I totally understand sister. I am too. It's not that I am specifically lazy or immature. But sometimes you can have burnouts where you just feel like you're living to work. You have no energy for anything anymore.
Someone who never worked a fulltime job can never understand this. It's not about the amount of hours you have in the day or anything.
I do think it can be managed though and just giving up completely isn't an option we can take. Even if we did it will just give us much lower energies and other problems that comes up due to this. So efficiency is best here. To take it easy but also do something that helps.
I can see you're going through a bad bout of burnout. Take some time to heal when you can and figure something that works better for you. Zeus and the Gods are there for us. Talk to them too.
Good luck my sister.
HAIL ZEUS!
Thank you for your kind words :)
Thats very true.
To be fair I haven't worked a full-time job yet, but I've spend entire days studying, from the moment I woke up till I went to bed, and in the meantime being bullied and dealing with that as well, this was when I was in secundary ed, and I lost a lot of sleep also (due to the stress from the emotional consequences and the lack of time which I had to study to be able to get through the test, so I stayed up till I was so tired I couldn't take anything in by which time I was nearly sleeping.. which more often than not was midnight - 2AM (and my alarm went off at 6.30AM) multiple days a week.. which also lead me to feeling totally exhausted in every way - so no this is not the first time).
And a lot of time outside of work having necessary appointments, doing household chores (also after my mom passed away after years of being terminally ill when I still lived at home), cleaning up, studying, etc, also on weekends or days off.
Basicly going almost non-stop. For a very long time.
Before I left home things got even more strained with my father. Usually at least I kind of got along with him and we understood each other but I just can't stand being there anymore.
That house was and still is a big mess. Whenever we (his mom and me) tried to throw something out he'd also make a complaint, that it had cost money, get all emotional and yell. We had to leave it there in the house.
I don't live there now, its just not my problem anymore.
It feels like I had been walking on eggshells for years.
...
Mhm. I am thinking of things that I can do right now that don't take up a lot of energy or that don't pile up the amount of stress. Nor do take a lot of mental strain because, when I am tired, and I need to do something I can just sit there staring at whatever is in front of me into oblivion for 20 minutes or longer before I force myself to get up and do it. Not a great way to spend your time at all, especially if it is close to bedtime.
...
I also need to look if I don't have some kind of weird transit going on, and to check my lunar return.
Last friday I woke up feeling all yucky, which mostly happens if something is wrong with people that I know.
And then I heard later on that day, (and another thing has happened in the meantime), and another similar mention also earlier today, that people they knew died. So its been very emotionally charged this past week..
I'll go do returning curses later and probably another round of cleaning. Guess thats the best I can do right now.
I just really needed to get this off my chest.
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