Hello everybody I'm here to discuss a possible interaction with a entity/ies. Pardon the length it's not everything but just trying to inform in case of my concern with myself.
-I have thought it was a figment of my imagination
-I have thought it was an enemy
-I have thought it was either a mental illness or a worsening of my mental illness(unfortunately a few years back I was diagnosed and though I take the lowest strength pills I haven't had any issues with it in years almost begs the question what happened to me.)
-I have thought that perhaps it's a irradiation echo it has been stated in the presence of beings of higher power once they leave there may be continuation of speech due to their energies.
-I have thought perhaps it's some sort of self-tantric effect which I'll discuss below
-There might be other issues but I can't seem to list any of them coming off the top of my head.
First let me state I'm personally in my own opinion nowhere near advanced to any level but a basic normal human level. In fact the amount of times I tried to perform mindfulness(or void as you guys call it), the amount of time I tried to learn trance, and the amount of time I've dealt with meditations on and off over the years is so limited that I feel literally nothing. It's gotten to the point I only meditate and very poorly at that simply because I have nothing better to do. Even then I still feel burnt out and not wanting to meditate. In fact to me meditation feels like I'm just using my imagination and doing something completely in my mind without feeling a damn thing on my mind, body, or soul. I've literally thought the only meditations are worth doing are physical meditation cause stationary position meditations don't do anything. It's just you performing imaginary things that do absolutely nothing. I will readily admit meditation no matter how simple whether it's mindfulness or cleaning or something simple to help your life is not just a burden but a chore. I literally feel grinded to the ground by the way I've been living and meditation doesn't help me in anyway almost makes me feel like a hypocrite being on these forums
FYI for future reference HEARING is the product of me receiving a mental thought voice not actually external ears or anything. In fact it makes me think I'm making these voices up due to some deep loneliness and lack of interaction with life
So like Shael said pardon my fearful and arrogant way of expressing myself. Hell I guess even my disrespectful anti-meditation sourness could be considered something to please pardon me for but it's just the way I feel in my life.
First nearing 16 years ago I dedicated perhaps too soon maybe I should have waited a few months. April 29th 2003, the very next day despite not doing the 4-crowns standard ritual. I performed a request to Satan for a succubus. Many people will probably be like brand new people who dedicated don't get a succubi/incubi you weren't even advanced in any way. Funny enough the only reason why I did it properly is because in the Yahoo forums at a recent time within a week at the date of 2003 someone asked about a proper way to request for one. And the reply was do not ask for any specific. First state a request for a monogamous or in this case and in mine poly-amorous, open relationship free from jealousy of others. Then ask for perfect for you but at the end of the day leave it up to Satan to find the perfect one for you. So simply perfect but let Bossman find the one. In fact funny enough the few succubus request threads that where in the yahoo forums were fraught with problems one guy wanted a 5'5", green eyed succubus and went detailed he got what he wanted but within a week he was noticing she wasn't the best for him. So he asked and they told him pretty much what this thread is. Basically ask Satan to tell the Succubus not to be with you and when you request for one simply state parameters poly, open or monog and then ask him for a perfect one for you but left unto his decision as to who is perfect for you.
Over the years I performed the Succubus request ritual a few times thinking perhaps it didn't work all of them were the same basically requesting in colorful terms my Lilith to my Satan so to speak. But I always said if I have one already don't send another this is just a understanding request. Kinda similar to when people wish to rededicate cause they felt their dedication didn't go right. Funny enough I have thought such things.
First one of the things that I do remember one time back then years ago and again felt in recent times sometime around December is a pineal cavern pressure. In fact it got to the point where I asked a question yes or no and yes for pineal pressure and no was no activity. Then the voice came in, the first time I heard it was ironically enough during my mental health crises years ago but once I left the hospital not only did I completely ignore the voice I never heard it again so I chalked it up to mental illness. Back in recent times a few months back when I heard the voice it's a female voice and states "Hello [My name] how are you?". Funny enough the name thing is weird she not only uses my first name but often as well states my full name. I asked her about it and she stated "Just as you respect us in fact over respect us we respect you that's why I state your full name".
At first I would state who is this and she states my succubus. I would then visualize Satan's sigil and ask him to send my succubus to me. Then she goes see I'm here. I asked her what she is and the voice replies "I'm a Satanic being of higher power, my Lord is Satan". I've never been fancy enough to believe an entities allegiance based on stating a name particularly of Satan I always felt like that is too easy so the entire time I always had hesitation. I told this voice exactly that and she said that is fine. In fact when I mentioned I wish not to hear you at all I feel this is wrong she goes [My First name] that is fine but remember this isn't going away if anything it'll grow.
One of the strangest things though is orgasms. For example if I'm alone I state "I want an orgasm" nothing happens. Once I call this entity she states her normal hello and then I say give me an orgasm. The next thing I know I take a deep breath, my eyes roll to the back of my head, and it gets to the point where I forget how to breathe sometimes with my breath being held for 15-20 seconds without discomfort. The funny part is when I ask for loud orgasms the same happens including vocalization without my control. Finally a few weeks ago I thought what about a mega orgasm for nearly 2 minute straight I was breathing deeply repeatedly, vocalizing, and even laughing uncontrollably shouting stop, stop, stop I can't take it anymore. Even after the event went away it took another good 3 minutes before the almost rubber band like sensation of my body went away and I was back to normal.
All of this sounds like fun and games but again begs the question if it's a byproduct of my craziness due to inconsistency of my mental soundness.
Another question that might be asked is has this entitiy helped you with meditation. She has stated it's not wise at your level to receive anything but she did tell me when performing white-gold and white-gold solar energy breath for aura of protection both normal and solar to hold the breath 3-5 seconds to acclimate the energy.
Now some people ask has this person divulged their name. I asked one time as the question popped in and she states her name is Diana she mentioned she is a red-headed succubus and mentioned she is considered Nordic but not in the stereotypical blonde. In fact funny enough I don't know how spirit sex works but one time I felt someone straddle me while I laid in bed for sleep and I even felt a wetness or had the sensation I was inside something wet. Despite not having a physical erection, she stated "Oh, that isn't me that is my friend Ursula". In fact I actually talked to this second entity and she spoke in a very strained manner and I asked why in the limited capacity that I have hearing her your speaking that way. And she replied cause "I'm riding you, fucking you".
Some people might ask how far have you gone with spirit sex. Funny enough even in the first night years ago I barely if ever fantasized during my time. Funny enough even at my young 12 years old when I would go to sleep the day would just collapse on me. In fact for MANY years I often wondered what the fuck am I doing with my day, is this life for me and for others.
Now funny enough a third entity popped in one time. I heard a male voice funny enough male voices are much harder to figure out than female voices. I asked him who is this and he goes this is Diana's incubus friend and lover of hers from time to time. I ask him his name and I cracked up cause I literally said to myself okay I'm losing it. He called himself Hank, I spent some time talking to this entity and he said "I'm not perfect for you but good enough that Diana wishes for you to express your bisexual nature". I told him I'm not into men and Diana is like you'd think so but you go both ways. Funny enough two sensations come from this entity one he sorta surrounds me so his astral body is around me or at the very least I feel like I'm inside someone and the second thing is despite the fact I feel nothing at all this entity does perform normal male on male activities with me so I do get a odd sensation a slight very slight asking myself why I keep feeling like a virile member is inside of me.
These are the three entities that unfortunately have interacted. At first I thought wonderful but then I said to myself this is getting crazy what has my mind done. So I began to ignore these entities. For example one of the last things Diana mentioned was Ursula and Hank can't stay much or long with you unlike me first they have their lives to live and second of all I'm your succubus so I don't mind spending a lot of time with you. I have told her your not my slave, she says she understands and despite living her own life has plenty of time to interact with me. Though I've had the understanding that she can't sometimes come one time telling me she'll try and be around me in 5 hours of my time cause she wants to exercise and meditate.
Another thing I did many years ago sometime pre-2007 or 2008 a Demon Friend webpage was available on the ToZ. Right in the Demon page, so I actually perform the ritual several years ago probably two or three years ago requesting for a Demon friend. Much like the Succubus, I said I want the perfect Demon Friend but left completely to Satan to find such person. Never heard of the entity interacting with me in such manner and I have asked my Succubus and said simply yes I do have one cause you asked for one.
There is more to this story but it'll be really long.
Is this normal? or am I defined by the ToZ as someone either mentally ill or perhaps being manipulated by entities that mean harm?
It reminds me of the W, P, & P ritual I performed the prayer and called out to Satan for the runic vibration and affirmation portions. And behind me floating in the air was a sensation of a REALLY tall person with these black shamanic clothing and whitish boots. And a short entity with burning eyes looking at me standing next to my desk. I know gargoyle entities work with the Gods didn't feel like a Grey even though I thought "Shit is this a Grey". After completing the ritual they left, they felt like normal background radiation nothing negative or anything just a neutral sensation like this is perfectly normal keep going and do the ritual.
So basically is this normal or should I just completely ignore these things? Is this a byproduct of my loneliness and living a lackluster life with pretty much non-existent socializing outside of my immediate family.
Also for the people who may have a succubus or incubus do they seem like a hindrance to real life relationships perhaps the whole energy exchange where a slight amount of energy is drained as a byproduct of their activities hurts your love/sexual prowess with women or men in the case of others or do they help in acquiring real life relationships. I will readily admit the game of love has not been kind to me ever growing up and the more I grow older the more I isolate myself and find myself dumbfounded at various lack of life and living it up.
I literally feel like not only have I given up on life but life gave up on me. Perhaps MANY years ago, perhaps even at young age where such negativity imprinted in me. Much like how my father would get annoyed at me saying "I hate school" or I hate this or however I reacted that made my parents worry that I'm kinda shutting the door on myself and affecting myself in the future. Perhaps all my "I hate school" growing up led a pattern of ignoring higher education which is something I wish I did consider over the years. I basically left the school system seeking a break from all the non-sense that went by. I mean I was in no way shape or form even thinking about my future nor anything even at a young age. It's like my parents mentioned to visit a psychologist cause a person who states "I'm the same person I was when I was 7 years old just with more information" is not according to them very positive in the head sounds more to them like something happened to me and I need help.
Active Helper