I'm in a confused place,and I really need good help/advice

[pacharica]

Hello dear friends in Satan,

I have been dealing with alot for the last few years.I have sought answers here on different account,but the answers I get I still doubt.

full story:

I worshipped lalita/kali maa a few years ago,I was also studying the JOS,and agreed with alot of it.

all of a sudden I started getting dreams,from 'kali'that She sacrificed children,and I woke up and looked it up and this was a big thing in bengal at some point.

at that time I decided'kaula'is not for me,tripura sundari is the highest female aspect of paramashiva.

then I got a dream that YAHWEH and abrahamic religion,namely judaism and christianity are also from 'her'.this was weird because this isn't the case.

then one morning,I was sleeping in my bed,and I had a dream where a guru turned into flames when he was giving darshan,and a big black dog attacked him and came to me,and a cartoon-like angel said 'you have been worshipping satan!'and the dog was about to attack me,I called on shiva a few times and nothing happened,I then out of fear called on jesus and the angels stopped and I woke up with the power out in the house.

I repented and was very confused and frightened.I got into a fake evil guru called nithyananda,and even wanted to join his ashram.

I was confused about all this,and decided to give christ-insanity a try,and that night in my dream some entity impersonated my sister and told me to kill myself,i woke up in sleep paralysis and a blonde haired shining figure was at the door,and I got scared and called on jesus and banished it in his name and he went away.

for the next few days,I'd get put in paralysis by beautiful indian women with fair skin and voluptuous figures,I assumed'oh,thats lalita..this whole time christians were right and I was worshipping demons,who must be bad'!

I also saw nithyananda riding on a chariot with the horse being a ugly entity the christians refer to as 'demonic'.

I experienced many attacks for months,and they would always go away when I called on jew-sus.

they would put me in paralysis and impersonate my dying mother,who passed at the time but was rendered sickly and paralyzed due to kidney failure.

they would impersonate my sister and tell me 'Jesus is bad'in paralysis,so i thought'see these evil things hate jesus,that means jesus is the truth and the true God'...

they came to me in a dream and were chasing me with machetes and told me you can worship any God,any angel any prophet but no jesus'...so i thought...see!theyre against jesus...the christians were right!

then I came upon a distressing site called'spiritreports'blogspot which had stories of 'demons and demonesses'and jewsus saved them from these entities,and they were queen of the coast and african goddesses,umbainda spirits etc

this site is a tyranical form of jew religion,if you have a fade haircut you go to hell,wear deoderant you go to hell,dye your hair...hell...short sleeves and pants...hell...forget to pay tithes...hell...and they also say they saw people in 'hell''for this.

I having a anxious personality type keep being afraid they're right about all those stories and such,and that despite the torah being a trash book full of errors,that somehow 'jewsus could be the true god'because look at all those testimonies.

before that it was looking at sid roth channel,which the above say is going to burn in hell for being prosperity preachers and work with malevolent entities.they also claim most 'pastors'are in the occult,and utilize help from 'evil entities'for their ministries.

also,some hindu stuff and pagan stuff in general gave off a bad energetic vibe to me,but most of it had wholesome energy.

I have a diagnosed mental disability,and my upbringing in a strict baptist church with fear pushed on me as a young boy changed neural wiring in my brain.so please have some understanding for why I out of fear have joined the enemy at times.the enemy knows this and plays on my fears and disability.

I get thoughts I know are not of my own.

then this site has alot of answers,but I get doubts alot because I haven't read the sources for alot of the jewish occult workings and that they control the jesus egregore in the astral.

I am just confused,and in fear.

out of any kindness you have in your heart please help.

I am not one to beg,I have dignity..but this predicament is mental hell and is affecting my life.

if you have any answers please share.

I am not a troll,but I am in a low place and this has been my authentic experience.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

Lucifer's name relates to the word "light" and he seek for us to empower our souls with light.
In the bible, Adam and Eve were cursed due to eating the apple of knowledge. Does that sound like what a good person would want for you? Why would they curse you for wanting to meditate?

Our Gods encourage us to grow and be strong and self-sufficient, just as proud parents want for their children. The enemy tries to scare us and make us act as slaves to them. That is the opposite of a healthy religion.

Satan and are Gods are sensitive to our needs and troubles. They would never scare you or tell you something awful.
Most importantly, they would never try to put you in something like a firey hell just because you didn't listen to them.
This is clearly a fear tactic.

Jesus somehow saves people. but he never teaches them to save themselves. Satan teaches us to be a God with him, not just a simple human.

 

[Shadowcat]

I can assure you that you have had negative experiences with a hostile entity that has nothing to do with any of our Gods, or at best the tortures of your own anxious mind. Void meditation or relaxation can calm this if the latter is the case but if not, you might want to increase your AOP (good to do anyway) and ofcourse stay on top of RTR's. If you still feel harassed either perform a banishing ritual or ritual to Abrasax. Enemy beings don't last long if He is near . Banishing rituals are best performed on a waning moon of Scorio, Pisces or Capricorn. https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Banishing.html Be sure to clean your aura after or do returning curses.

https://satanslibrary.org/Demons/Abrasax_Power_Ritual.html

 

[Henu the Great]

...

To put it simply. You have connected to our enemy. It's a trick to lure you in with some amount of relief, but then keep tormenting other times.

The antidote is as follows.

Start meditating with a regular routine. Cleaning, and protection meditations mainly. Banishing, if needs be. Returning Curses 1&2 will do wonders. Sunlight is very potent for cleaning and energetical purposes. Doing a few RTRs, more wonders. On a regular basis, even better. Start opening your chakras. Connect to Gods instead of enemy programs and tools they use (grey mind-controlled aliens). This will result in being free from the shackles of enemy programming. But first, are you dedicated, or on the fence?

 

[AryanPriest666]

...

Enemy religious mind control programs are designed to keep us in fear, programming/indoctrinating us during our formative years. It sounds like you were subjected to this sort of fear-based mind control from an early age just like many of us here were. Needless to say, this programming can run deep and takes time to dismantle and fully dissolve. There are many layers, but with diligence, dedication and discipline, it can be overcome fully and completely. Satan and our Gods want us completely independent and free of these enslavement systems, and they show us how to break our own chains.

You did the right thing by reaching out and asking for help and sharing authentically your struggle, that takes courage. You recognize where you made a mistake by reverting back to the enemy and seems you've learned and grown a lot from this experience. Realize also that this is a learning process, one where we are bound to fail at times. No worries, we see where we made a mistake and we move forward.

 

[NeonBlue]

Now I dont mean to be a nay sayer but Im careful when someone go around saying they diagnosed a mental illness and lay on the hitler stuff. It just comes across as trolling. Am I being too careful here? Plus those crooks a few days back layered it on reaaal thick with the hindu imagery so maby its that.

 

[Henu the Great]

Now I dont mean to be a nay sayer but Im careful when someone go around saying they diagnosed a mental illness and lay on the hitler stuff. It just comes across as trolling. Am I being too careful here? Plus those crooks a few days back layered it on reaaal thick with the hindu imagery so maby its that.

Either way, the issues are best addressed accordingly. If they are not with us, they will be ousted one way or another sooner or later.

 

[Karnonnos]

This is just bullshit from the enemy or hallucinations. Our Gods are crystal clear, they tell you simply yes or no, they show you things grounded in truth, there are no negative prophecies or garbled associations of irrelevant imagery. If you notice, every time you begged for the nazarene scum's help, things simply got worse each time. Parasites such as this act as a program first and foremost.

When Henu says you connected, this could mean in a prior lifetime. Many people have hangups with xianity that stem from extreme abuse and torture of the soul.

The Thuggees were a group of deranged Muslims, little different from gypsies or modern invaders. When you read the source documents and correspondence from these prisoners they constantly use the pisslamic theological concept of qadar (predestination) as a reason why they did any crime. Any reference to Kali or Bhavani is actually rare. The colonial administration of India tried to create this typical Satanic panic nonsense using Kali to placate all sides. This is no different from how they divorce the enemy creeds from responsibility even nowadays.

 

[Henu the Great]

When Henu says you connected, this could mean in a prior lifetime. Many people have hangups with xianity that stem from extreme abuse and torture of the soul.

We can not discount possibilities extending into past lives, but I was mainly going by what OP shared in their post. Clear signs of connecting to enemy.

 

[pacharica]

I also remember when I was in xtianity my mind would become dulled energetically like a thoughtform feeding off of me :shock: when I left it was removed