The aspects I mentioned relate to insecurities about my self-worth and feelings of inadequacy, like that no matter how hard I try I can never be masculine enough. Those feelings are so oppressive, that they've pushed me to the point that I feel like I'd rather just give up on being male altogether, so that I can reassure myself that that isn't my role anyway, and that I can just leave all the manly things to the person who will be my husband instead. In that way, I would try to make peace with it. But so long as I'm still male, I can't shake the feeling that I'm a horrible failure of a man, and this ties in with the other, connected aspect that eats away at my self-esteem. I could never shake those feelings, even when I was just a young boy.
I think perhaps I need to do a working to instill in myself the notion that no matter how masculine or unmasculine I am, I'm good enough; that I'm not a failure for not being the manliest man in the world, regardless of whether I'm male.
Do you have any recommendations for runes or an affirmation I could use for this? If not, I'll think of something myself.
I am glad you are able to understand what some people were trying to tell you. It would be a real tragedy if you undertook some drastic action that did not fix your problems, only add to them.
I'd be highly surprised if what you are mentioning is not described by your Chiron or other astrological placements. Everyone can relate to you in feeling inadequate in some way. Mine is in Libra and I am currently doing work to fix this as we speak.
I know of someone who has their Chiron in Gemini and so they feel intellectually inadequate. Then, if you look at their Mercury, it is in Scorpio, plus the large part of their chart is water and earth. Therefore, it is not a surprise that they might have developed negative feelings over their past lives pertaining to a lack of air.
As you may know, "negative karma" is a giant category that encompasses basically anything you could think of, including mental blocks or bad programming. Perhaps your soul has many feminine qualities and this resulted in suffering relative to your sense of identity.
Obviously, having identity issues is not just a normal state of existence for the soul, therefore this is akin to dross or karma that should be removed. I would first try to scrub away the karma before trying to do an "additive" working, if that makes sense. Both types of workings will probably get the same result, but I bet that removing negative karma would work more efficiently.
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Regardless, I currently think the best way to remove negative karma is Munka, unless there is a reason that Ansuz or Uruz seem to fit better. So you can do this to any multiple of 9, and you will want to do it for a good amount of time since you are facing probably your largest karmic issue.
"The energy of Munka has completely and permanently removed any negative karma pertaining to my sense of identity as a man, in a positive manner for me." x9
Obviously, you can modify this based on how you think of the karma in your head. Maybe you want to change the terms used, for example, or maybe you want to broaden this to include related transits or something.
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I don't know what your chart's makeup is, but it may make sense for you to follow this up by doing work to increase your overall yang characteristics. Now is a good time for Mars and Sun Squares, as well as the first half of next year. Uruz and Sowilo will accomplish similar things as well.
Of course, the main priority is resolving the emotional issues before adding things on top of it. However, increasing your masculine traits is useful for general balancing. We all have to appreciate and incorporate both femininity and masculinity into ourselves for true success.
Hope this helps.
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