 3W, and ZERO E. Which I think is a combination that would make anyone VERY scatter brained! XD I think in the end we solve this imbalance by absorbing either the lacking element or simply absorb and work a lot with the Akasha, having all the elements in it, it's sure to balance everything in time. PS. I don't really share the concept that you use someone's dominant element against them in magick, but the lacking one. I have absorbed absurd quantities of Air and it did me nothing bad. I have some "Air abilities" (weather manipulation and astral sense of scent, and good physical sense of scent too) so I guess that only makes sense, BUT I found that Earth can make me dizzy, feeling overwhelmed and generally uncomfortable, also I have had Earth 'press me down' with a lot of gravity force years ago and I had VERY sore muscles for two weeks.. reminding me never to underestimate Earth again.
After years I have tried that again to test myself but didn't go all out and it still made my back hurt.. you no fuck with Earth man. :P

Anyway, yeah, since there's 10 planets to consider in the chart (4A, 3F, 2E, 1W) that makes you the proud... winner.. of another... scatter brained focus!!!! XD Guess that's how you find it hard to focus too, mate.. a little hint I did find very useful sometime, to the point of leading to a vision:
Try focusing on the sound of your slow breathing. Close your eyes, don't use any breathing techniques from the ToZ (unless you're already pretty confident and familiar with them), sit comfortably with your spine as straight as you can (but relaxed, don't strain) and breath slowly.. NOT to the point where you gasp for air like a Nemo out of water lol. Just breath slow, fill your lungs without straining, exhale. Repeat. Listen to yourself breathing, focus on the sound the air entering and exiting you. There's nothing else but that sound. When your mind is relaxed enough and you may feel like dozing off a bit, try counting numbers, mentally. It doesn't have to be one number for breath, just slowly mentally count numbers. This will make your attention 'unscatter' and give power to your astral attention. I saw a Goddess this way and wasn't even expecting Her (didn't ask for the name, I think it might have been Furfur but I'm not sure to this day).

We Air people (FROM THE AVATAR lol .. :P nah..) need to learn how to let go of errant thoughts. I can start thinking of one thing, and in one minute I'll have thought of another 10 or 20 and got somewhere completely different in my head. This is what we want to learn to avoid. You know when you dream and you have no power over anything, the world just leads you wherever it will be? Sometimes my mind feels the same, I start focusing and the moment after I'm somewhere else, thinking of something completely unrelated. In Zevism this is a huge problem, so you and I my friend need to both 'Earthen up' and build solid, unweavering, fucking Willpower.

I have had good periods in which my focus was easier to tune, but it doesn't last very long. Runes, Rituals, special meditations.. nothing seems to work for that. In the end it's YOU vs YOUR BRAIN. You are in control, not errand thoughts. Fuck thoughts. Pick something you like, a shape, an image, a song, and play it in your head until you feel like you made that shit in the first place. Errand thoughts come up? Mentally say "FUCK YOU!" and bring your attention back. You'll get there, mate. Nemo guarantees it.

And thanks lol, I haven't drawn anything in a while, I'm trying to learn about 3d comics and making some money if possible. It's another great way to let your creativity run loose like a dog in a field.

HAIL ZEUS!

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I feel that until I have fixed my freaking mind, OR found a way to evolve by fully embracing this fantasy as well, figuring it not to be a bad thing, I will be stuck.

Many people have fetishes, I guess. Me included. According to the description of yours, I don't see it being worth losing sleep over. If you'd like to get rid of it, I'd suggest a Munka working perhaps?

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

So, yeah, I'm pretty fucked in the head, Brother. Still trying to fix this..

You tell me. For a long time I felt like slowly but gradually losing it. It may be that this is an enemy interference and nothing else. Those grey fucktards are said to have ineffable mind power. We OTOH were raised and schooled as cattle.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

You don't need alcohol or drugs to feel completely fucked up.

Nope. Even when I was pretty heavily intoxicated (alcohol), I could still feel that something is not right. It can drive one mad, like a splinter in your brain.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Something that will work without me straining so much to accomplish something.

Don't get trapped. Tuning out can be accomplished much easier. For example, go out and work on your garden, trying to void your mind.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

It's like I recover by being active, not passively laying in bed.

This is what I recently discovered. When I had days I didn't have to do any mandatory operations, I usually sat behind my PC, reading stuff, just chilling, watching videos. I was tired when I woke up, I was even more tired after several hours spent on the computer. I couldn't accomplish jack shit. Bad sleep, possible apnea, confirmed low blood pressure... I'm gonna see a doc about this very soon.
Approx. two months back I undertook quite a big project, building something from scratch. I just MAKE myself get up and go to work after breakfast. So far, the project is a real success and I feel so much better.
This is gonna be weird and awkward. This one day I felt like total shit. I had not slept well for weeks. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I was wondering about the situation and where to get help from when suddenly a very clear image appeared in my mind. An image I had seen at a shop. Tobacco-free nicotine pouches. As a last resort, I decided to buy a box and try it. The way this image appeared was most unusual. Well, for me, this is kinda like a miracle. My mind is calm and sharp, I feel great, sleep is so much better and I'm able to work like there is no tomorrow when I need to. I don't know what this substance exactly does or helps or replaces in my case. It may well be that the childhood vaccinations messed up something inside me and I have to deal with this shit for the rest of my earthly life or until I learn to undo what was done.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I just believe the greys don't respect your level of grinding and they raise the bar a lot every time. It's harder and harder. Even Rituals used to feel much more powerful, not I barely feel them. Maybe I'm getting stronger, eh... who knows. Maybe I'm just being extra pessimistic here.

I think you are getting accustomed to the energy and the novelty wears off. As for the greys, they can go fuck themselves. Despite all their efforts, I'm still here, alive and kicking. And so are you.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

Ever get the feel like you're a rough diamond that needs a lot of cutting (off of shit you don't really need) and shaping (into what you're truly supposed to become to shine bright.. or reflect the light of the sun)?

I've always felt myself like a fool whose abilities have been corked up. Now, thanks to finding ToZ, I have all I need to uncork them. Just need more free time.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

some good power metal

You mean music? Gimme some examples. For some weird reason I started listening to old funk and jazz.

Take care, Brother.
HEIL SATAN

Apprentice wrote:

Many people have fetishes, I guess. Me included. According to the description of yours, I don't see it being worth losing sleep over. If you'd like to get rid of it, I'd suggest a Munka working perhaps?

From what I came to realize, most people don't really 'give up' on something unless they can get something else as a less self destructive substitute of equal or superior power. Meaning, I don't think I have this fetish for nothing, I think I've been realizing how things work at a mental/energy level so that a person may improve themselves willingly without necessarily thinking they're damaged or something.
In my case, I know my fetish has everything to do with a power trip, only inversed. Which made me time and time again realize if I 'need' to feel incredibly helpless and weak, it most definitely must mean I'm actually all but those things.
In the end, I have to fully embrace myself, and over the last few days (I have postponed writing you back, sorry, needed to figure myself out a bit more) I have realized Haures actually wants me to become deadly and strong. Which means, having nothing to do with 'inverse power trip fetishes'. I've been meditating while looking at the sunset. Somehow, looking at the Sun 'diminishing' in power has made me feel like I need to be stronger, to protect it, if that makes sense. I though of the Sun as Satan or one of our beloved Gods and wanted to fight for them, because I feel that's the right thing to do. At that moment, my fetish was completely gone, I had zero desire to feel helpless or submissive, my sense of justice was the only thing that felt strong. I wanted to fight for the Gods and for the animals, for those that can't protect themselves against invaders. And at that moment, I felt Haures was watching me. Or at least 'being aware' that I was coming to my senses, and to myself.

When I was younger and fully embraced the beauty and expressiveness of martial arts, sometimes I felt this absurd 'urge' to win, to fight harder, it would take so much from me I would feel it in my Solar chakra (now that I can name the part I felt), and it's very much the STRONGEST thing I ever felt directly from emotion, like an emotional response dictated by my sense of justice in wanting to use something like martial arts to defend those that needed protection and were righteous and innocent.
Compared to that feeling, my fetish sucks ass. Sure, it won't lead me to an orgasm in record times (useful to relax before meditation and bathing my chakras with the energy), but it's somehow stronger. I don't know how else to explain it, it's 'the strongest feeling' I've ever felt. I assume it might be a common thing among us Zevism, maybe that's the energy I should really focus on. Maybe it was my Solar chakra activating as a child? If it was it DID feel incredible.

By the way, the latest sign I got is '12 petals', so Heart Chakra. I'm going to use Fire element to stimulate it (not the heart, don't worry.. using Fire on chakras is fine of course). I feel like this could be a next step in connecting the male and female parts, so it only makes sense.

You tell me. For a long time I felt like slowly but gradually losing it. It may be that this is an enemy interference and nothing else. Those grey fucktards are said to have ineffable mind power. We OTOH were raised and schooled as cattle.

I felt them again, they just love to give me bad thoughts and bad ideas... which I am assuming means they see me as a bigger threat than I was, how stupid they can be for a 'superior' race lol. I can't wait till I'm good enough to just burn them alive. For now I just did a particular fierce Ritual after. A Brother of mine once said "..it probably means they want me to do more Rituals". :P

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

You don't need alcohol or drugs to feel completely fucked up.

Nope. Even when I was pretty heavily intoxicated (alcohol), I could still feel that something is not right. It can drive one mad, like a splinter in your brain.

Don't get trapped. Tuning out can be accomplished much easier. For example, go out and work on your garden, trying to void your mind.

Yeah, I need to work more on that. Mastering the mind has GOT to be the hardest thing to do in the universe.

Approx. two months back I undertook quite a big project, building something from scratch. I just MAKE myself get up and go to work after breakfast. So far, the project is a real success and I feel so much better.
This is gonna be weird and awkward. This one day I felt like total shit. I had not slept well for weeks. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I was wondering about the situation and where to get help from when suddenly a very clear image appeared in my mind. An image I had seen at a shop. Tobacco-free nicotine pouches. As a last resort, I decided to buy a box and try it. The way this image appeared was most unusual. Well, for me, this is kinda like a miracle. My mind is calm and sharp, I feel great, sleep is so much better and I'm able to work like there is no tomorrow when I need to. I don't know what this substance exactly does or helps or replaces in my case. It may well be that the childhood vaccinations messed up something inside me and I have to deal with this shit for the rest of my earthly life or until I learn to undo what was done.

If those pouches work and you don't have the urge to smoke anymore that pretty much confirms what I said about one fetish/habit overwhelming another I guess. Maybe the Gods knew it would take too much for you not to crave something that would destroy your body and in order to give you a quick way out of this shitty habit they suggested this (temporary) solution so you could think properly and calm your mind and meditate without feeling overwhelmed by something completely unnecessary. My guess is that in the end, when you've accomplished enough steps on your own and can use energy with discreet ability and have opened yourself up to the astral at a good enough level, you'll be able to just dump whatever chemical release you feel helps now, as you'll be able to fix yourself changing your body in something closer to a god, and will feel great realizing and knowing you don't NEED anything else other than all your Soul provides.

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

I just believe the greys don't respect your level of grinding and they raise the bar a lot every time. It's harder and harder. Even Rituals used to feel much more powerful, not I barely feel them. Maybe I'm getting stronger, eh... who knows. Maybe I'm just being extra pessimistic here.

I think you are getting accustomed to the energy and the novelty wears off. As for the greys, they can go fuck themselves. Despite all their efforts, I'm still here, alive and kicking. And so are you.

Absolutely correct. It's just a little disappointing (as you know I, like you, have had tremendous trouble feeling anything for so long) since I had really started feeling Rituals and Runes, not to feel them anymore because I may have accustomed myself to the energy and maybe grew some in the process. Never mind that now though, I feel like this is a good time to work on feeling my chakras and flooding them with energy, namely Fire. I don't know why Fire. It just feels right. Water would slow me down, Earth feels strong but too different than Air which I'm used to and Air.. perhaps Air as well. This one time, last month, I focused on my breathing and absorbing Air slowly, and my third eye started to PHYSICALLY throb. I never felt something like that before. So I guess I will start with Air to clear myself and sensitize myself, then.. Fire things up. I just love Fire.

I've always felt myself like a fool whose abilities have been corked up. Now, thanks to finding ToZ, I have all I need to uncork them. Just need more free time.

I know, same here. Just don't make the mistake of thinking (again and again) that 'more time' will do the trick if something don't work fast enough. In my very personal opinion at least, doing more of the same just won't help. I had to join this forum after years of tries just to find a few information on things I hadn't tried, and when I finally did, I DID feel. Maybe we Air people pick up things more easily and need to change our routine and training schedule if we don't feel something quickly enough, then later after we do feel we can come back to the previous tasks and training and will succeed at them because we managed to transform ourselves enough?

Satan_is_our_Father666 wrote:

some good power metal

You mean music? Gimme some examples. For some weird reason I started listening to old funk and jazz.

Yeah, I mean as in metal music. :) Often helps, unless I need quiet and silence to Void meditate and ban thoughts. There's various types (too many to remember) of metal.. "Nu", "Trash", "Death", "Power", "Epic".. depending on what vibe you're into you can try a few and see what you feel. I don't know what these definitions really mean, I know I tend to favor "Nu Metal" because the sound feels powerful enough and causes some kind of emotional reaction that others don't. I always felt music could very easily be used in magick to power one up and kinda 'resonate' with the music, almost feeding off of it somehow.. one of those definitely strong emotional Solar chakra feelings I told you about in this reply were actually triggered by a song called "The Man Without Fear" (Daredevil's OST). There was this 'vibe' that took me entirely, I felt my aura expanding like a powerful wave.

It's your own emotions driving your energy in the end, not 'the music' as a tool, but as a vector for driving your emotions out and for you to bind them to a task.. I find it very effective. Think of it as 'a drug that's not chemical and has no side effects but that people normally don't know how to use and that is actually a stepping stone to reach higher in a magickal working', if that makes any sense.

Again, this is my personal understanding of how this works. Other music I find particularly strong... MORE than metal... is classical. Mussorgsky (Night on Bald Mountain, Baba Yaga, etc) is a fucking great composer, Rossini (The Storm part 2), and the commonly known "V for Vendetta music" Overture 1412 finale from Tschaikovsky... if one usually feels apathetic and emotionless, let them listen to these at loud volume (headphones on loud mate) and see if they don't cry or scream in delight. ;)

Take care!

HAIL ZEUS!