Freedom from depersonalization

[Fraroderini]

Hi everyone,

My intentions are everything but not bothering you. Recently I saw a psychological horror movie and it deeply traumatized me. I don’t think for the movie itself, but some of the scenes (about sexuality, affection, love) awakened in me my childhood trauma. I grew up in a Christian family who didn’t really support homosexuality (I am bisexual).

The fear of feeling judged and wrong grew me up. I had defeated this thanks to Satanism, I was about 16 when my problems went away.

I have watched this movie on February 4th. By February 9 I was fine, in some ways, I was relaxed. Until February 13 came: while I was just studying, suddenly the trauma came in again and scared the hell out of me. Since the 13, I have the symptoms of “Depersonalization”. Life feels like a dream, a nightmare, things don’t feel real and memories feel like millions of years ago.


I tried to search for an explanation. I live in Italy, and here the Waxing Moon phase ended February 6th. So on the 4th, the day of my “trauma”, it was almost a full moon. When by the 9th I was fine, I thought: «It would be great if I completely want to destroy this thing: let’s try, since it is Waning Decrescent Moon, to use the rune Wunjo and heal my problem 100%.» I suppose this was a mistake: I think that, from that day, I felt the symptoms of Depersonalization. I am not sure. But since then, I am experiencing this nightmare and don’t know how to get out of it. On 15th I had an amazing success during an exam, still I was depressed and looked like my emotions completely ran away.


I am not begging for help but I’d like to. I believe that time could heal this, maybe a psychologist could help. But all of you know what my trust relies really on. Satanism.

Is there a way to get out of this situation?
Here in Italy the moon will be Waxing Moon starting by the 21st of February.
Was it a mistake to work with Wunjo for some days on a Decrescent moon?

Will I ever be happy again?

Thanks in advance for all those who will respond.
I really wouldn’t know how to thank you.

F.

 

[Rroco88]

...

I don't think that starting a working to get rid of mental problems/traumas during a waning moon was a bad idea at all. Because, as it is written on the Timing your Magick with the Moon page:

When the moon is waning (decreasing in light; full to new), this is the best time for success in black magick and works of destruction, the best time being as close to the new moon as possible. The waning moon is also a good time for ending things, banishing spells and ending personal bad habits, losing weight.

As you can see, the waning moon helps with ending things while the waxing moon helps with gaining things.

What I suppose you're trying to do is ending/getting rid of your trauma, so a working starting during waning moon is better.

And... don't worry about being "happy", or chasing happiness. Enjoy where you're at now in life. Remember everyone has it's timing and whatever is to come to you, will come at the right time according to the Universe energies.

You ever thought that this seemingly "depersonalisation" feeling might actually come from you getting over your traumas? Especially as you said it got strong when you've done the working for those few days.

Remember that some workings might feel like doing the first steps in healing a wound - putting sanitizer on it.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

This is normal. Make sure you are diligently cleaning when you attempt to address major negative karma, as dirt will come off and can manifest in ways like this. The good news is that these symptoms will get easier to deal with.

The depression will go away and leave you with increased happiness, but this is after the working has ran its course (80-120 days).

Read this post: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=418128#p418128

 

[Korpi]

As for your horrible experiences, you can heal from them:

Wunjo rune, start today or tomorrow as the Moon is waning in Pisces.

Rune: Wunjo (or any other variations, Waunyo, Vend, Vin, Wynn). Its number is 8 so you can do 88 reps, 40 for people who aren't used to higher reps, or whatever amount you feel is best for you.

Vibrate it the same amount of repetitions every day for 40 days. You can continue for 80 or 90 days if you feel it is needed, or you can do another round of 40 days at a later time.

Affirmation 9x: "In a beneficial and healthy manner for me, the energies of [Wunjo or variation of] are totally and completely healing me from any and all psychological, mental, and emotional damage and pain".

Now, this is going to bring up some ugly stuff. For example, if you lived in fear as a child and always had stomach aches, this working might bring them back. You might also get flashes throughout the day of memories of trauma and so on. But it won't last long. Just keep it up and you will come out of it stronger (and saner) than ever. - Lydia [JG]

Moon in Pisces
This is the one of best times for endings, especially when the moon is in 20-30 degrees of the sign (make sure it is not void).

Monday 20th March, Waning Moon in Pisces.
The Throat Chakra is the "Seat of Emotion".
Mercury rules the Throat Chakra.
Begin during the Hour of Mercury.

Research has proven that the Ancient Chaldean planetary hours are extremely accurate. I strongly encourage you to download the Chronos program from this website: CLICK HERE

See also, Setting up ChronosXP

You need this.
Download: SS Calendar
More information, 2023 - SS CALENDARS - ThomaSsS

 

[Fraroderini]

Hi everyone and thanks for your replies.

Actually realized it is not depersonalization but it’s more similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I feel like I have no hope. For about 3 or 4 hours. Then, for 3 or 4 hours again, I feel like I can overcome it. But this is lasting since the 4th of February and I don’t really know what to do at this point. I feel completely lost and hopeless.

I don’t want this to last for years.
My “trauma” was to watch a psychological thriller movie that lasted about 30 minutes.
Can something like this shit ruin completely my life? During that day I wasn’t even so scared. The trauma came in the evening, while I was studying. I was really scared. By being so unexpectedly scared, I asked myself: “What is happening to me? Am I traumatized? Will this change the way I am? I’m not gonna be the same after this!!”

I don’t know if my thoughts affected the way it went.

I just know that this is the lower point of my life. I have never been so down. Never been worse. Luckily I’ll go visit a psychiatrist next week.
But I am afraid. Really afraid. That feeling that life is not going to be the same anymore is killing me. Is killing me because I feel it. I feel like I did a wrong thing and it destroyed my life. Can 30 minutes destroy my life?
I even tried to think that rationally: can really 30 minutes traumatize me so much? Is it that realistic? People have been through so many worse things, but have been feeling this way.


I am literally desperate guys. I don’t see an escape from this. And I would do anything else instead of accepting this.

I wish I could go back in time.

I don’t really know what to hope for. I am writing desperately and nothing seems to have an effect.

Is there a way out? Will I ever be happy again this year? Can I heal in a year?

So so so sorry to transmit this negativity to you, guys. I would suggest to enjoy life and don’t underestimate the power of some things.
I used to be a quite brave and strong person tho. I watched many horror movies and never had this fear. I was even interested in the genre.

What do I do?
Does a powerful work exist for this?

Even just knowing that I can heal in a few months could save my days.

I am not asking for mercy or compassion but please guys, if you can, I need the strongest help.