Question #2367: life out of control (not the same one posted here and not the same person)

I saw the post here about life being out of control and that we could ask for advice.
I've been feeling like this for a long time, I've cried several times like today because I'm afraid, after I dedicated myself I lost all the fears like of the dark and horror movies but I still fear my future, I'm afraid of not having a good and comfortable life, of failing in my studies (in all possible), of being like my parents (bad and will die that way), that I won't be able to help people in bad conditions, that I won't get good grades and do everything perfectly, that I won't be able to get married one day or find someone who loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and isn't disgusted to look at me, like I do, I've never had any love experiences and I feel like a loser, I've never even held a boy's hand in my entire life. I've talked to Father Zeus and said that I'm also afraid of failing with them or being seen in a mediocre way. Even though I have access to knowledge that I can apply to change, I get desperate. (this was a quick summary of everything I'm feeling, sorry if it's too long. I'm an 18 year old female)